hairloss effecting self worth

[hidamba]

Hi..my names raj..so..7 years ago,the woman i loved broke up with me..i was 18 then..It was hard.and there were other family,personal issues i was dealing with at that time...had to go to a therapist...continued therapy fora long time...the stress and the meds and everything resulted in me losing my hair gradually....so my life went from bad to worse...the most effective way of forgetting someone is to start dating again...but my hairloss killed my confidence and my self esteem..i was always a bit shy and nice..and hairloss didnt help..the other thing is this girl, i see her now and then with different guys..shes turned into a bit of a player and guys she has been with talk nasty stuff about her...how big a s***t she is and all..i come from a small town so i hear things...this stuff kills me....so she's enjoying life ...and im nowhere..havent had a meaningful relationship for the past 5 years....the most hurtful thing is when people treat me different and they look at me and my head and they sort of give that "Oh NO" look and they get embarrased about my hairloss!!!people talk about confidence but whenever i try to be brave,people around me bring me down with their rude comments..thinking its ok to make fun of my hairloss...girls are the worst...i have asked a couple of them out and...they literaly have turned and walked off..dismissed me without saying a word..the irony is that before losing my hair,i never judged a person by the colour of his skin,or his/her physical traits...i used to tell my frens not to be rude to people based on their physical appearance..attraction is diferent...girls dont have to be attracted to me..thats their choice..but respect and dignity are something that i truely value..why do people treat me like i have lost my self worth..they tend to de-value me...like i am damaged or something..like bald people are not capable of love..and like we dont deserve love and affetion...and seeing my ex enjoying life and me stuck and not even socialising nor dating...i used to enjoy flirting with girls...i feel asexual now....the treatment i get from other people is affecting how i view my self as a man,and a human being.....