Well, my story is hardly 3 weeks old, but I think I am going to provide some update information. A few good news, but also some really bad news.
let´s start with some good news:
A few days ago I cut off my hair. Yes, I cut my own hair..... I took a pair of scissors and cut it as short as possible. Of course, the result was horrible, particularly since I had problems with the back. But I don´t care! I won´t leave the house within the next days anyways. Just at night when nobody sees me I go out for running. Ok, but some good news:
-I know I can take the shaved look. The shape of my head is good for it. I was scared that i would look like some Nazi Skinhead thug, but i don´t. The trick is to have a skinny face, then most can take the shaved look. So, you should lose some weight before shaving it off. Another point is, that my face is not round. Round faces look awful with a shaved head. Of course even with a good head shape I look rather ugly compared to how I am looking with hair.
- My hairline is still pretty good. I thought I had a big forehead, but it was just the impression I had caused by the photos. I am still a Norwood 1.5, the V is only noticeable for Norwood spotters balding themselves. Nevertheless I hope to regrow it. If not it is easy to hide when my hair is longer so that I can comb it forward.
- I don´t see a horsehoe even with very short hair. I think this is a good sign. On the other hand it is shocking to see how incredibly thin my hair is all over my head.
- Best news for the day. I see some new hairs at the temples. I basically know every single hair at my hairline. i should when observing it for hours every day. Shows you how sick I am.......Today I have found two new ones at the left temple and another at the right one. They are growing in an area where the hairs are really thin. So it is a good sign to see some thickening. I am not even sure, whether it is actually caused by finasteride. But this doesn´t matter at the moment. These 3 hairs, looking healthy with brown colour, give me new hope.
Ok, now the bad news:
Overall my hair has become much worse. I have compared the various pictures I have taken within the last weeks and I was shocked how thin my hair has become within this short time. At the beginnig of my finasteride therapy the crown thinning was hardly visible under daylight. It took a really close look to spot it. Three weeks later it could be seen from a few meters distance under normal daylight. So terrible, I don´t know what to do anymore. Why is this happening to me? i am no bad person, do i deserve this? The last nights I had nightmares, I wake up totally frightened and shocked. I am taking sleeping pills in order to fall asleep. I am unable to do anything. I wanted to write some HairLossTalk.com posts, but I was simply too tired and exhausted. I can´t concentrate, all I am thinking about is my hair loss. i am feeling dead alive. And it keeps on getting worse every day, it is like a slow and painful Death. Luckily with my new hair cut I notice no shedding anymore (hairs are not visible). That´s good, since I was really scared to look down on my keyboard and seeing another one lying there, liveless and fallen from my head.
I have no power to continue fighting hair loss, but I don´t want to go bald either. At the moment I am continuing with finasteride, furhtermore some supplements will be added to my regimen . Nevertheless I am thinking about surrendering to MBP. Accepting my upcoming baldness. But I don´t think I could live with it. It is so depressing...... :cry: