THX 1138: A Utopic Dystopia

[Guest]

I watched THX 1138 a couple nights ago, and the main thought I came away with was: Man, a world where everyone--both men and women--are forced to shave their heads. There is a limit to how bad this world could be. Sure, you're forced to live with someone you have no connection to; you're forced to construct uranium-powered evil police robots all day; you're forced to take pills that keep you in a sexless waking coma all day; you're forced to wear white pajamas all the time; you're forced to live in a giant cement rat maze; but EVERYone is bald. No such thing as male pattern baldness when everyone has it.

OK. That's my uplifting thought for the day. It could happen. We could become shaved pawns of an evil communist society intent on our mental destruction. And Hair Club for Men would go bankrupt in TWO minutes. What's so evil about that?

 

[Guest]

I'm in.

 

[The Gardener]

God, how I hated that movie.

 

[Guest]

Cant we have a Star Wars utopian world where I have hair like Chewbacca, pilot the Millenium Falcon and get to f*** the Princess?

 

[jason566]

Id ratherbe Anakin before the being dumped in the lava pit..

 

[Guest]

Id ratherbe Anakin before the being dumped in the lava pit..

But Chewie gets all the good lines and also gets to walk naked everywhere.

 

[Temples]

If I got to buttfuck Queen Amidala, my life would be complete.

 

[The Gardener]

Yeah, brotha! And don't forget to spank her *** a few times while you are doing it... give the hair a few tugs too!

 

[blue]

im sorry but women need hair......i bet one day though..we will live in a society where women can have shaved heads and men think nother of it.

 

[Guest]

im sorry but women need hair......i bet one day though..we will live in a society where women can have shaved heads and men think nother of it.

Like Yul Brynner world.

 

[21gone]

Blue how is the preparation h coming along?

 

[pleasehelpme]

lol damn nate youre too into this hairloss sh*t! relax lol.

and i feel you man.. women need hair.. hairloss is a misfortunate happening for anyone but it's a lot worse for women

 

[blue]

21gone...its working pretty good...my *** is now inflammation free.....no burning or disasterous shits...unless i eat taco bell or anything else that looks like sh*t even before i eat it

 

[The Gardener]

A strategically placed fart can be a great thing.

Personally, I enjoy laying down a silent killer whilst in the elevator on the way up to my office. You have to stand RIGHT in front of the doors, and then TURN AROUND 180 degrees to face the other occupants as if you are looking for someone to start a conversation with. In this position, the emitted fumes are ventilated by the draft coming up through the cracks in the closed elevator doors, effectively masking the identity of the offender. The delivery position also maximizes the view of the other occupants' reactions... watching them dart their eyes around, etc. Then, I just find someone aboard whom I wish to discredit, and just stare at him in a knowingly, yet dissaprovingly sort of way. Since I'm in front of the door, and everyone is looking at me, they usually turn to face the person whom I have 'highlighted' with my knowing stare.

Another tactic is to lay down a killer in the coffee room. It comes in handy after I make a pot of the 'good' coffee and want to make sure nobody comes in to drink it before I return to see the completion of the brewing. I call this a 'personnel supression' fart.

Just a few free business tips from the Gardener. Hey, sometimes you gotta be ruthless, and you'll never see sh*t this rich on 'The Apprentice' or any other novice program.

 

[blue]

speaking of farting......my personal fav...giving your girl that gift that keeps on giving...and we all know thats a Dutch Oven

 

[Bryan]

Personally, I enjoy laying down a silent killer whilst in the elevator on the way up to my office.

Damn...we've read so many of Ty's posts, we're all starting to TALK like him!

You have to stand RIGHT in front of the doors, and then TURN AROUND 180 degrees to face the other occupants as if you are looking for someone to start a conversation with. In this position, the emitted fumes are ventilated by the draft coming up through the cracks in the closed elevator doors, effectively masking the identity of the offender. The delivery position also maximizes the view of the other occupants' reactions... watching them dart their eyes around, etc. Then, I just find someone aboard whom I wish to discredit, and just stare at him in a knowingly, yet dissaprovingly sort of way. Since I'm in front of the door, and everyone is looking at me, they usually turn to face the person whom I have 'highlighted' with my knowing stare.

Great post! I laughed so hard while reading this, I was crying!

Bryan

 

[Temples]

Nate, it is because of this thread I'm going Q-Ball.

 

[Guest]

Temples: should I feel honored or shamed?

 

[Cassin]

I for one welcome our silver pole carrying that make men go "OHHHHHHHH" overlords.

 

[Guest]

Damn...we've read so many of Ty's posts, we're all starting to TALK like him!

Bryan, you hurt me, don't make me show them the PM you sent me.