Tell me about American culture.

[pinoyas]

Hi. I am Pinoyas from Japan and live now in North America for one year. Being bald in Japan is miserable(I can elaborate on this if you want), but I thougt in America things would be different, because even if you are bald you look and seem confident. Even though you guys are bald, you behave as if you don't care about such a thing too much. Actually, "baldies" around me in America appear confident, talkative, even aggressive and dating girls. This is my previous thought about people being bald in America.
Then, I found this forum and got surprised a lot by the fact that you guys are really depressed as much as people in Japan, like "Girls never love bald men, even hate them" stuffs and feel helpless. hopeless, and lost confidence....
I kind of laughed because you guys are discussing exactly the same things as Japanese are doing on line! And I realized that even Americans who look confident outside are suffering for losing confidence inside....

So, as a bald man who feels less and less cofident inside, I have a question. Are you guys trying to act confident intesionally? Is it American culture that even if you are not confident you have to look confident? Do man have to represent himself as confident even when it is a big lie?
This is not limited to baldies in general. Comparing to Japanese people, almost all Americans seem more confident. Some might feel really confident but the others might not feel confient in reality but pretend to be confident. And this is very important thing in America.

If my observation is true, I am gonna make believe to look confident.
I think I missed some gilrs because I behave "honestly,": when I am not confident,I behave less confident... This might be Japanese convention, but I have to adjust myself to American convention.
Am I right? Tell me please. :roll:

 

[ShedMaster]

thanks for the post, welcome to the board.

I think the main reason you see so many on here posting about their misery with hairloss is because the ones who do not, don't post about it on here. This is simply a collection of those who do and the ones who happen to be most vocal post about it.

 

[Wezz]

dont know much about american culture much but being japaneese and bald must suck since all the japaneese people i know have the hair i cannot even dream about. also nakata is also baldie, aint he ?

 

[JayB]

american culture probably emphasizes physical appearance more than any other country in the world. People idolize celebrities and their only aspiration is to appear "as beautiful" as what is genetically impossible. Hence our rates of depression, anxiety, eating disorders, OCD, plastic surgery, are probably higher than another other countries.

There is constant pressure to be better looking than the next guy and women expect it out of their men. One again, this is a generalization but it is mostly true. There are always exceptions, but being young in america today means Pressure to perform on every level, socially, economically, appearance wise etc..


sorry man if you thought america was a bald mans paradise..you could not be further from the truth, at least if youre a young man.

 

[ash900]

hey

interesting post! thanks

I've often wondered about the differences in cultures.

Asian cultures seem very different in a lot of ways.

I think you should act confident, even if you don't feel confident.

If you act confident, inside you will feel confident.

There will be times when you think its futile and that you should act "honest"
but hang in there...

It sucks losing your hair. I thing I hate about society is that it seems that society accepts that men lose hair, and push them to just accept it.

But if the same thing happens to woman, it isn't acceptable.
Women wear wigs, etc...

 

[soccerguy11]

In response to your question, yes, even if youre not confident, do anything you can to show that you are, its the american dream.

 

[Armando Jose]

In order to be more confident, is important to know tha common baldness is not a mortal disease as others diseases.

Can you elaborate "Being bald in Japan is miserable"?

By the way, in Japan there is women with hair loss? In the same rate of European countries?

Armando

 

[CCS]

funny. when i read the author's post, I thought axon or one of the others who say we should be confident was possing in disguise. Omiting "a" from a few sentences made the author more believable in places, but he used it correctly in other places. I have heard that Japanese are more likely to hang their head low when they know they have shown "dishonor", rather than blow off the family that accused then and start their own life like americans do. So perhaps he is from japan.

I think people who have a good body or hair or money can do pretty decently with the ladies. The guys on here who say hair loss is no big deal are the ones who built up their body and carear and are compensating and therefore not hit so hard with the ladies. The guys on here who complain about their impossible chances with women are the ones who lack a near perfect body or lack finances. They know that if they had hair, the hair would compensate for their short comings, and they could still do average. My finances are low because I'm still in college, and my hair is not my biggest physical flaw; I have big moles on my back that are expensive to remove. I'm also short. Any of these flaws by itself or even in a pair would stop me from getting dates, but all together, they add up. I focus on my hair because it is the one thing that was taken from me genetically. I'll have finances in 2 years, when I graduate, and I'll pay for mole removal then. Until then I think I'll just have to make do going on desert hikes and looking at the pretty cacti. As for the rest of you, if your hair is your only big flaw, you should just be confident and keep it short.

 

[hairwegoagain]

College,

I can tell that you put a lot of thought into your posts, and I'm wondering how you have the time to be so prolific. You've contributed some good material to the forum in a very short period of time, but I must take issue with some of your general rationale.

You can't boil the subject of dating down to finites. I can tell that you're a very logical, intelligent guy - but you simply can't apply an algorithm to the subject...dating is not a computer program with IF THEN statements (do those even exist now LOL?). I've noticed that you do this and frankly I think you're doing yourself a disservice. I read a lot of IF you have money THEN you can get a girl. IF you don't have money BUT you have a toned body THEN you can get a girl. IF you have hairloss BUT you don't have money AND you have a toned body maybe you can get a girl. IF you have hairloss, a shitty body, and are broke then you can get a 300lb girl....Blah blah blah. Irrelevant.

