Vanilla Sky [2017 Remake] - Affirmative Visibility For The Bald(ing)

herehairhere

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How subjects are depicted within art allows us an honest glimpse into society’s view of them, especially in the case of marginalized or underrepresented populations. The bald & the balding serve, as has been established on this forum, as either evil incarnate or the court jester in the arts.

The Hairloss community has however taken an increasingly proactive stand in defining its own culture with a primary goal of achieving an affirmative visibility in the arts and the mainstream media.

A notable recent example is the Norwood Academy of the Subhumanities, which has commissioned a remake of the 2001 film ‘Vanilla Sky’. The plot will be altered to meet the needs of the campaign of the Hairloss community: instead of David (Tom Cruise) not being able to come to grips with the idea of wearing a mask, he will be a baldcel struggling with the thought of having to wear a wig for the rest of his life.

Just take a look at the famous ‘facial prosthetic’ scene to see the potential for this remake:


In our remake, the abovementioned scene will take place in dr. Tsuji’s Kobe Biomedical Innovation Cluster, where Tom Cruise meets the good doctor in the hope he can restore his hair. Instead of coming up with a viable solution, Tsuji presents him with a wig in a black box. The dialogue will of course have to be altered slightly (see the examples below).

1).
Dr. Tsuji:
We can increase your medication.

Tom Cruise:
Yes. finasteride. (Shakes pill box) Wooo-hooo.

2).
Tom Cruise:
(Looking at the wig in the black box)
A cranial prosthesis?

Dr. Tsuji:
It’s a helpful unit.

Tom Cruise:
Good. Because for a minute there, I thought we were talking about - A f*****g WIG!

Dr. Tsuji:
It’s only a wig if you treat it that way.


Vanilla Sky remake, in theatres spring 2017.
 

Guzam

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How subjects are depicted within art allows us an honest glimpse into society’s view of them, especially in the case of marginalized or underrepresented populations. The bald & the balding serve, as has been established on this forum, as either evil incarnate or the court jester in the arts.

The Hairloss community has however taken an increasingly proactive stand in defining its own culture with a primary goal of achieving an affirmative visibility in the arts and the mainstream media.

A notable recent example is the Norwood Academy of the Subhumanities, which has commissioned a remake of the 2001 film ‘Vanilla Sky’. The plot will be altered to meet the needs of the campaign of the Hairloss community: instead of David (Tom Cruise) not being able to come to grips with the idea of wearing a mask, he will be a baldcel struggling with the thought of having to wear a wig for the rest of his life.

Just take a look at the famous ‘facial prosthetic’ scene to see the potential for this remake:


In our remake, the abovementioned scene will take place in dr. Tsuji’s Kobe Biomedical Innovation Cluster, where Tom Cruise meets the good doctor in the hope he can restore his hair. Instead of coming up with a viable solution, Tsuji presents him with a wig in a black box. The dialogue will of course have to be altered slightly (see the examples below).

1).
Dr. Tsuji:
We can increase your medication.

Tom Cruise:
Yes. finasteride. (Shakes pill box) Wooo-hooo.

2).
Tom Cruise:
(Looking at the wig in the black box)
A cranial prosthesis?

Dr. Tsuji:
It’s a helpful unit.

Tom Cruise:
Good. Because for a minute there, I thought we were talking about - A f*****g WIG!

Dr. Tsuji:
It’s only a wig if you treat it that way.


Vanilla Sky remake, in theatres spring 2017.

My God this is perfect
 

blackg

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Could you say that Tom Cruise's hairstyle in the original Vanilla Sky was largely responsible for the 2000's straight hair and bangs look that persisted for the whole decade and slightly beyond?

A style now superseded by the ubiquitous "lesbian pompadour" hair style that is now everywhere.
 
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FootyStar

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This style now superseded by the ubiquitous "lesbian pompadour" hair style that is now everywhere.

It's like everyone is going out of their way to show off their hairlines nowadays with the pompadour. As if to say "Look! My hairline is nice and thick - no thinning or recession here!"
 

shookwun

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Under appreciated post.


I can't think of anything more hilarious then this being the reality of the cure that everyone's waiting for.


Dr. Tsujii presents a platinum edition prosthesis after years of development.


@nameless will finally be able to slay again.
 

Raz

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Well done OP, hilarious and well written
 
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