Would you date a girl with hair loss?

[reverie]

Would you date a girl with visible hair loss? (early thinning look) I'm mildly interested in a guy who is I guess a NW6 (he shaves so I don't know for sure and I'm not about to get up close and stare). I know you guys think I must only be into this guy because I'm losing my hair too, and for some women that might hold, but I honestly never cared whether a guy has hair (fact is, when I was much younger I noticed that most guys bald sooner or later so lack of hair never factored into anything, and I posted earlier about my pre-hair loss relationship with a young NW7).

I don't know him well...I just want to get to know him better. BUT, I'm afraid he might take one look at me and think "she's losing her hair so that's why she's talking to me" or "she's only into me because we share this awful thing in common" or some other sort of revere psychology and be REALLY turned off. Oh, and he's younger than me too (3 years?), which I don't like and have never done before. Having spent the last 2 years of my life with a guy much older than me who literally had enough hair for five toupees and who bailed when it became obvious my hair loss and other health problems weren't going to magically reverse, I don't think it can get that much worse. But, I've never put the moves on a guy, never had to and wouldn't even know where to begin.

I'm decently well-educated so I don't need a man to support me financially, and I don't want kids unless I find a great husband first and we make the decision together (some people get this part way backwards...)--that is, this isn't a sort of "biological clock ticking" issue, so in a twisted way, hair loss aside I still have some non-spinsterhood choices. So, be honest, I know 99.99% of guys wouldn't even consider it, I just want to know if there are any here who would.

 

[blueshard]

I would date a girl with hair loss absolutely.

 

[IBM]

reverie would you date me?

 

[IBM]

reverie what's your interests? Do you like romance?

 

[RaginDemon]

^brotha, you sounded a little desperate.

 

[Ian Curtis]

reverie what's your interests? Do you like romance?

wot do you mean by romance?
yes, it sounded a bit desperate.

 

[Nathaniel]

If we are strictly talking about looks and not factoring personality into the equation (which is basically what you asked) then I think the same principle applies to girls and guys when it comes to hairloss. If she takes care of herself, is feminine and dresses nice, then of course.

 

[ghg]

reverie would you date me?

WTF? So you're 28 yrs old? She doesn't even know what you look like for fucks sake.

Anyway, I could date a girl with hairloss, no problem.

 

[reverie]

Thanks for the replies guys. When I posted I was sure this would be an empty thread or maybe I'd be ridiculed.

Actually, what I MEANT to ask was: would you date a girl with VERY VISIBLE hair loss. Right now, with proper styling and Dermmatch, I have an early-to-moderate thinning look. But, I see my mom's and grandma's bald pates (well not completely bald, they have a few wisps left on top), and I see my early fate. Try to picture this, and be honest.

And when the time comes, would you want the girl to wear a wig in public only, or wear it at home too? My ex said if I buzzed my head and went out that way in public, he couldn't be around me because society would label (and ridicule) me as trying to "make a fashion statement or something," which really hurt me...but logically OF COURSE there is no way I'd venture in public without a piece! I would never do that to a guy...I couldn't even do that to myself!

 

[s.a.f]

I think you've got to be able to relax at home and not have to wear the wig indoors.

 

[Maxpwr]

Would you date a girl with hair loss?

This is a tough question to answer. At the risk of sounding shallow I must admit that physical attraction is important to me as well as intelligence and personality. If my girlfriend started losing her hair visibly I wouldn't for one second reconsider our relationship, however, I would not like her to let herself go completely as a result. My standards with women are that she must take good care of herself physically and mentally and put effort into her appearance too; as those are things I do myself. I believe a person should strive to be the best they can be, in their own ways and within their means.

