I am getting too paranoid now. As so today I was at a fast food restaurant, and there were two black girls behind me. It's winter so I am wearing a hat, which when you wear for too long makes your thin hair even more jammed. I think they were giggling behind my back about my thin crown. When I briefly glanced over them to make sure, I heard what I think was:"He's looking at us, haha!". It's one thing when your hair loss is only noticable to you, but when other people start noticing is when it really hurts the most.
Well... Sh*t
- Thread starter Islander
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Benjamin36
Established Member
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- 30
Some people are just jerks.
BlackSheep
Established Member
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It might have been over something else. You don't know what people can find funny about you in an instance. Me and a friend found ourselves randomly amused by a passer-by's briefcase. It had the most unnecessary configuration. One wondered whether he stole it from the set of Mission Impossible 4. But I digress.
Nobody has said a word to me about my hair loss aside from a quick comment by a friend a couple of months back. I suppose it depends on the crowds you fall in and the general atmosphere of the places you're at.
Nobody has said a word to me about my hair loss aside from a quick comment by a friend a couple of months back. I suppose it depends on the crowds you fall in and the general atmosphere of the places you're at.
ProscarRules
Member
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Maybe they were attracted to you. Personally, I don't say anything to my bald/balding colleagues about their hair loss unless I know them well enough, and I think most people are that way. Both men and women.
Don't worry, it's just us-bald guys- that are over concerned about hair-loss. Other people don't give a damn about it, unless you're in the dating scene. Although in in that instance, it's even worse. Not only do most gals not laugh about it(they'd at least acknowledge your presence), but threat you as nonexistent.
uncomfortable man
Senior Member
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I've had too many female eyes suddenly break contact and look the other way when they see me to be mere coincidence.
But I feel you Islander, FWIW I've been trying to explain just this on these boards for years.
When you have hair, you have a visual marker that when people see they can process in an instant that you are normal and no alarm sounds. But without that marker it's like a huge red flag that tells people "look at me, something is off" and they do just that, look.... at... you. If you were to ask any bald guy who would give an honest reply if he catches people starring at him in public then he would gladly divulge to you "only all the time".
Those who don't notice are either not bald enough for it to register or they aren't very perceptive of their surroundings. I've said it before but paranoia is just heightened awareness. It comes from having survival instincts.
But I feel you Islander, FWIW I've been trying to explain just this on these boards for years.
When you have hair, you have a visual marker that when people see they can process in an instant that you are normal and no alarm sounds. But without that marker it's like a huge red flag that tells people "look at me, something is off" and they do just that, look.... at... you. If you were to ask any bald guy who would give an honest reply if he catches people starring at him in public then he would gladly divulge to you "only all the time".
Those who don't notice are either not bald enough for it to register or they aren't very perceptive of their surroundings. I've said it before but paranoia is just heightened awareness. It comes from having survival instincts.
Primo
Experienced Member
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I take your point UCMan about a bald head attracting more looks, although Islander only has some crown thinning not a full blown, slick bald head.
I think like Finasteride and Minoxidil side effects, some of the perceived negative reactions to baldness in public are imagined...
Now before you all bite my head off, I'm not saying it doesn't happen, I know it does myself and I'm only a NW3, I've had shopworkers openly take the p*ss, suggesting I buy a winter hat and I've had female barmaids take my order than look at my hairline with revulsion and disgust.
Sometimes however I think we can get carried away with this though, thinking every person having a laugh in public or grinning to themselves as they walk down the street is having a joke on us... I was in this situation last summer, having lost my job and lost my flat I was suffering from major depression and because my self esteem, confidence and self-worth was total rock bottom, I just assumed EVERYONE in public was laughing at my hairline...
But in reality that person laughing in the street is almost always laughing about something completely diferrent, their own private joke with their friend, likewise the guy walking down the street grinning as he passes you by, is most likely laughing to himself about a joke his friend told the other day (I know I do this myself all the time!)
Yes you will get a sad, pathetic few people who will take the p*ss in public definitely, but at the same time I think it's very easy to get over paranoid (almost delusional in my case) and imagine lots of bad public reactions which aren't actually there, especially if you step out the door with zero self-esteem, thinking you like like a total freak. The mind plays an important part here.
I think like Finasteride and Minoxidil side effects, some of the perceived negative reactions to baldness in public are imagined...
Now before you all bite my head off, I'm not saying it doesn't happen, I know it does myself and I'm only a NW3, I've had shopworkers openly take the p*ss, suggesting I buy a winter hat and I've had female barmaids take my order than look at my hairline with revulsion and disgust.
Sometimes however I think we can get carried away with this though, thinking every person having a laugh in public or grinning to themselves as they walk down the street is having a joke on us... I was in this situation last summer, having lost my job and lost my flat I was suffering from major depression and because my self esteem, confidence and self-worth was total rock bottom, I just assumed EVERYONE in public was laughing at my hairline...
But in reality that person laughing in the street is almost always laughing about something completely diferrent, their own private joke with their friend, likewise the guy walking down the street grinning as he passes you by, is most likely laughing to himself about a joke his friend told the other day (I know I do this myself all the time!)
Yes you will get a sad, pathetic few people who will take the p*ss in public definitely, but at the same time I think it's very easy to get over paranoid (almost delusional in my case) and imagine lots of bad public reactions which aren't actually there, especially if you step out the door with zero self-esteem, thinking you like like a total freak. The mind plays an important part here.
HairPieceMan
Senior Member
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I dont think we are paranoid.
I remember one person linked a bald policeman that was getting a lot of abuse from some drunk guy late on a friday night. the police officer was tall/big and toned so had a lot going for him in the baldness department.
granted the drunk guy was a bit of a ned, but the point still stands that he attacked his baldness pretty much 90% of the time.
it was pretty bad but it shows the world there really is something wrong with a man with no hair.
I remember one case where my niece said to me "your bald" in a negative tone, and she was only 3! they are quik to notice it, it is hardly a suttle image.
it just doesn't look right at all, even school kids (especially female ones) are QUICK to notice it fast.
I remember one person linked a bald policeman that was getting a lot of abuse from some drunk guy late on a friday night. the police officer was tall/big and toned so had a lot going for him in the baldness department.
granted the drunk guy was a bit of a ned, but the point still stands that he attacked his baldness pretty much 90% of the time.
it was pretty bad but it shows the world there really is something wrong with a man with no hair.
I remember one case where my niece said to me "your bald" in a negative tone, and she was only 3! they are quik to notice it, it is hardly a suttle image.
it just doesn't look right at all, even school kids (especially female ones) are QUICK to notice it fast.
Quantum Cat
Senior Member
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if UCman got a very realistic looking hairpiece and went outside, he would still believe that everyone he passes are laughing at him or giving him repulsed looks. He'd simply rationalise it by saying 'they all must know it's a wig!'
it's his paranoia and low self esteem/confidence. Unfortunately if you have that already, then balding just makes it even worse.
uncomfortable man
Senior Member
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- 490
If I did that and felt like i was getting the same kind of responses then that may prove that Telogen Effluvium majority of this is in my head. But I suspect that everyones eyes wlill just pass over me because of the visual marker I would look normal to them . Iwould have to tell mysef everyone already knows its a wig but they dont care because I look so good to counter the inevitable paranoia
A
andrew lincoln
Guest
It really is that simple, lot's of aholes in life you just can't let them drag you down!