anyone else completely obsessed?

[marksb11]

I went to talk to one of my school pyschologists the other day to get some tips on how to overcome the anxiety and stress that I am getting in result of my hair loss. After venting all of my issues to him, he told me about a disorder I had no idea existed and actually may be whats causing me this unrelenting anxiety.

Its called Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) and it's not nearly as bad as it sounds. To sum it up, BDD is basically an obsession someone gets (almost like obsessive-compulsive disorder) with some aspect of their appearance. They are constantly checking this body part infront of a mirror, counting, measuring, visiting doctors, looking into treatment options , etc. A book was written on this, which I highly recommend to all of you as one of aspects of the book deals with hair loss and a mental process involved, by the name of "The Boken Mirror." It was written by Katharine A. Phillips, M.D.

In any case, I haven't read it yet, but I read the summary and it sounds very valuable. I believe it talks about a form of hair loss that people experience due to BDD and might not actually be suffering from any type of heredity disorders, male pattern baldness (Hopefully that is whats going on for me!)

So, there it is. Take a minute and think about it. Are you obsessed with hair loss? I didn't realize how obsessed I was until after I met with this psychologist. If you are, you should read this book...

If you have any questions because I didn't really give a good description of the disorder or book, post back and I'll leave more info.

 

[Headache]

A little obessed...

I know I can't speak for everyone here, but I think all of us are a little obessed.

I know I must look at my hair 50 times a day. Maybe not for long periods of time, but at least a glance in the mirror to see how it looks. I'll wear hats to go out if my hair looks just a tad thin, or I'll put on Toppik to go visit my parents so that won't notice the thinning.

I guess we all have our tough days to deal with this crap.

 

[outgrowth]

I am obsessed for sure.

 

[marksb11]

By obsessed, I mean that the fisrt thing on your mind when you wake up is your hair, you CONSTANTLY think about your hair (every few minutes), you may have trouble sleeping because of your hair.

Do yourself a favor and read the book.

 

[outgrowth]

Yes, one of the first thoughts I have when I wake up is about my hair. The big mirror in front of my bed also helps. But I sleep ok, no problem at all, sometimes I even dream that I have a full hair head, and when I wake up, I think 'f*ckin reality'.

 

[Trent]

definitely obsessed, but i'm getting better. i actually knew about BDD and was wondering if it applied to me, maybe a little obsessive compulsive disorder, but honestly, i think mostly its just the shock of suddenly feeling like you look completely different. like someone getting in a car accident and losing a hand or something, you obsess over it, and it takes time and possible even a grieving process to get over it. the attitude you have to try and take (which i'm still working on but have definitely not perfected) i think is to do everything you can to treat the hairloss that still fits into your normal lifestyle, and move on. if going to psychologists and talking your problems out, or reading and researching your obsession and ways to deal with them in an effort to overcome them helps, go for it. but i think eventually you just have to say, i'm doing what i can. if you are honestly thinking that the BDD is causing your hairloss then you may be just still in denial (i'm not saying its 100 percent, but didn't have the BDD symptoms AFTER you noticed your hairloss).

anyway, good luck, the good news is, you're not the only one dealing with this stuff.

 

[JayB]

Yes I am obsessed. This is my entire world, my life. It could sound ridiculous to some, but at 23 years old and a father and grandfather with a full head of hair its devastating to be going through this..Its virtually impossible not to have self pity when I have panic attacks over losing my hair. I look at pictures of me when I was 21 and long for those days and dream about them because i felt like the world was just out there for the taking...now i fear my 25th birthday because i think i will have male pattern baldness.
It is all i think about from the moment i wake up to the moment i go to sleep. what did i do to deserve this.

 

[jimmystanley]

hey trent8....it's more like having 2000 hands and loosing one a day. and then u grow to accept what u have left and then lose another the next day. Each day gets worse, thats the hard part about learing to just "live with " you\r new look....cause then u loose that look...hmmm, i'm a little confused.

 

[KevinW]

For those of us in our early 20's and teens...

