About me being 'positive'

[Thom]

I was told through a negg comment that I was on a high horse regarding my positive outlook on losing hair so I thought I would delve deeper into what got me there and where I came from. I realize this will probably not change anyone's mind to accept the fate of their hair, but I would like to go on record to give my side.

I'm not trying to be condescending or "higher than thou." I've been in your position. When my hair was short and you could see thinning all over, my 'friends' constantly made jokes about it, my dad made jokes about it (he would even put the camcorder on my bald spot when he was recording family events and say stuff like "here's Josh's bald spot!" I was an emotional mess and depressed about it constantly.

Even within the last year I got jokes. With my long hair and beard a friend referred to me as the "fifth balding musketeer," and it disturbed me. I guess what I'm getting at is I know where you come from, I've just had a re-awakening of sorts in the last half of the year. I've started making jokes at my expense, which in turn has caused me to gain more friends and surprisingly more confidence. I fill my mind with positive music, tv, and reading material, and over time it's just transformed me into a more well-rounded individual...which I need because I start teaching next year. If those students are anything like the cocky bastard I was they will try to expose any insecurity I have haha.

What this all comes to is this: I am not trying to be aloof, or even tell you that I'm better than you for being positive. I know the other side and I know it is possible to experience life better. I just want you guys to experience it too. I've been told that I don't know what it's like because I have hair, am 'good-looking,' and I am tall. I have had bad hair, I am only 5'11, and I am hardly a model. Just an average guy who can look decent depending on the day.

 

[Islander]

Nice reading you as always, Thom. My dad (the only other balding memeber of my family), has always sported the "cocky, don't give a serious crap" bald guy. Neither to say, he is extremely outgoing, has a new hot girlfriend almost every year and has billions of friends. I don't share his attitude. But when I'll have to take a 0 buzz to my head, I am pretty sure I'll have to adapt this more easy-going persona. But that's just my personality. I really don't care much when people are commenting on my thinning hair. What matters to me is that I love my freaking hair and I love feeling it! I love how it makes me feel about myself when I am in a crowd, or meditating alone in the woods. It saddens me that I am losing my self-image and forced to adapt to the look that's just not me.

 

[Thom]

I feel you man, long hair has always been a part of my identity. I was always told by girls that they usually didn't like long hair but I pulled it off and, speaking of your avatar, I always got told I resembled Brad Pitt from Interview With a Vampire or Legends of the Fall.

When I started losing and frantically cut it short I felt like another face in the crowd, a part of my identity gone. I hated the thought of looking like every other thinning Oklahoman guy. I liked standing out. I think a good part of my positive attitude towards it now is simply that I'm 26. I don't care as much about standing out, the long hair is feeling a bit too young for me, and I'm focused more on a career and starting a family than anything. I just don't worry as much about my image.

But to be 22, the supposed prime of my life, and to be told I was going bald? Talk about depressing and earth-shattering. I just feel blessed to have at least had some hair until I was 26.

 

[Islander]

Well, I am 22 now. And started losing it at 19! Imagine that. Me being the same long-haired boy. I looked a lot like my current avatar at that time too. I thought my hair was bombproof. I never even noticed that my father was balding, I thought he was just buzzing it really short. I am following his steps it seems. But fortunately, it's kinda slow too. My thinning hair is pretty much in the same condition as it was in 2011. And my dad went from NW1 since 19 to diffused NW4 in his early 40's. 22 years, 3 norwoods. That's not as agressive, I belive.

 

[Thom]

Yeah, sounds like you have some time before you go completely bald. I would have been crushed at 19, I feel your pain there. My Dad has gone bald but I was always told you get your hair from the mother's side so I thought I was safe. They have quite a bit of Native American in them and don't lose their hair. Well I definitely got his genes.

Sounds like we both have the same type of looks. I'm getting less Brad Pitt comments and more Kurt Cobain these days haha. I may still have the hair but the texture is not as good as it was so it's not as easy to keep nice as it used to be.

 

[DannyBoyy]

I was 16 when i started it was round 18/19 i started to accept it and move on i always knew my time was gonna come cause how my family is but not this early obviously but unlike you two i liked and wanted the buzz cut look anyway.

 

[WorkHardPlayHard]

Nice reading you as always, Thom. My dad (the only other balding memeber of my family), has always sported the "cocky, don't give a serious crap" bald guy. Neither to say, he is extremely outgoing, has a new hot girlfriend almost every year and has billions of friends. I don't share his attitude. But when I'll have to take a 0 buzz to my head, I am pretty sure I'll have to adapt this more easy-going persona.

I chuckled. This is my dad too; went bald in his early 20's, decided to lift weights like crazy, gets hit on by young women well into his 50's, hunts and fishes every day, has a fair career, and just lives every day to its fullest.

Then there's me, fretting over my NW2.5, and mustering the motivation to stay committed to working out.

 

[Thom]

Working out is one of my few comforts. Sad thing is, it's all cardio, so Im a skinny thinning guy. Not as appealing as a cut thinning guy.

 

[SDK]

You need to get some muscle, dude. Easier said than done, but doing that will make balding seem less important to your image.

Skinny guys with great hair and decent facial aesthetics seem to be the ones hit hardest by balding. They relied on hair as part of their image.

 

[Thom]

I can gain muscle pretty fast. Im not scrappy or anything, but my main focus now is getting good abs. Im almost a month done with Insanity.

I still have a good looking head of hair since the big 3. I just have some thinning in the crown and a bit on top but it isn't noticeable every day. When it is I use Toppik.

 

[Islander]

Skinny guys with great hair and decent facial aesthetics seem to be the ones hit hardest by balding. They relied on hair as part of their image.

...This has punched me right in my soul.

 

[ghg]

Some guys can't get muscles without taking dangerous drugs, even if they trained everyday for the rest of their lives.

This. I've hit the gym for like 5 years and still don't have that much muscle or strength. Of course if I'd I want to bulk myself and look like a pig and be unable to run normally etc, I'd get more muscle (and fat), but I'm rather comfortable in my current weight... some ppl just lack muscle definition, and that's me.