I am a better person now than I was when I had a full head of hair.

[W_James]

When I was in high school I was a nerdy, lanky guy who mostly just liked to play video games. In spite of that I was able to get with 6 girls, although it took some effort and most of them were nothing to brag about. One was a solid 7, the rest were butter faces or overweight, but I didn't mind.

In college I started working out a lot, and became much more social. Even though I approached far more women than I did in high school, I was only able to get 3 obese chicks.

Ever since I graduated uni I have been financially independent, have experienced far more, became even more social, traveled to 7 different countries, lived abroad for a year, stopped playing video games altogether and have generally become far more interesting due to all of my experiences. I've approached many women and all I was able to get since uni was one middle aged obese woman with a kid and she just used me for money and to have a father for her son that I took no part in making. So even though I have gotten better in every single way except my looks and have been putting myself out there far more, my ability to get women has reached zero. They liked be far more when I was a NW1 lanky nerd who played video games. To me that speaks miles about how important hair and looks are to women and how much they honestly care about a man's personality or being interesting.

 

[ghg]

I'm a better person too for hairloss. I'm much more outgoing, outspoken and (believe it or not) even less insecure. I often feel that I have nothing to lose so what the ****, I'll just clown around here then. The less insecure part is probably down to just aging and not because of hairloss... I bet I'd be even better off in that department if I had hair. Anyway, looking like a convict with a #0 buzzed head and my rough overall features doesn't help in meeting new ppl. Some older folks even seem intimidated by my looks. I didn't want to be the skinny bald guy so I've put on some muscle, I'm not huge but I'm pretty "ripped", that doesn't help either. It's a total ****ing catch 22 for us baldies who just don't suit the look naturally.

 

[BigSteel]

More likely to have changed is your likeliness to encounter women and not girls.

Women are attracted to men.

Men do not tie their identity to depreciating assets or material gain. Those who do are guaranteeing themselves an unfulfilled life of misery. Much as is the case with girls who tie their self-worth to their physical appearance. It's like gambling in a casino. No matter how lucky you are, the House eventually wins. Everyone is best off building and nurturing aspects of themselves that defy age - that mature with it.

That you would openly objectify the girls you have slept with as "nothing to brag about", "butter faces, "overweight", "a solid 7" and "middle aged obese" and then be appalled to receive the same treatment is simply a reflection of the worldview you project; not to mention powerfully ironic. People are very perceptive and while you may not openly say what you've written here to them, the general attitude that you carry will come across no matter how much you try to mask it with smiles, muscles, posture, style, wit, charm and grace.

You get out of life what you put into it. And right now that seems to be a lot of superficiality and resentment.

 

[W_James]

That you would openly objectify the girls you have slept with as "nothing to brag about", "butter faces, "overweight", "a solid 7" and "middle aged obese"

If that's "objectifying" then everyone on earth is guilty of doing that. Even if you don't vocalize it, you'll notice if someone is overweight. Nobody ever complains when women do the same thing to men though. Even other men get on men about making observations about a woman's looks though.

and then be appalled to receive the same treatment is simply a reflection of the worldview you project; not to mention powerfully ironic.

But I DON'T RECEIVE THE SAME TREATMENT. They key difference is I am clearly willing to give women a chance even if they are not conventionally physically attractive, that's the whole point. They're not willing to give me a chance though. I wouldn't complain if they looked at me as "bald" but still gave me a chance, just like I give women who are not conventionally attractive a chance.

 

[swingline747]

That you would openly objectify the girls you have slept with as "nothing to brag about", "butter faces, "overweight", "a solid 7" and "middle aged obese" and then be appalled to receive the same treatment is simply a reflection of the worldview you project; not to mention powerfully ironic. People are very perceptive and while you may not openly say what you've written here to them, the general attitude that you carry will come across no matter how much you try to mask it with smiles, muscles, posture, style, wit, charm and grace.

.

Liberal Hippie!




j/k

It was just to hard to resist

Anyway Im in such a pickle because When I met my GF I had a full head of nice hair. She is older than me by 10 years. She was amazingly hot when we met, like super hot BUT actually so was I. I actually had opportunities to model. We have been together for like 8 years. She has gained SOOOOOO much weight. I honestly believe she feels she can let herself go because I lost my hair. Ive tried to talk to her about her weight but she just gets nasty or makes fake promises. I finally stopped having sex with her and its literally been like over a year and I openly say I wont have sex with her because I just dont find her attractive.
I would just leave her but we bought a damn house and she does not want to break off the relationship (I have told her I want out) so we cant sell the house. Im not leaving the money behind. I could use that to invest in other things like flipping homes (I have rentals). If I cant have my looks maybe I can make money and just get girls that way.