Sometimes it feels like your life is over before it's even begun. Up until a few weeks ago I literally thought about my hair at every waking moment. I woke up upset about it, I couldn't eat, and I couldn't get to sleep because it was all I thought about ( I even almost blacked out once thinking about it). It helps to get a new distraction... with the weight I lost it was easy to see results when I would work out, so I put effort in to that. Now I eat very well, get exercise, and I refuse to let myself look at my hair every time I see a mirror. I'm at the point where I have to seek out flaws from certain poor lighting conditions. I realized that it was making me insane, so I don't do it anymore...

I am determined not to let my hair be my biggest weakness.

 

[marksb11]

I wish I could be as strong as you. I too have tried to "give up" looking at my hair and focus on something else, but it only lasts for a matter of days for me. Everytime I get focused on something else, I'll accidentally tough my hair and see 20 hairs fall out...then fall back into being depressed again.
I love to lift and workout- I played soccer and ran track (winter and spring) for four years in high school. I lifted all the while. I even continued playing soccer and lifting for a couple of weeks this year (freshmen year of college), but I thought I was seeing more hair loss from intense physical activity. It's probably another stupid theory I made up (hairloss is caused by hormones, lifting causes an activity in hormones, therefore a growth in hormones will make hair fall out...right?) that I convinced myself is true, so I have stopped working out. I even gave up drinking because I convinced myself that drinking was causing more of my hair to fall out (it certainly appeared that way anyway).

So, not only is hair loss affecting my looks, I also think its affecting my social life and that is another huge reason why it is getting me so depressed.

 

[The Gardener]

I am not obsessed about it. It's not a huge deal to me. I consider my regimen, and my interest in giving advice to this forum as more of a hobby than an obsession.

When I was younger and first started coming to grips with my hairloss I definetly got obsessed for a while. Now, I never fully accepted my hairloss, but in time started accepting that it is okay for me to walk out of the house with a high forehead and slightly receeding temples.. maybe getting that first girlfriend after this time, and her not reacting badly to my hairloss helped. After I got over my situation, I think I regained some personal confidence in my looks, and me in general, and it really has never bothered me quite that deeply ever since.

I think that we are too obsessed with perfection as a society. Of all the things I could have as a 'handicap', some forehead hair recession is pretty light ticket.

Sorry, I don't mean to spoil the tone on this thread, but I did want to get my two cents in and hopefully make someone here realize that the initial shock of male pattern baldness is not something that you have to fret about forever. In time, I got more of a sense of perspective and in time my self-confidence returned. Took a little soul searching to get there, but right now my life is awesome male pattern baldness or not.

 

[elguapo]

I think it is worse than a car accident or other *sudden* loss (bear with me here) in the sense that we know it isn't over yet. Hell, it's like seeing a car accident about to take place- you can't do a damn thing about it, and you know the outcome is going to be very bad.

Interesting thought that there might be a grieving process involved. But again, I think there's this sort of constant feedback that readjusts the grieving process, because the hair loss gets worse.

But yet, I think there is something in our "wiring", our minds the psychologically makes us different than other hair loss sufferers who really, honest to god don't care that much. Some people just aren't phased by it like we are. I think we are probably perfectionists to some degree, or just flat out have high standards and/or low self-esteems.

I truly believe that once I find my "soulmate", the girl that I'll spend the rest of my life with, I just won't give a sh*t anymore. But we'll see, I might just be kidding myself on that one.

I think the idea that BDD *causes* hair loss is bullshit. C'mon, the mind can do a lot of things, but I don't think it can make you lose hair without having any degree of male pattern baldness. Sure, the placebos in treatment studies gained some hair by positive thinking, but believing that THEY were taking the treatment when in fact they were taking placebos, but still. Sounds like a good read though.

 

[pleasehelpme]

man word.. i am obsessed. my mood can change depending on whether my hair looks good or bad/how much hair i see falling out.

 

[marksb11]

Pleasehelpme....sounds like we are exactly alike. I guess it makes me feel a little better that I know someone is in a situation very similar to me.

The Gardener....the problem with me is that I have always been rather self conscious. I mean good looking girls have always called me "cute" or "hot", but I was still always worried about my appearance and never was fully confident. The difference with your balding (sounds like your hair line is just receding) and mine is that mine is diffuse, so once it reaches a certain point, my whole head will be revealed, and that time could very well be by the end of the school year.

I'm accustomed to going after good looking girls because I've been told I can. Going bald will change my status with the girls, and I will have to go for girls who I don't think are good looking. I certainly know looks aren't everything, but the adjustment will still be devestating to me. I can't imagine any kind of good looking girl that goes to my school that would like to date a bald freshmen/sophomore. My future makes me feel sick....

 

[stepbehind]

I'm defintely obsessed. I constantly look at my hair, even if I'm just walking in the parking lot I look at my reflection in the windows just to make sure that no one can notice the receding forehead and diffuse thinnning. I even consciously make an effort not to stand in direct lighting so no one will notice.

The problem is that up until I started balding, I had the world on my shoulders. When people first saw me, they thought "he's pretty good looking." I've been hearing it all my life. Now, when I meet someone I just can't help thinking that they're thinking "oh my god, he's bald!"

It's not something that you get used to either because you hear about it all the time. Hair always seems to come up every now and then. Maybe you're sitting with a friend and she checks out a guy and says something like "he's got great hair". And you can't help feeling like sh*t because you can't have a great hairstyle. And you know that it's only going to get worse from here on out.

I don't know, male pattern baldness has gotten me so depressed that I just want to stay in my bed and never leave. Somedays I'm fine, but more and more I'm becoming depressed. And it's not like you really have anybody to talk to about balding. I can't sit down with my friends, or girls and talk to them about it. That's why this site has been a godsend for me. At least I know I'm not alone.

BTW, do you guys ever seriously wish some people with great hair would go bald? Or is it just me?

 

[pleasehelpme]

marksb right on brotha...

stepbehind.. i feel you too... i feel for everyone who's going through pain because of hairloss... just keep on battling that sh*t. let's never give up.

and hah i dont wish some people went bald... i wish i had more hair and that i never experienced hairloss/thinning. it sucks when you feel good about finally getting your hair styled in an approvable way even though it takes half an hour and then you see your friends' who spend less than 2 minutes and have great, and thick as a fuckin bush hair. heh

 

[marksb11]

whats ironic is that i used to be an a**h** and tease people i hung out with for little things. i used to joke about how a kid a year older than me in high school was balding and someone two years older. guess who the next victim was? that's right, me!

I used to have that great, waxed up, messy flip up that everyone loved. my hair was great.....it was so incredibly dense, you couldn't see my scalp even when it was wet!!!

i too, don't want to get out of beds on some days. i'll be trying to write a paper, think of my hair, get so depressed and can no longer write. i'll admit it, im a tough guy, but i've cried over my hair loss....on many occasions. today was one of those days. it just seems so unfair.

 

[macdruid]

I think what's really hard, too, is when you don't even remotely expect the type of balding you end up with. Three years ago I got a teeny, typical bald spot. I figured, "hey, I'm 31 now...so what." My hair was great all through my 20's so I figured I could live with a small bald spot and eventually receding temples.

Flash forward to early this year and sudden diffuse thinning leaves me a bit shell shocked. In the last 8 months the top of my head has just gone to he*l. :freaked:

 

[JesusFreak]

This topic has come up many times on this board and others.

I used to obsess over my slightly crooked broken nose before I started noticing my hair falling out. I used to obsess for hours in the bathroom over ever angle of my profile. It's some kind of chemical imbalance, which pretty much came under control when i started jogging 5 miles a day.

I really think my hair started falling out after I became obsessed with it, and worrying 24/7 about it falling out and not being able to control it. The biblical saying, “the thing I feared the most has come upon meâ€

 

[DarklyCharming]

Jogging increases dopamine and other brain chemicals, and after about a month or so I started getting a more accurate image of myself, and my hair stopped falling out. I think you can probably get the same effect out of various chemicals on the market.

Couldn't agree more. I work out and lift weights a ton. The feeling you get after a great workout and the endorphins that are released give you a chance to feel happy and see yourself through a more accurate lens than hair loss paranoia. Plus, you're improving your body's appearance so if the hair completely goes, you can flex an arm and the girls still swoon.