Not ALL girls care about hair

Afro_Vacancy

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I notice a common thing for women to write on their profiles is:

"I enjoy having fun."
Also
"I love laughing."
"My family is important to me."
 

Swimswiy

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I'm not implying good looking people are less intelligent or kind, im saying there are all different combinations of looks and personality. Bad looking people can be intelligent and kind or unintelligent and unkind, same for good looking people. I can't say whether good looking or bad looking people have more quality of character at all. I'm just saying you cant use pre-conceived opibions to pigeonhole people based on their looks. You also can't be the judge of people's relationships.

That said, I'd obviously rather date an attractive person. Anyone would. But sometimes it doesn't work out that way, and I think its silly to question it.
 

Afro_Vacancy

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I looked it up a while back.

There is a weak positive correlation between intelligence and beauty, I think it was Pearson \rho = + 0.20. In this system, +1.0 means perfect correlation, 0.0 means uncorrelated, and -1.0 means perfect anti-correlation.

Which is not surprising. They can both be helped along by a healthy embryonic environment.
 

Roberto_72

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I looked it up a while back.

There is a weak positive correlation between intelligence and beauty, I think it was Pearson \rho = + 0.20. In this system, +1.0 means perfect correlation, 0.0 means uncorrelated, and -1.0 means perfect anti-correlation.

Which is not surprising. They can both be helped along by a healthy embryonic environment.

Here a UK study:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo.../beautiful-people-really-are-more-intelligent

(based on a statistical sample that one cannot define too small:)

By pure coincidence, the correlation between physical attractiveness and intelligence in NCDS is exactly the same, down to the third decimal point, as the correlation between intelligence and education. Both correlations are .381.
If you want to estimate someone’s intelligence without giving them an IQ test, you would do just as well to base your estimate on their physical attractiveness as you would to base it on their years of education.

This study is probably a bit terroristic, but can someone find me a study that says the contrary, i.e.: ugly people are more intelligent ON AVERAGE (please save me the Steve Jobs example: I need averages, not samples and champions) and make up for ugliness with their smarts?
BTW: I'M NOT gonna stop hitting on ladies because I am balding. But please don't anyone dare tell me it's gonna be as easy as some NW0, tall people I know. It would be unfair to my efforts.
 

Afro_Vacancy

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Wow, +0.381, that's quite large actually.

As an experiment, I bet if you share this information with some leftist, politically correct people they will tell you that it can't possibly be correct.
 

jd_uk

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LOL.... good god.... arguing with you is like arguing with a potato. That's how it works? Really? Maybe its how it works for you, but you obviously live in a very "you-centric" world. You can't just state your opinion as fact without evidence to back it up, and just because you can think of a lot of instances to support your opinion you can't disregard all instances that contradict it. Your opinions are absolute and leave no room for opposition, yet I can think of so many cases, in my own experience and those of others, that completely prove you wrong. You seem to think that you have a complete understanding of reality and anything that contradicts it must be wrong, just because you say so, regardless of proof to the contrary. Do you want me to find examples of bald men that women find attractive? It's really quite easy.

My brother and his wife are happily married with 3 children and they didn't begin their relationship with sex. I think most people would consider her more attractive than him as well. Are you prepared to tell me that, beyond a shadow of a doubt, their happiness is all a facade? If you had an ounce of maturity and understanding of how human beings work you'd realize the world is a big place with all different kinds of people that you will never be able to understand. At this point your understanding of basic human behavior is obviously more minuscule than most.


In short, the guy is a moron.
 

DoctorHouse

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Vincent vs Fred, now this is going to be worth a tub of popcorn........................................:whistle: Cue the video of Michael Jackson eating popcorn. Guys, don't let me interrupt. Please continue.
 

WhitePolarBear

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It's not cheap, go back and read what I wrote. You are very stubborn and conceited in your convictions and don't give a flying f*ck when somebody writes something that doesn't support your conviction. Which makes people give up talking normally to you, since you don't accept and ignore other people's opinion that are not aligned with your convictions. That's why I don't even care to provide an argument to you anymore, since you are not capable of taking something into account that doesn't prove your point.

