Almost to 1000!

viperfish

viperfish

Senior Member
Reaction score
2
I am almost to 1000 posts and I don't know why I want this so bad, but I really do so if you could keep replying to this post I can keep replying back and maybe make it to 1000 posts by the end of next week, which would be really great and I would be quite excited about this, so if you could please do this I would really appreciate it I love rum it is so good.
 
E

everysixseconds

Established Member
Reaction score
0
im growing HAIR!
 
Cornholio

Cornholio

Established Member
Reaction score
1
The funniest joke ever... (from a magazine survey)...



"I went to my doctor and told him, 'My penis is burning.' He said, 'That means somebody is talking about it.'"

--Garry Shandling ::
 
Cornholio

Cornholio

Established Member
Reaction score
1
Another google result for funniest joke ever...


"Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.

"The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: ‘My friend is dead! What can I do?’ The operator says: ‘Calm down, I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.’

"There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: ‘OK, now what?’"
 
viperfish

viperfish

Senior Member
Reaction score
2
Cornholio said:
The funniest joke ever... (from a magazine survey)...



"I went to my doctor and told him, 'My penis is burning.' He said, 'That means somebody is talking about it.'"

--Garry Shandling ::
Click to expand...

Ha ha that is good! :lol:
 
Cornholio

Cornholio

Established Member
Reaction score
1
viperfish said:
It is rated ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRH! :roll:
Click to expand...

:D


A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells "You should have been here at 8:30!" he replies: "Why? What happened at 8:30?"
 
Cornholio

Cornholio

Established Member
Reaction score
1
And another... from the GQ study of the best jokes ever...

A guy enters bar carrying an alligator. Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks." The crowd agrees. The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator's mouth. Gator closes mouth. After a minute, the guy grabs a beer bottle and bangs the gator on the top of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks. Then he says: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It's a woman. "I'll give it a try," she says, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."
 
viperfish

viperfish

Senior Member
Reaction score
2
Little Viperfish and his grandfather have gone fishing. After a while grandpa gets thirsty and opens up his cooler for some beer. Little Viperfish asks, "Grandpa can I have some beer too?"

"Can you stick your penis in your a**h**?" grandpa viperfish asked back.

"No"

"Well, than your not big enough"

Granpa Viperfish then takes out a cigarette and lights up. Little Viperfish sees this and asks for a cigarette.

"Can you stick your penis in your a**h**?" grandpa Viperfish asked again.

"No"

"Well, than your not big enough"

Little Viperfish gets upset and pulls out some cookies. His grandfather says, "Hey, those cookies look good, can I have some?"

Little Viperfish asks, "Can you stick your penis in your a**h**?"

Grandpa looks at Viperfish and senses his trick so he says, "Well of course I can, I'm big enough."

Little Viperfish then says, "Well, then go f*** yourself, these are my cookies"
 
Cornholio

Cornholio

Established Member
Reaction score
1
:lol:

I was coming back from Canada, driving through Customs, and the guy asked "Do you have any firearms with you?" I said: "What do you need?' (Steven Wright)
 
Cornholio

Cornholio

Established Member
Reaction score
1
http://www.wam.umd.edu/~stwright/right/ ... right.html

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happen if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
-- Steven Wright

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.
-- Steven Wright

I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, "Got any shoes you're not using?"
-- Steven Wright

Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.
-- Steven Wright
________________________________________________________
Bonus link : http://www.familyguyquotes.com/top-rated-quotes-3.html
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Community platform by XenForo® © 2010-2023 XenForo Ltd.
Top