Since female hair loss is a lot less common than male hair loss at my age, I'd assume most self conscious women in this situation would invest in a wig or two once the loss becomes clearly visible. In my opinion it's a lot more acceptable for women to wear wigs, as many women wear them even with a full head of hair underneath. Of course this definitely doesn't lessen the blow any more, but means that a woman can still look and feel her best when she wants to. As for wearing it at home, that should be entirely her choice. Nobody could EXPECT her to wear it all the time, but some women may feel comfortable wearing it at home as well, mostly for the extra confidence it gives them. Women are generally pretty self-aware and their moods can sometimes be dominated entirely by this awareness.

There's no way I would style my hair or wear my designer clothing and jewellery after my evening shower, or upon waking on a weekend, so I'd be a right arsehole wanting her to wear a wig or makeup at home. There's only one style I can pull off to help conceal my hair loss, and I'd be damned if I wear my hair like that every waking hour.

As I grow older my ideals are changing.... Appearances will mean less and less to me as climb steadily up the hill, and then over it. I am fortunate to have found someone I connect with so well, and am happy to say that her physical appearance is only a small factor of my feelings for her, so she's definitely a keeper. If I was single though, and I met a woman and liked her, then found out later that she was concealing visible hair loss with a wig, I would never think differently of her... Part of this is because of my compassion for those (women especially) with hair loss, and part of this is due to the fact that I'm now so much more interested in personality, intelligence, education, sense of humour, ethics and views, goals etcetera, than I was eight years ago. Judging and evaluating people based on looks alone will usually leave someone like me bitterly disappointed... (yes, that's after more than one experience!)

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That last guy you dated sounds like a complete arsehole, pompous and conceited... You're much better off without him.

This guy that you're interested in should know what it feels like to be experiencing hair loss and may be a lot more understanding of yours. I wouldn't approach him intentionally without your wig (assuming you usually wear it) but if you start dating him, you probably shouldn't hide it from him for too long. It's hard to say what he will think about it, but if he's worth it I'm sure it won't be a problem.

You sound well educated, intelligent and mentally stable. I definitely don't need to advise you that you shouldn't just "take what you can get", as a lot of women do... Everyone should have standards. The bottom line of a relationship is companionship. Anyway, I’ll stop preaching now…

Hope it works out for you, reverie.

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I tried to answer this question as honestly as I could without any false "feel good" bullsh*t, and without trying to let my hair loss or my compassion for others with hair loss influence my opinion on this any more than it should. It's easy to say "yeah I would" but I know that for a lot of people in this case it's a lot more complicated than that.

Hope I haven't offended you or anyone else.

 

[IBM]

I would date a girl with hairloss if i fallen in love with her. For me its important for a girl to be kind, simple and humble. These three qualities are the keys for beauty in a person.

 

[s.a.f]

I think people have sympathy for women wearing a wig because of hairloss, but for a man its deemed as pathetic.

 

[alkulk]

Would you date a girl with hair loss?

Since female hair loss is a lot less common than male hair loss at my age...

Oh, not that less common...! Just look around on the streets.
But, of course, it is rarely visible for the fast glimpse

 

[s.a.f]

Oh, not that less common...! Just look around on the streets.
But, of course, it is rarely visible for the fast glimpse

:dunno: I very rarely see any female hairloss and even then its usually on women 60+.

 

[alkulk]

Well... where do you live?
Where I live many women suffer some thinning - they almost never go bald, thats true, but thinning is definitely quite frequent.

 

[s.a.f]

In the UK, on the odd occasion I'll see some old woman with thin hair but apart from that I work with a girl who has some form of alopecia and thats the first female I've actually known with real hairloss.

 

[ghg]

My mother has got some serious thinning going on... not as bad as mine but the same diffuse pattern. Yeah, I blame her for my hairloss gene.

 

[malibujoe]

too bad hair loss on women isn't considered sexy like women who are hairless between the legs.

 

[Nathaniel]

I think people have sympathy for women wearing a wig because of hairloss, but for a man its deemed as pathetic.

I think this is the key here. I wish I could wear a piece and not get criticized, hell, thats the sole reason why I will never consider a wig. Who cares, wear the piece, like it was mentioned you can have it sectioned just for your problem area. Like I said, grooming and taking care of yourself is the key.