whymewhynow
Member
- Reaction score
- -1
I feel happiest in the days after a haircut (i get it cut short), i know my hair doesn't "move", I can jump into the sea with no fears, I come out looking the same in water as not in water. When I go have a shower I barely look into the mirror drying myself, I know what my head looks like, there is no such thing as a bad hair day.
When my hair starts growing again then the insecurities reappear. I'm constantly looking for reflective surfaces. When i go to the mall I have to go the toilet first, to check my hair. I avoid water AT ALL COSTS. Windy, rainy days are the worst, they are NEVER good days for me.
I remember back in the days before hair loss , some days were "bad", it seemed to be the hair causing those negative feelings, they call it "bad hair days" for a reason...So if all days are "bad hair days" now there is no escape from the cave of darkness.
Hair is my enemy. What a paradox.I said before I envy bald men for this reason. They seem to "happy" and serene. I had a dream I was a bald man once (a few weeks ago), I seemed happy in it.
I tried to live a day as a "bald man". I shaved my hair as low as it could go. For many weeks people treated my differently, I was untrusted... if you know what I mean, skinhead, "evil doer" , "gang member" ,"unfriendly",..... I both envy and "fear" bald men, we all do. It would suck to be held hostage to an identity you can't choose.
There is one more reason why I fight hair loss so strongly. If a cure comes it will likely be preventative, no drug no matter how powerful at stopping the hair loss process can bring back DEAD hair follicles. An Nw7 would literally need a 100,000 hair follicle transplant,do you know how expensive that would be? especially in the early stages of hair cloning. Say it takes 10 more years to develop a cloning process, then it would take many more years for it to be widely available and cheap enough...Then you factor in the scale, the more balder you are the more monumental the restoration task. A fully bald man alive today will never get his hair back. But If I keep what hair i have now then in the future I can just get a "top up", maybe a few thousand hairs cheap enough....
When my hair starts growing again then the insecurities reappear. I'm constantly looking for reflective surfaces. When i go to the mall I have to go the toilet first, to check my hair. I avoid water AT ALL COSTS. Windy, rainy days are the worst, they are NEVER good days for me.
I remember back in the days before hair loss , some days were "bad", it seemed to be the hair causing those negative feelings, they call it "bad hair days" for a reason...So if all days are "bad hair days" now there is no escape from the cave of darkness.
Hair is my enemy. What a paradox.I said before I envy bald men for this reason. They seem to "happy" and serene. I had a dream I was a bald man once (a few weeks ago), I seemed happy in it.
I tried to live a day as a "bald man". I shaved my hair as low as it could go. For many weeks people treated my differently, I was untrusted... if you know what I mean, skinhead, "evil doer" , "gang member" ,"unfriendly",..... I both envy and "fear" bald men, we all do. It would suck to be held hostage to an identity you can't choose.
There is one more reason why I fight hair loss so strongly. If a cure comes it will likely be preventative, no drug no matter how powerful at stopping the hair loss process can bring back DEAD hair follicles. An Nw7 would literally need a 100,000 hair follicle transplant,do you know how expensive that would be? especially in the early stages of hair cloning. Say it takes 10 more years to develop a cloning process, then it would take many more years for it to be widely available and cheap enough...Then you factor in the scale, the more balder you are the more monumental the restoration task. A fully bald man alive today will never get his hair back. But If I keep what hair i have now then in the future I can just get a "top up", maybe a few thousand hairs cheap enough....
