Depression, Propecia, and I

Auton

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Hey, This is my first post here and really the first time in my life I openly discuss my hairloss with anyone besides my doctor. I'll tell you a few important things about myself to get this story started.

I'm about to turn 29 years old and I detected my hairloss at a week or two before my 27th birthday. I've always been known for having ridiculously thick hair, my scalp was elusive to the observer and it's been that way since I was a kid. My father didn't start losing his hair until he was in his 40s and it never went beyond a Norwood 3-4 and he died at the age of 77. His brothers though, had a variety of male pattern baldness, their kids (my cousins) all started losing their hair in their early 20s. The fact that I managed to have such thick hair by 27 made me feel infallible, like it was the one good thing I was blessed with and that I was spared those genes (there is no mob on my mom's side of the family).

2 weeks before my 27 birthday I started to lose a lot of hair (I would say 30-40% of hair from all over the top part of the scalp was lost in this period) and notice that I could see parts of my scalp through the hairline that I never saw before. I had a blood work done and turned out I was severely vitamin D deficient which was causing me a a variety of other symptoms. My conclusion at the time was Telogen effluvium (Telogen Effluvium) and it took me another 3 months to realize the reality that this was also the start male pattern baldness. I was panicking to be honest and my ego took a major hit, I started to see things in my hair that I never saw. I began to compare old photos with recent ones like a detective, trying to piece together when it all really began. Psychologically it was the beginning of a lot of break downs but I didn't know that at the time.

I did my research, and started propecia on October 3rd 2012. I know that date because it was a weekend and a few days later on the 7th, my father died. Without going into detail, I will say that I never had a good relationship with my father, it was always a source of trauma for me and I spend the majority of my adult life running away from it and him. When he died, there was some sense of relief that I might not have to run away anymore but also the tragedy that it was unresolved, and worse that it had to be resolved if I were to move on with my life.

In the background propecia and the vitamin D supplements did their work, the hair loss completely stopped, I gained more than half of the hair I lost from the top part of the scalp within 6-9 months. My hair line which at this point was a Norwood 1-ish never really recovered to its pre-27 days.

As far as I knew at the time, I had no side effects from propecia. Granted my desire for sex was slightly reduced but I could maintain an erection and I could still ejaculate 2-4 times a day if I wanted. I occasionally experienced some brain fog in the first few months but either they resolved themselves within the first 3 months or I stopping noticing them.

A few months after my dad passed away, the company I was working in went under and we all lost our job then. I had enough money saved up so I knew I could weather the coming months looking for a job. What I didn't realize was something far more sinister was happening to me.

I won't say that I developed depression on propecia because that is unfair considering the hits my life has taken in the last 2 years, but over the course of the last 18-20 months I began to become moderately depressed which evolved into a severe depression over the last 3 months. I withdrew socially completely, my libido does not exist anymore (not to be confused with erectile dysfunction), suicidal thoughts suddenly became an option in my head - it's been a very dark 3 months as I try to make sense of it all. I began seeing a therapist and have been prescribed wellbutrin 300mg for now. I feel better but still unfit to socialize or pursue a job - if you've ever experienced a major depressive episode you will understand this.

Back to hair loss, I'm still on propecia and recently I began to suspect if propecia is pushing me further down the spiral of depression, or this was all a coincidence and I happened to start propecia at a time coinciding with these major life events that happened one after the other. The fact is, especially now after therapy and in hindsight, I was probably already depressed for a year before starting propecia but it was mild enough that I could just self-medicate with alcohol and recreational drugs, and just ignore it. It didn't take a turn to the worst until last summer and reach the lowest point which is this spring. If propecia is indeed an accomplice in this depression, I fear that if I stop taking it it will make me more depressed (it might considering how I reacted when it first started falling out).

I'm still a norwood 1.5ish, propecia has maintained the hairline almost completely, there has been some regrowth but mostly it just kept what I got. The hair on the sides near the temple slightly receded but only enough for me to notice. I'm unsure if I should keep taking propecia considering my depression and I'm unsure if propecia is even behind my depression. Maybe you guys can help me decide.

Thank you for your time.
 
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