Advice Needed! Come Clean To Girlfriend About Balding?

Hairo

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After some advice from my fellow bald/balding peeps. A bit of background, divorced and almost 40. I've been dating someone for over a year who doesn't know the extent of my hair loss (nw4/5) I use concealers (not currently living together) hence why she doesn't know or I don't think she knows.

Anyway I have vacation with her family coming up to a very hot climate we will be swimming daily. How the hell am i going to handle this? It will be shock to her and her family to see me with a massive bald spot! f*** wish i'd never ever started using concealers!

Other thing is she likes hair! She said my dark hair was one of things that attracted her to me :(
I love this girl so thinking I just need to come clean some how without sounding like a beta male.

Also going for a hair transplant consult in a months time which requires travel for a few days not sure what to tell her about that either! FML!

These are the options I've boiled it down to:
1) Tell her
2) Hide it until she/family member said something , like why do you have a trail of dark stuff behind you in the pool and you're bald?!?
3) Shave my head ( had a small FUE in temples 10 years back so don't know what this will be like though)

Any advice would be much appreciated!
 

Derminator

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Dude how is this even a question, just fking tell her already. You can't keep this up forever, and even if you somehow could it's just not worth it to stress out every f*****g day about her finding out.

I don't think there's an alpha way of doing this, you're just gonna have to swallow your pride and hope she digs the fact that you show vulnerability. You should try to come up with a way that allows you to get in the pool but not push your head under water because the shock factor might make things too awkward for everyone involved. Tell them you have an ear infection or something and water can't get in it so nobody tries to push you under or something. As for the future, you could consider using less & less concealer over time to make it look like you're balding rapidly and/or hope the surgery helps you out.

There's a nonzero chance it won't work out because of this (I don't doubt she'll react positively initially to not hurt your feelings but it might mean she grows less & less interested over time) but if this is a deal breaker you're just wasting both of your time. Most important thing in my opinion is to come clean to her but NOT her family.
 

disfiguredyoungman

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You should tell her and maybe wear a swim cap.
 

Saurabhaj

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Tell her but in person,when close to each other.

If she becomes angry,use hair transplant procedure as a bailout to your problem
Most girls think hair transplant is solution to baldness...
 
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Hairo

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Dude how is this even a question, just fking tell her already. You can't keep this up forever, and even if you somehow could it's just not worth it to stress out every f*****g day about her finding out.

I don't think there's an alpha way of doing this, you're just gonna have to swallow your pride and hope she digs the fact that you show vulnerability. You should try to come up with a way that allows you to get in the pool but not push your head under water because the shock factor might make things too awkward for everyone involved. Tell them you have an ear infection or something and water can't get in it so nobody tries to push you under or something. As for the future, you could consider using less & less concealer over time to make it look like you're balding rapidly and/or hope the surgery helps you out.

There's a nonzero chance it won't work out because of this (I don't doubt she'll react positively initially to not hurt your feelings but it might mean she grows less & less interested over time) but if this is a deal breaker you're just wasting both of your time. Most important thing in my opinion is to come clean to her but NOT her family.

Thanks man i needed this! I know I need to tell her, I have been meaning to for months and months. Never used concealer until my divorce someone in TV told me about it. It gave me so much more confidence when I was back on the scene it was unreal! I planned phasing it out while dating her initially but it just didn't happen and now it s been a year. f*** it will tell her this coming weekend with no or little concealer. I 'll report back and let you all know how it went.
 

Trichosan

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Tell her? What are you going to tell her without sounding like your begging for acceptance? Just wondering.
 

Funkymonk1

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Is the way you look the only reason she's with you? If so I don't see much long term future in that anyway. Besides women cover physical deficiencies up all the time eg using makeup to cover wrinkles & eye bags ect, cellulite, bras to enhance saggy/small breasts and so on. Tell her that if she reacts insensitively.
 

swingline747

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can you just shave it for vaca then grow it back. When its growing back you can act like it coming in thinner is something new lol
 

Derminator

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Is the way you look the only reason she's with you? If so I don't see much long term future in that anyway. Besides women cover physical deficiencies up all the time eg using makeup to cover wrinkles & eye bags ect, cellulite, bras to enhance saggy/small breasts and so on. Tell her that if she reacts insensitively.

That's probably the worst idea ever. If she reacts insensitively the only correct response is to be a man and take it, she might respect that and come around. Acting like a little b**ch and starting a fight about how women conceal everything is just a recipe for disaster.
 

justinbieberscombover

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Is the way you look the only reason she's with you? If so I don't see much long term future in that anyway. Besides women cover physical deficiencies up all the time eg using makeup to cover wrinkles & eye bags ect, cellulite, bras to enhance saggy/small breasts and so on. Tell her that if she reacts insensitively.
Lmao being passive aggressive will just make her dislike him..
 

g.i joey

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Unless you wanna go another route and play it like she already knows, or at least you thought she did “you know the concealers i use don’t hold up well in water so don’t be surprised when we’re swimming and you notice I’m balder than usual”

If you don’t like her reaction to that, then sway over to “once I get my hair transplant I can stop using these concealers for good”
 

Hairo

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Tell her? What are you going to tell her without sounding like your begging for acceptance? Just wondering.

Was thinking i'd get down on one knee , reveal a blindingly big sparkly diamond to distract her from my big shiny dome, bam! Shes see diamond and bald spot... then take it from there ... :)

Jokes aside, no f*****g clue. I was thinking of just saying what do you think of the shaved head look?..whatever her response, like or not.. i'd just say..look i'm going bald so you better start liking it :)
 

Hairo

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Is the way you look the only reason she's with you? If so I don't see much long term future in that anyway. Besides women cover physical deficiencies up all the time eg using makeup to cover wrinkles & eye bags ect, cellulite, bras to enhance saggy/small breasts and so on. Tell her that if she reacts insensitively.

Yeah think she does like the way I look a lot!...I like the way she looks a lot to, shes hot man!. its more then just looks though,shes a good egg!
 

disfiguredyoungman

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Was thinking i'd get down on one knee , reveal a blindingly big sparkly diamond to distract her from my big shiny dome, bam! Shes see diamond and bald spot... then take it from there ... :)

Jokes aside, no f*****g clue. I was thinking of just saying what do you think of the shaved head look?..whatever her response, like or not.. i'd just say..look i'm going bald so you better start liking it :)

Sounds like a good idea, bro. Keep us informed how it goes.
 

Capone

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“She’s hot,man” :D

Honestly she’s probably going to say, “and, I knew you were balding the first night you bent down to tie you lace!
 

Trichosan

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Was thinking i'd get down on one knee , reveal a blindingly big sparkly diamond to distract her from my big shiny dome, bam! Shes see diamond and bald spot... then take it from there ... :)

Jokes aside, no f*****g clue. I was thinking of just saying what do you think of the shaved head look?..whatever her response, like or not.. i'd just say..look i'm going bald so you better start liking it :)

Maintain humor. Jolly good!
 
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