A thing I noticed since I started balding

[baldguy28]

I'm 29 and since my hair has noticeably started to recede more, I have noticed that my peers at work and even my supervisor have started to become more critical of me. An example was when I was drafting a letter the other day. My boss always used to compliment telling me that I did great, flawless work even if there were a few errors that he didn't catch when I drafted articles, letters etc previously. Flash forward to now and it seems like he is nitpicking and even made me go back and fix part of the letter where I put a semi-colon instead of a colon. He has also made me go back and change some of my wording around when he never used to before. It just makes me wonder. It's almost as if some people see hairloss and because it is so visible and doesn't look right they say to themselves: "hmm, what else is wrong with this guy that I can pick at or what else is this guy doing wrong" if anyone understands what I'm saying.
I've also noticed that people with full heads of hair can crack jokes and otherwise act like assholes and people laugh whereas if a bald guy tries to crack a joke, barely anyone laughs and he is treated like the biggest a**h** in the world if he mocks someone else's shortcomings in even the slightest way.

 

[JustBreathe]

There are two types of people in this world, those who secretly want to destroy themselves and those that secretly want to destroy others.

Balding is a chink in your armour, it can lead to failing of confidence.

Your supervisor has percieved this weakness and is lording more negative power over you because he feels less threatened now.

Remedy?

In every aspect of your life become a lion.

 

[RTJBJ]

believe me ., it all because of confidence..

i have been there, same manager who compliment all the time for my work, start giving me hard time and at that point i was blaming my baldness to it.

than i noticed another person in the group who is more visible bald than me , but same manager can't stop praising him.. ... Than i comprehend that there is some thing else and it could just be me....

than for experiment i become more aggressive in work and start working hard, also become more visible to other groups by responding to mail etc ..

suddenly thing start getting back to normal... my manager start giving compliment to me again., even he calls me two or three times in his office just to praise my work...

see , its all in our head...

get over it..

 

[omgstfuty]

First thing is first, dont ever put someone down, I knew that even when I had hair, its just not cool. so f*****g do it.
If you act like the diffent man and not follow the crowd you might get more respsct, to bge honest why the f*** would anyone want to follow a sheep? I hope u get me on that,


Be your own man.

 

[ACT10Npack]

Maybe one of the reason why your boss is on you more about the error is that he may got in trouble for the past error that should of got fix in the first place. If the department is doing bad or is getting errors in there work then it goes to the person who is in charge of the department. Your boss is trying to save his *** for the mistake that he should of caught in the first place. Should not worry about it.

 

[iamnaked]

I don't think it's an inherent problem with balding that people automatically take a dimmer view of you. It's a well known fact that people reflect similar vibes off each other. If you feel like a balding loser then you will probably be treated like one.

The antidote of ths is cognitive behavioural therapy. Basically this involves forcing yourself to do the things that someone who is confident, successful etc would do, on the basis that if you do this enough, the feelings associated with such actions will start a benvolent feedback cycle of good self esteem increasing the things you feel capable of, and the broadening of your prospects increasing your self esteem. This sounds so obvious it's like a tautology, but the reality is that many people are trapped in the paradigm of limiting their prospects by assuming a negative persona for themselves. They find it impossible to change their situation because it's not "something a person like them can do".

 

[bluntman]

There are two types of people in this world, those who secretly want to destroy themselves and those that secretly want to destroy others.

Balding is a chink in your armour, it can lead to failing of confidence.

Your supervisor has percieved this weakness and is lording more negative power over you because he feels less threatened now.

Remedy?

In every aspect of your life become a lion.

Nice post. A lot of imagery and substance

 

[hairhaircomeagain]

At work...its all about confidence and good work. Unless your boss wants to have sex with you he wont even notice your hairloss. Do good work and see the difference

 

[JustBreathe]

Bluntman - Thanks.

iamnaked - I agree with you. The thing is, it's very hard to escape old mental patterns. It's like being on guard 24/7 against yourself. Warring with the part of you that accepts mediocrity and indulges in doubt.

We are extremely complex animals.

I have days where I feel unstoppable, then days when I can't even leave my room.

Maybe happiness is not some chimerical state, but rather a skill that can be learnt, practised and maintained.