I still go to the gym 3-4 days a week, diet and run. I am in great shape but honestly feel this is all I deserve because of my looks. Like fate has destined me to now be in a stress filled, sexless, desire-less, relationship with only fat women.

Honestly between having a fat old GF and losing my hair Im borderline manic and my self esteem is garbage.

As a test a few months back me and my younger (only 2 years) brother went to some bars. We have literally almost the same face, I am way better built, MUCH better personality, and make much more money. Girls didn't care, they went straight to him since he has the perfect head of hair, mine was shaved off at the time.

You can say "ohhhhh those are girls, not women" but seriously Im 33 hes 31, we should be looking for "girls". Neither of us want to be married. We didnt have the best upbringing and personally despise the thought of marriage and kids. Sucks though because he can still pull them in and have fun, yet I fell I will be forced to either deal with unattractive lays and relationships or HAVE to marry some chick down the line.

You can say "ohhh its self confidence" but if you saw me in public you would never know my issues. I suffer from depression and have become very good at hiding it.

all in all this is ruining my life.

 

[VeprSuper]

I don't think it's the hair. You lads are just growing older and wiser.

 

[DannyBoyy]

Liberal Hippie!




j/k

It was just to hard to resist

Anyway Im in such a pickle because When I met my GF I had a full head of nice hair. She is older than me by 10 years. She was amazingly hot when we met, like super hot BUT actually so was I. I actually had opportunities to model. We have been together for like 8 years. She has gained SOOOOOO much weight. I honestly believe she feels she can let herself go because I lost my hair. Ive tried to talk to her about her weight but she just gets nasty or makes fake promises. I finally stopped having sex with her and its literally been like over a year and I openly say I wont have sex with her because I just dont find her attractive.
I would just leave her but we bought a damn house and she does not want to break off the relationship (I have told her I want out) so we cant sell the house. Im not leaving the money behind. I could use that to invest in other things like flipping homes (I have rentals). If I cant have my looks maybe I can make money and just get girls that way.

I still go to the gym 3-4 days a week, diet and run. I am in great shape but honestly feel this is all I deserve because of my looks. Like fate has destined me to now be in a stress filled, sexless, desire-less, relationship with only fat women.

Honestly between having a fat old GF and losing my hair Im borderline manic and my self esteem is garbage.

As a test a few months back me and my younger (only 2 years) brother went to some bars. We have literally almost the same face, I am way better built, MUCH better personality, and make much more money. Girls didn't care, they went straight to him since he has the perfect head of hair, mine was shaved off at the time.

You can say "ohhhhh those are girls, not women" but seriously Im 33 hes 31, we should be looking for "girls". Neither of us want to be married. We didnt have the best upbringing and personally despise the thought of marriage and kids. Sucks though because he can still pull them in and have fun, yet I fell I will be forced to either deal with unattractive lays and relationships or HAVE to marry some chick down the line.

You can say "ohhh its self confidence" but if you saw me in public you would never know my issues. I suffer from depression and have become very good at hiding it.

all in all this is ruining my life.

If you dont find your girlfriend "attractive" (i dont mean physical) now you never did all this says to me that you only used her for sex soon as she put on some weight you wanted her gone thats not love thats being vain and pathetic and not how a relationship should be like in my opinion.

 

[swingline747]

we are all vain. I wasn't using her for just sex. We both liked a lot of the same stuff originally. But honestly her weight keeps her from wanting to go to the beach, which I love, or just going out. I have a ZERO social life now. She claims its because she is tired form work but honestly if you were in better shape you might not always be so "tired?". I know its that she does not like her appearance either. But not for much I really dont want to be seen in public social places anymore with ehr because again it affect my self esteem.
I am in great shape and work out constantly. I believe I should have a mate who does the same. Im young and like sex, I am not aroused by over weight women sorry. I am sure she can find someone very nice after but if
1) Im not physically attracted anymore
2) she isnt willing to try to make me happy
then she is as guilty as me. Isnt asking someone to look past what they like and accept "this" being a bit vain and selfish as well.

Also the accusation of vanity from someone who has a body building avatar, does not seem authentic, no offense; just sayin.

