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Guest
Guest
On the day that I first noticed my hair to be thinning, I made a vow to get my 'hair' back. Being young, foolish and full of vim and vigour, I decided to take my mother's cow to market to sell for a pouchful of gold coins, of which I would then spend on getting my hair back to 'normal'.
I set off straightaway with 'Daisy', after a couple of hours walking the long road to market, I stopped for a rest. Soon, a little man passed by me on the road and suddenly stopped.
"Hello young man" he said, "Hello, sir!" I replied.
"That's a fine cow you have there" he said, "Why thankyou, Sir" I replied.
"Do also detect, the diffuse pattern of a Norwood 2 on your right temple there" He said.
"Yes, I'm afraid so." I replied glumly.
"Don't worry, Sonny. I have just the thing for you" he said.
He opened his small wrinkled hand and resting in his calloused palm were some small, blue, Pentagonal-shaped objects.
"These are magic hair beans" he said, with a glint in his eye.
"Take these beans, eat one and bury the rest in your back garden and wait" he continued.
"How will they get my hair back?" i asked.
"Just do as I say and all will be revealed" he said.
"OK" I said
"These beans are not free, you will need to exchange your cow for them" he said, sharply.
With a glint in his eye and bulge in his codpiece he took off with Daisy down the road, licking his lips at the though of servicing my cow.
I stood there with my magic hair beans feeling like a had just been made a fool of. I sheepishly made my way home with thoughts of horsehoes and beastiality in my head, where my mother met me at the door asking how many gold coins I had managed to get for 'Daisy'.
I held out my hand to show her my magic hair beans and she was very angry with me calling me "stupid", "irresponsible" and "gullible".
She took the beans and threw them away onto our front garden in disgust and didn't speak to me for the rest of the evening.
I went to bed feeling very sorry for myself. Anyway, 18 months passed by and my magic hair bean incidnet was forgotten about...until one morning when I awoke and open my curtains to be faced by a giant tree in my front garden.
The tree was tall and bushy and bore strange blue-fruits upon its branches, I picked one these fruits and sliced into its flesh to reveal a nut-like stone in the centre that contained hundreds of the magic blue hair beans.
I soon came to learn that the magic hair beans should be take once daily, and gradually after another 12months they began to thicken my diffuse Norwood 2 temple. I was overjoyed and began to replant my magic hair beans all over my many acres of land.
Soon, these acres were covered in Magic Hair Bean Trees which i tended and harvested their fruits for bean extraction.
I decided to share my magic beans with various Norwoods in my village and realised I was onto a prime business oppportunity.
Anyway, soon enough I was a multi-millionaire hair-god, selling my beans at market for gold coins and flagons of ale. Life was sweet, great hair, plenty of money and a forest of magic hair bean trees. I was living the high-life alright, but soon, I became foolish, I was frittering away my gold, having sex with brazen harlots and thus became complacent with my magic hair bean regime. I was having such a good time a forgot to take my beans myself and was not looking after my trees.
One day, I awoke in an Almshouse somewhere with my face buried in some rosy-cheeked strumpet's breast's and noticed that her voluptious jugs were somewhat 'hairy'. I got up in disgust and realised that the hair was not her's but mine. My hair had shed and fallen out on her wondrous cleavage. I checked my reflection in a glass door and was horrified to see a diffuse Norwood 3 approaching.
I screamed and ran to my house where to check on my trees but i was even more horrified to see that they were dying and limp, the blue0fruits were dried up and they were on their last legs. I frantically watered and fertilised and tended them, but to no avail. They all died.
I had it all and lost it all through complacency, plus that old man was still buggering my cow.
There is a moral to my story. Remember to never be complacent with your regimen whether its working or not, and if it does work don't be an a**h** now you have your hair back.
Oh, and don't have sex with farm animals.
I set off straightaway with 'Daisy', after a couple of hours walking the long road to market, I stopped for a rest. Soon, a little man passed by me on the road and suddenly stopped.
"Hello young man" he said, "Hello, sir!" I replied.
"That's a fine cow you have there" he said, "Why thankyou, Sir" I replied.
"Do also detect, the diffuse pattern of a Norwood 2 on your right temple there" He said.
"Yes, I'm afraid so." I replied glumly.
"Don't worry, Sonny. I have just the thing for you" he said.
He opened his small wrinkled hand and resting in his calloused palm were some small, blue, Pentagonal-shaped objects.
"These are magic hair beans" he said, with a glint in his eye.
"Take these beans, eat one and bury the rest in your back garden and wait" he continued.
"How will they get my hair back?" i asked.
"Just do as I say and all will be revealed" he said.
"OK" I said
"These beans are not free, you will need to exchange your cow for them" he said, sharply.
With a glint in his eye and bulge in his codpiece he took off with Daisy down the road, licking his lips at the though of servicing my cow.
I stood there with my magic hair beans feeling like a had just been made a fool of. I sheepishly made my way home with thoughts of horsehoes and beastiality in my head, where my mother met me at the door asking how many gold coins I had managed to get for 'Daisy'.
I held out my hand to show her my magic hair beans and she was very angry with me calling me "stupid", "irresponsible" and "gullible".
She took the beans and threw them away onto our front garden in disgust and didn't speak to me for the rest of the evening.
I went to bed feeling very sorry for myself. Anyway, 18 months passed by and my magic hair bean incidnet was forgotten about...until one morning when I awoke and open my curtains to be faced by a giant tree in my front garden.
The tree was tall and bushy and bore strange blue-fruits upon its branches, I picked one these fruits and sliced into its flesh to reveal a nut-like stone in the centre that contained hundreds of the magic blue hair beans.
I soon came to learn that the magic hair beans should be take once daily, and gradually after another 12months they began to thicken my diffuse Norwood 2 temple. I was overjoyed and began to replant my magic hair beans all over my many acres of land.
Soon, these acres were covered in Magic Hair Bean Trees which i tended and harvested their fruits for bean extraction.
I decided to share my magic beans with various Norwoods in my village and realised I was onto a prime business oppportunity.
Anyway, soon enough I was a multi-millionaire hair-god, selling my beans at market for gold coins and flagons of ale. Life was sweet, great hair, plenty of money and a forest of magic hair bean trees. I was living the high-life alright, but soon, I became foolish, I was frittering away my gold, having sex with brazen harlots and thus became complacent with my magic hair bean regime. I was having such a good time a forgot to take my beans myself and was not looking after my trees.
One day, I awoke in an Almshouse somewhere with my face buried in some rosy-cheeked strumpet's breast's and noticed that her voluptious jugs were somewhat 'hairy'. I got up in disgust and realised that the hair was not her's but mine. My hair had shed and fallen out on her wondrous cleavage. I checked my reflection in a glass door and was horrified to see a diffuse Norwood 3 approaching.
I screamed and ran to my house where to check on my trees but i was even more horrified to see that they were dying and limp, the blue0fruits were dried up and they were on their last legs. I frantically watered and fertilised and tended them, but to no avail. They all died.
I had it all and lost it all through complacency, plus that old man was still buggering my cow.
There is a moral to my story. Remember to never be complacent with your regimen whether its working or not, and if it does work don't be an a**h** now you have your hair back.
Oh, and don't have sex with farm animals.
Jack and the Norwood