The fact is, no guy can have any girl he pleases whether he has hair, a toned body, smarts, money, or none of these. You could be all the things you point out and you will still get rejected by someone. That's just a fact of life. The opposite is also true. Have you ever heard the saying, "for every beautiful woman there's a guy who's sick of f*****g her"? My friend, that is very true. The big physical attraction lasts only so long...that's why it's important to have life values in common with potential mates.

In today's Hollywood society, I understand why you believe the things you do...but I am here to tell you that you can cut your own road, and find dates that are to your liking. Maybe you're looking in the wrong places like many guys do. You know, you are not confined to online dating. There's always the old-fashioned way. Go where the girls are. Moreover, go where the girls that YOU find attractive (I"m not just talking physically) are. Maybe that's a special interest political group, a volunteer group, a trade association, a church group, etc... but it's almost always NOT a bar or club.

Also, make sure your own behavior is in check. Spraying minoxidil on your head in front of customers probably isn't doing you much good. Just guessing here. Being cocky about showing up late to work on a daily basis may work now, but I 100% guarantee you that it will be detrimental later down the line. You might want to ween yourself from that habit sooner than later. Be able to talk about a range of subjects when speaking with girls...and with everyone else. Make eye contact and smile. Try not to be a know-it-all. Don't monopolize the conversation. Show a genuine interest in the other person.

OK - so why don't you map out your current method of approaching a woman...in your characteristically detailed way...and we can all discuss things and try to help everyone who's interested.

I'm going to go eat a ton of pizza so I can gain another pound, taking away from the 6-pack abs that I've never had.







Also, you are not confined to meeting girls online...you might try the old-fashioned way.

 

[CCS]

I'm aware that the best looking guy on the plannet can't have any woman he wants. But if he asks 100 hot women, at least 1, and probably 10 or more, will say yes. And if the guy I think looks the worst asks the 100 women I think look the best, and he does not have polio but looks like he chose to look that way, I'd bet money all 100 would not have sex with him. But I'd not bet him the money because I don't want him offering the women 75% of my bet.

I don't mind repelling my 7-Eleven customers because most of them smoke and drink too much. But you are right that this is bad since some may tell their non-smoking friends about me.

I'm also aware that I probably can't ask my boss for a rec letter now. He is keeping me only because I'm the best he can get for $7/hour. I will change my habbits, just incase a future employer calls him. But I'm throwing most of my effort at impressing my chemical engineering professor I'm volunteering for.

When I'm in line with a woman at the grocery store, or looking at the same shelf, I'll usually make some comment about one of the items and see if she responds. Or I'll make a comment about anything around us or in the news or something I think is comment worthy. Usually that will start a short conversation and I'll turn it more personal by asking her if she is a student at the university. Then I might ask her what she is up to this summer, and will listen for any common ground. I normally don't leave this ball park. After taking a minute of her time, or 5 minutes in line, I ask her for her email address or number. Usually I'll see her in line later anyway, so the conversation continues there. I've done that 5 times and was turned down. I also tried walking up to 30 women at different times and telling them I thought they are pretty and that I'd like to date them and find out if we have anything in common. Some blushed and some said they were complimented, but most said they had boyfriends, or just turned me down. I also asked out 4 of my female friends, and they all said they just wanted to be friends. One woman was so flattered that I liked her that she went to dinner with me, but then when I was so excited she explained that she was just too flattered to say no, but did not want to date me. She said I have the qualities she looks for in a friend, but not the qualities she looks for in a boyfriend. I asked a female coworker if my hair matters for dating, and she said, "no. it does not matter what you look like." I asked a class mate whom, I met for coffee because I thought she was a different classmate, why she thought I might be having trouble with women, after we'd been talking for 20 minutes (I was not attracted to her, but we just had conversation anyway. she had a boyfriend). She said that my hair was probably not the reason. She thought my height was the reason. I'm 5'8" and the woman we were talking about was 6'1". I later learned that the tall woman's ex ws 5'8" and so was one of the guys she had sex with for 4 months. She told me her new cut off is 5'9", which I know is BS. She won't tell me the real reason even after 3 years of hanging out.

 

[hairhaircomeagain]

Haha...pinoyas....these forums sometimes give a wrong idea.

All math below is approximate.

You are seeing a very very small population here. How many users does this forum have ...12000-13000. Lets assume there are 4 more such forums...there may be more ...but that can be corrected by the fact that many people sign up in different forums...

So say there are are 60,000 people like me in the forums who are worried and feel dejected because of hairloss...

Now see the other side....Stats say that 50% of the men bald by 50.


America's population: 300 Million
Men: say 50%: 150 million

50% are affected by 50: 75 million.

Lets say only young people below 30 are worried about hairloss ( not true though )....Lets say only 1% out of the 50% above start balding before 30..

that is 750,000...

ok maybe I am little wrong...there may be more people who are paranoid about hairloss who never visit forums...still is a large population of balding people who dont care...

In the place where I work there are many young people ( under 30 ) balding...I can put it 1 out of 20 ( yeah true ).....They dont give a f*** about it...they are confident, loud, have friends, girlfriends and everything...

all that said, I am still worried...very very worried...very very very worried