Your Hair Loss Is Not The Problem - The Way You Think Is!

IronLionZion

New Member
Reaction score
0
I'm a 27-year-old guy who has been losing hair slowly for many years. It's at the point now where it's fairly noticeable and I need to either do something to maintain my hair or shave it off.

Obviously, this worries me. I'd rather have hair than no hair.

But jesus ... reading the posts on this forum is downright bizarre. People routinely throw around words like "panic", "dark thoughts", and extreme "pain." They talk about being afraid to leave the house, blame their hair loss for failed relationships, poor luck dating, and a seemingly endless parade of other issues. They dedicate hours and hours to posting here, focusing on their hair loss problem.

It's a self-reinforcing phenomena on the boards. Things that are downright ridiculous become normal, and accepted - it's okay to talk about being afraid to leave your house, or avoiding social situations, because of male pattern baldness.

Uh, NO. That is not okay.

I think alot of people here suffer from genuine psychological issues that far outweigh their hair loss issues. There is a lot of obsessiveness, paranoia, social anxiety, self-esteem issues, confidence issues and more on display here everyday.

After cruising the boards for a couple of hours it becomes almost overwhelming.

You guys need to take a step back and look at yourselves.

Hair loss is not the end of the world.

Up until a few years ago my hair loss was barely perceptible. I was younger, fitter, and had more hair than I do now. And you know what? I sucked at life. Hell, I was a virgin until age 22. You know how many girlfriends I had in high school? Zero!

Nowadays - with my noticeably thinning hair that I have to style awkwardly to hide - I have NO PROBLEM attracting women. In the last five years I have dated many beautiful, attractive, intelligent women. All of my girlfriends are downright gorgeous. Hell, two of them were professional models - one of which I lived with for a year and a half. Not to toot my own horn, but right now I'm in an open relationship with one girl, and seeing another on the side - one of them is easily a 10/10 and the other at least a 9/10.

How is this possible? How am I happier, more fulfilled, and more successfull with women as a noticeably balding guy than I was with hair?

Because in the last few years I became the man I wanted to be. I had a set of goals when I was about 20 and in the last few years I achieved all of those things. And because of that I project genuine confidence - something which is FAR more important than hair. I am truly comfortable in my own skin; and other people around me can sense that. It is an attractive trait. It makes men listen to you; it makes you a leader. And it makes women want to be with you.

I would never have believed this in high school - I would have taken it for some sugar-coated bullshit ..... but trust me. Your attitude and perspective on life is what makes women attracted to you and men willing to follow your lead.

Your hair loss is NOT the cause of your problems. The fact that you have the kind of personality that obsesses and worries about these things IS THE SOURCE OF YOUR PROBLEM!!! That kind of behavior is indicative of someone who is insecure - which both men and women can smell from a mile away.

I'm a realist, and I understand that hair loss sucks. There's no doubt that looks DO count. But nowhere near as much as people here seem to think they do. I will be proactive in trying to stop my hair loss. But, hey, when it comes down to it I'll just shave my head and carry on.

Guys ..... it's really nowhere near as bad as you think it is.
 

johnbbbb

Member
Reaction score
3
Great post.

male pattern baldness sucks and it's no fun, but get real...it isn't like having heart disease, cancer or type II diabetes. I went through a major medical scare last year and believe me, at the time hair loss was the least of my concerns.
 

IronLionZion

New Member
Reaction score
0
blonde_john said:
Great post.

male pattern baldness sucks and it's no fun, but get real...it isn't like having heart disease, cancer or type II diabetes. I went through a major medical scare last year and believe me, at the time hair loss was the least of my concerns.

Haha. I also had a major medical scare a couple years ago. Definitely helps keep things in perspective. Glad to see it all worked out for you.
 

anxious1

Established Member
Reaction score
26
:bravo: :agree:

nicely said guys, i couldn't agree more. I really value this forums as a way to vent and brainstorm different ideas, but people that complain and think theyre life is over really piss me off.

I too have expereienced severe medical problems in my family, and hairloss suddenly becomes the least of my worries.

just as if we were living in a 3rd world country, we would worry about food and safety, not hairloss, the only reason we people worry about it, is because we are gifted and live in great countries.

in regards to getting girls, i am shy because of my hairloss, but i also understand most girls that r mature, really just want a strong, confident person.

ever seen a homcoming by a naval ship, such as a carrier, or battleship? Youll notice almost every one of those men, whether they r bald, fat, ugly, old, have a girlfriend and often new born babies. I dont know why exactly, but for these men, their looks just dont matter.

its prolly because the women feel protected. And that has nothing to do with hair.

this is why i draw the line before i consider surgery, or drugs for hairloss. man up, and become a better person instead.
 

Hoppi

Senior Member
Reaction score
61
I think hair loss is pretty harsh to be honest...

But, whatever man, we all have our own opinions :)

I think the sooner we can kill off male pattern baldness for good the better, and we will see a huge increase in people's confidence worldwide! Of course we will, and of COURSE people care about their appearance and hair. I have pride in my hair!

So.. yah, own opinions eh? ^_^


EDIT -- Additionally, I was so happy when I discovered a community of people that felt the same way as me. When I first saw my hair was taking a beating I FREAKED. I was upset, crying, I was a mess. Of course I frickin was because I ADORE my long hair, it's thick and Italian and I love my appearance and I love it. I just have self-pride that's all. And to come online and find that other people also cared and it also concerned them as opposed to everyone just going "Oh it's normal" or "Oh don't worry about it! Stop making such a big deal!" was so great, because I didn't feel weird anymore. You know?

So... yeah, that's all I wanted to say I guess!
 

Mens Rea

Senior Member
Reaction score
6
I agree. Good post TS.

Any dedicated forum is going to attact extremes.


It's sad how many guys on here have effectively written their lives off because of hairloss and are intent on blaming all their failures on hairloss. It's a distorted reality.

The reality is male pattern baldness is no cakewalk but it's not the end of the world. It may make it more difficult to pull superfical girls, yes, but i know from personal experience most decent girls don't mind. So long as you look after yourself and have something to offer (instead of being a negative energy!!). I konw this from having several absolutely gorgeous girls in my life who geninely didn't care what my hair looked like. I mean, these girls were completely out of my league. I continue to punch above my weigh.

The same goes with jobs and friend circle. It's all in your hands. Everyone has their own vices.
 

Mens Rea

Senior Member
Reaction score
6
Hoppi said:
I think hair loss is pretty harsh to be honest...

But, whatever man, we all have our own opinions :)

I think the sooner we can kill off male pattern baldness for good the better, and we will see a huge increase in people's confidence worldwide! Of course we will, and of COURSE people care about their appearance and hair. I have pride in my hair!

So.. yah, own opinions eh? ^_^

It's true, no doubt. I agree.

But life is far too precious to let it literally disable you.

I've developed sexual problems from finasteride. Now my main focus is to get back to normality in that department. That alone put it in perspective for me. If we had a serious disease we'd care even less about hair loss.
 

LooseItAll

Established Member
Reaction score
11
True, but it is really difficult to "man up" once you're already an insecure person in your twenties. Even harder than retaining hair. You may consider yourself lucky that you worked yourself out of this state.
 

shineman921

Established Member
Reaction score
5
IronLionZion said:
I'm a 27-year-old guy who has been losing hair slowly for many years. It's at the point now where it's fairly noticeable and I need to either do something to maintain my hair or shave it off.

Obviously, this worries me. I'd rather have hair than no hair.

But jesus ... reading the posts on this forum is downright bizarre. People routinely throw around words like "panic", "dark thoughts", and extreme "pain." They talk about being afraid to leave the house, blame their hair loss for failed relationships, poor luck dating, and a seemingly endless parade of other issues. They dedicate hours and hours to posting here, focusing on their hair loss problem.

It's a self-reinforcing phenomena on the boards. Things that are downright ridiculous become normal, and accepted - it's okay to talk about being afraid to leave your house, or avoiding social situations, because of male pattern baldness.

Uh, NO. That is not okay.

I think alot of people here suffer from genuine psychological issues that far outweigh their hair loss issues. There is a lot of obsessiveness, paranoia, social anxiety, self-esteem issues, confidence issues and more on display here everyday.

After cruising the boards for a couple of hours it becomes almost overwhelming.

You guys need to take a step back and look at yourselves.

Hair loss is not the end of the world.

Up until a few years ago my hair loss was barely perceptible. I was younger, fitter, and had more hair than I do now. And you know what? I sucked at life. Hell, I was a virgin until age 22. You know how many girlfriends I had in high school? Zero!

Nowadays - with my noticeably thinning hair that I have to style awkwardly to hide - I have NO PROBLEM attracting women. In the last five years I have dated many beautiful, attractive, intelligent women. All of my girlfriends are downright gorgeous. Hell, two of them were professional models - one of which I lived with for a year and a half. Not to toot my own horn, but right now I'm in an open relationship with one girl, and seeing another on the side - one of them is easily a 10/10 and the other at least a 9/10.

How is this possible? How am I happier, more fulfilled, and more successfull with women as a noticeably balding guy than I was with hair?

Because in the last few years I became the man I wanted to be. I had a set of goals when I was about 20 and in the last few years I achieved all of those things. And because of that I project genuine confidence - something which is FAR more important than hair. I am truly comfortable in my own skin; and other people around me can sense that. It is an attractive trait. It makes men listen to you; it makes you a leader. And it makes women want to be with you.

I would never have believed this in high school - I would have taken it for some sugar-coated bullshit ..... but trust me. Your attitude and perspective on life is what makes women attracted to you and men willing to follow your lead.

Your hair loss is NOT the cause of your problems. The fact that you have the kind of personality that obsesses and worries about these things IS THE SOURCE OF YOUR PROBLEM!!! That kind of behavior is indicative of someone who is insecure - which both men and women can smell from a mile away.

I'm a realist, and I understand that hair loss sucks. There's no doubt that looks DO count. But nowhere near as much as people here seem to think they do. I will be proactive in trying to stop my hair loss. But, hey, when it comes down to it I'll just shave my head and carry on.

Guys ..... it's really nowhere near as bad as you think it is.

Sorry, I have to disagree. You also come across as being a prized plonker and if you can't offer any help or support don't bother posting. I ain't bothered that you are poking two 'gorgeous' women at the same time. I'm interested in how you are coping with hairloss, what you are doing about it and how successful or not you have been. Yul Brynner probably had no problem attracting women but actually I really don't care!
 

OverMachoGrande

Senior Member
Reaction score
43
Captain Combover said:
This forum is for helping people deal with hairloss. Everyone deals with it differently, we have boys on here who are not even 15 yet who are experiencing baldness. At that age they are going to be scared and perhaps even suicidal about losing their hair. Imagine the endless teasing they endure at school from classmates about their thinning crowns and receding hairlines. At that age they are racing with hormones, and that really messes with their heads.
The title of your post is absolutely correct "The way you think is". But unfortunately everyone is different, thats what makes us unique and to some people especially teenagers, this is the only place they can come too and vent their anger at Baldness. Hey they can't confide in their friends can they.
Baldness does suck! You have the right attitude in that you are trying MEDS and if it does'nt work you will just shave it off.
Don't forget to start a thread on the "tell your story" section. Hopefully you will get some results and give hope to others on this forum.


:bravo: Well said Captain Combover! Seriously took the words I was about to write.

IronLionZion, this is a hair loss forum and we do encourage you to participate in the discussions here, if you are only here to tell people that they are thinking wrong then we encourage you to post elsewhere as we feel you are not a good fit here as again this IS a hair loss forum.

Thanks
 

IronLionZion

New Member
Reaction score
0
shineman921 said:
Sorry, I have to disagree. You also come across as being a prized plonker and if you can't offer any help or support don't bother posting. I ain't bothered that you are poking two 'gorgeous' women at the same time. I'm interested in how you are coping with hairloss, what you are doing about it and how successful or not you have been. Yul Brynner probably had no problem attracting women but actually I really don't care!

I told you about my (awesome) sex life to make the point that physical looks are secondary to the way your project yourself. Take from me - I was a virgin when I had a full head of hair!

In any case, if you are interested in my hair loss and how successful I have been. I'll tell you this: after researching a little bit I've decided to get on minoxidil.

Frankly, the way people cruise the boards for hours looking at new "regimens," researching new potential cures, analyzing and re-analyzing everything is ridiculous.

Everything these boards - or anywhere else - has to offer that is of any value can be summerized in a few short paragraphs. Basically, our options are minoxidil and finsteride. minoxidil is less effective but has minimal sides. Finesteride is highly effective but has potentially serious sides. That's it. Everything else is, for the most part, obsessive speculation that is a little bit unhealthy. Nothing else will have anything but a marginal impact on your hair loss - no matter how much you want to believe otherwise.

Once this knowledge is attained, I can't think of any reason to continue to obsessively focus on hair loss. Make a decision to use meds or not and move on in life. I feel like anything beyond that is only going to harm you, and is possibly indicative of larger personal issues beyond hair loss. Most men do nothing at all to halt hair loss.
 

IronLionZion

New Member
Reaction score
0
PropeciaJunkie said:
:bravo: Well said Captain Combover! Seriously took the words I was about to write.

IronLionZion, this is a hair loss forum and we do encourage you to participate in the discussions here, if you are only here to tell people that they are thinking wrong then we encourage you to post elsewhere as we feel you are not a good fit here as again this IS a hair loss forum.

Thanks

Yes, it is. I'm just sharing my views on hair loss, like everyone else.
 

Tom1985

Established Member
Reaction score
4
Thanks IronLionZion. Your post has inspired me to stop coming to this website.

I'm doing fine with my regime of min and nizoral and I know all about finasteride, so why do I keep coming here? To bask in the never ending negativity of others it would seem.

I really need to stop worrying about my f*****g hair and get on with my life.

see ya'll later.

edit: Just thought I'd edit this to say this site has lots of useful information and can be a great support network. I didn't mean to sound like a dick, this is a great site. For me though, coming here almost daily has become another part of my obsession about my hair. I need to try and move on
 

OverMachoGrande

Senior Member
Reaction score
43
IronLionZion said:
PropeciaJunkie said:
:bravo: Well said Captain Combover! Seriously took the words I was about to write.

IronLionZion, this is a hair loss forum and we do encourage you to participate in the discussions here, if you are only here to tell people that they are thinking wrong then we encourage you to post elsewhere as we feel you are not a good fit here as again this IS a hair loss forum.

Thanks

Yes, it is. I'm just sharing my views on hair loss, like everyone else.


Well we appreciate your views regarding hair loss and welcome you to HairLossTalk.com.
 

shineman921

Established Member
Reaction score
5
IronLionZion said:
shineman921 said:
Sorry, I have to disagree. You also come across as being a prized plonker and if you can't offer any help or support don't bother posting. I ain't bothered that you are poking two 'gorgeous' women at the same time. I'm interested in how you are coping with hairloss, what you are doing about it and how successful or not you have been. Yul Brynner probably had no problem attracting women but actually I really don't care!

I told you about my (awesome) sex life to make the point that physical looks are secondary to the way your project yourself. Take from me - I was a virgin when I had a full head of hair!

In any case, if you are interested in my hair loss and how successful I have been. I'll tell you this: after researching a little bit I've decided to get on minoxidil.

Frankly, the way people cruise the boards for hours looking at new "regimens," researching new potential cures, analyzing and re-analyzing everything is ridiculous.

Everything these boards - or anywhere else - has to offer that is of any value can be summerized in a few short paragraphs. Basically, our options are minoxidil and finsteride. minoxidil is less effective but has minimal sides. Finesteride is highly effective but has potentially serious sides. That's it. Everything else is, for the most part, obsessive speculation that is a little bit unhealthy. Nothing else will have anything but a marginal impact on your hair loss - no matter how much you want to believe otherwise.

Once this knowledge is attained, I can't think of any reason to continue to obsessively focus on hair loss. Make a decision to use meds or not and move on in life. I feel like anything beyond that is only going to harm you, and is possibly indicative of larger personal issues beyond hair loss. Most men do nothing at all to halt hair loss.

Child!
 

uncomfortable man

Senior Member
Reaction score
490
I've been bald for over ten years. Not balding, not receeding but nw5 bald..... no hair transplant or BHT nor meds will help improve my situation so I pretty much come here to vent my frustrations and keep an eye on an eventual cure.... is that OK? I will concede however that this website does encourage neurotic behavior but one doesn't have to be a lunatic to feel insecure about hairloss, especially in this day and age.

And just because other people may have it ten times worse, doesn't mean I don't feel sympathy for them nor does it take away my right to be upset about my own situation so dismount your tall steed kind sir.
 

Hoppi

Senior Member
Reaction score
61
I also must really disagree that finasteride and minoxidil are the only options! That's crazy! I've seen people get results with ketoconazole ALONE and CB-03-01 looks great. So... yeah :)
 

shineman921

Established Member
Reaction score
5
Hoppi said:
I also must really disagree that finasteride and minoxidil are the only options! That's crazy! I've seen people get results with ketoconazole ALONE and CB-03-01 looks great. So... yeah :)

Hoppi, ignore him and he'll go away.
 

BlahBlah12

Established Member
Reaction score
8
what's going to be bitterly sweet is when this guys stable loss speeds up and he suddenly realizes that what he got used to seeing in the mirror (flaws and all) no longer bears a resemblance to what he sees now.

that's when this guy (who def has the correct way to think about all this) will eat his words and become a hypocrit...its happened before to many a men.
 

abcdefg

Senior Member
Reaction score
782
I disagree with some of what you say. How someone views something of course depends on the person so someone might view hair loss much more seriously than someone else. Lots of men go bald and do not care at all while others feel their whole life falls apart. Who is to say which view is wrong I mean they are losing their hair and it does change how people perceive you so either view point is valid.
I remember reading that most cancer patients said that losing their hair was actually the worst part of having cancer, not the treatments, or any of the side effects but losing the hair. So its much bigger deal than many people might think even to people with a life threatening illness do not want to look like differently. Who can blame them? Physical appearance is a lot more important these days that inward health.
 
Top