 

[DannyBoyy]

You dont get what i mean when you in a relationship its more then just sex and physical attraction if you just want that then order a prostitute or one night stands something sad like that...when you in a relationship its more then that you dont leave someone for just putting on weight what if you was married to her would you of still left her?...this just tells me you just wanted her for sex other wise you would look past the weight (unless its unhealthy but i bet it wasnt) and try and work things out...but again its just my opinion i maybe wrong.

And its not a bodybuilding pic it was of some birthday site...and the reason for my avatar is because he looked cool with the suit and glasses and obviously bald i also wanted a cartoon character...i couldnt give a rats arse if he had muscles or not if i did i would of had a pic where you could see the muscles im anything but vain.

 

[swingline747]

You dont get what i mean when you in a relationship its more then just sex and physical attraction if you just want that then order a prostitute or one night stands something sad like that...when you in a relationship its more then that you dont leave someone for just putting on weight what if you was married to her would you of still left her?...this just tells me you just wanted her for sex other wise you would look past the weight (unless its unhealthy but i bet it wasnt) and try and work things out...but again its just my opinion i maybe wrong.

And its not a bodybuilding pic it was of some birthday site...and the reason for my avatar is because he looked cool with the suit and glasses and obviously bald i also wanted a cartoon character...i couldnt give a rats arse if he had muscles or not if i did i would of had a pic where you could see the muscles im anything but vain.

Okay so hypothetically you're with a girl
You love her, but eventually she is not attractive. As stated we are 10 years apart and I still have a good and active sex drive. She does to (because thats how women work) BUT I no longer feel any arousal towards her. Is that my own fault? Should I then give up my sexual desires? I would not have spent 8 years if it was only about sex. I would not have spent any time at all since when I met her I had a good head of hair and lots of interested females. Sex is a HUGE part of a relationship. HUGE!

Also the marriage thing doesn't count with me because I dont look to be married.

 

[DannyBoyy]

Okay so hypothetically you're with a girl
You love her, but eventually she is not attractive. As stated we are 10 years apart and I still have a good and active sex drive. She does to (because thats how women work) BUT I no longer feel any arousal towards her. Is that my own fault? Should I then give up my sexual desires? I would not have spent 8 years if it was only about sex. I would not have spent any time at all since when I met her I had a good head of hair and lots of interested females. Sex is a HUGE part of a relationship. HUGE!

Also the marriage thing doesn't count with me because I dont look to be married.

So her body was the ONLY thing you was attracted to after 8 years being together? thank god you wasnt married...if it was me it wouldnt just be her body i be attracted to and what i think makes her sexy.

 

[swingline747]

So her body was the ONLY thing you was attracted to after 8 years being together? thank god you wasnt married...if it was me it wouldnt just be her body i be attracted to and what i think makes her sexy.

and, does that make you a better person than me???? I like brussel sprouts, maybe you dont. I dont really get your point in all this. Simple fact is we all like different things. Plus if you read my other response you would see I said her weight is affecting other areas of the relationship as well.
As a man and a human you can only take so much, if she plans on keeping someone 10 years younger she better be appealing. Just as if a guy ten years older wants to keep a younger girl he better be successful, its how society works.

 

[DannyBoyy]

and, does that make you a better person than me???? I like brussel sprouts, maybe you dont. I dont really get your point in all this. Simple fact is we all like different things. Plus if you read my other response you would see I said her weight is affecting other areas of the relationship as well.
As a man and a human you can only take so much, if she plans on keeping someone 10 years younger she better be appealing. Just as if a guy ten years older wants to keep a younger girl he better be successful, its how society works.

Like i said dude my opinion...but after 8 years i would hope i had more things going on in the relationship then that she just has a "nice figure"...and would try to make the relationship work cause i loved her and help her through any problems we both have...again just my opinion.

 

[swingline747]

Like i said dude my opinion...but after 8 years i would hope i had more things going on in the relationship then that she just has a nice figure...and would try to make the relationship work cause i loved her and help her through any problems we both have...again just my opinion.

I get ya but like I said when we talk about this stuff she just gets nasty or makes excuses and false promises. There is of course more personal stuff I wont mention but her weight is a huge factor to me.

 

[uncomfortable man]

its how society works.

That's just the thing, social convention is always a constant influence. If this were a different time and place in history, your preferences would be dictated by a different set of social standards.