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I'll give you an example. People have been saying in the hair system forums that hair systems worked for them and you stubbornly write how it's the worst thing in the world with a lot of hysteria to the point where you're spamming.

To me it seems like if people don't agree with you you tend to go into a temper tantrum based from what I saw on the subforum. Instead, you could just write your opinion in a normal manner and bail out of there, there's no point in venting your negative (sometimes hysterical) emotions multiple times about the hair systems.

Guess what? If something didn't work for you that doesn't mean it won't work for others.

Never tried a hair piece but my father did, and yeah it kind of works for him, I'll admit that.

But that's all that works for him: he has no job (he has turned down jobs where they told him he would have to work in the sun), has given up his hobbies, cannot have sex, cannot go on holiday in the sun, etc. etc.

So yeah, you're right, hair pieces work. Shookwun's testimony showed that too, the only problem is that almost nothing else that's enjoyable will work. Totally a viable solution for someone who, you know, wants to have a life.
 

jd_uk

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Will you ever come up with an argument instead of a cheap personal attack?

Explain to me how I'm wrong. Not everyone has the ability to debate fairly I guess.

That is your problem. Why the f*ck are you even on a forum 'debating' and arguing a belief you have made literally thousands of times for years right throughout the internet? Do you feel some sort of pride in being well known as the guy who spams internet forums with the same line 'looks are all that matter'? Personally i would feel pretty damn sad about that. I've seen you mocked many times 'fred the pathetic', and i can blatantly see why. No way are you living this incredible life which you state when you spend every day spamming with the same 'debate'.

Edit.. i maintain that i think you have some sort of personality disorder and should be seen about it.
 

WhitePolarBear

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That is your problem. Why the f*ck are you even on a forum 'debating' and arguing a belief you have made literally thousands of times for years right throughout the internet? Do you feel some sort of pride in being well known as the guy who spams internet forums with the same line 'looks are all that matter'? Personally i would feel pretty damn sad about that. I've seen you mocked many times 'fred the pathetic', and i can blatantly see why. No way are you living this incredible life which you state when you spend every day spamming with the same 'debate'.

Edit.. i maintain that i think you have some sort of personality disorder and should be seen about it.

Thank you for your concern.

And again, no argument to be seen in your posts. Just personal attacks.

But this tells me that I have won the debate so thank you.

If you explain to me why I'm wrong and it makes sense, I will admit that I was wrong.

I have in the past, many times.
 

WhitePolarBear

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I know you feel, like we all do, that injustice has been done to you but the major flaw in everybody's reasoning here is to compare ourselves to others. While I admit that hair loss makes us much uglier I still fight with my emotions to not give in to resentment, bitterness and jealousy. Because in the end it only prevents us from being happy. I look at it this way, I will never be happy if I don't get my hair back to a decent state but since that's not likely going to happen why would I let hair loss control my happiness and how I feel? Do you really want to spend the rest of your life feeling bitter and resented as somebody who unfairly served with this aesthetic deformity? This emotional poison won't give you your hair back, if you can't prevent your fate of losing your hair then you can decide how you are going to react and feel about it. That's the true strength in my opinion, to be happy in spite the bad cards you've been given.

And I feel like I've achieved just that, happiness despite having the hair of a 52 year old at 22 year old.

You say all that but, come on, when you're with your friends and each one of them is sporting a youthful thick NW1, it's hard not to become bitter.

My friends see life differently since they've known about my balding, they admit themselves that it's very important to girls for example.

They see that they wouldn't be anywhere with women if they didn't have that youthful hair. Well, I don't have it, and yet I still manage.

But yeah, 6'3, fit, not bad-looking, perfect headshape and dreamy blue eyes. Things could be way worse, I'm doing the best with what I've been given.
 

WhitePolarBear

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I'm living an incredible life, that's what people say.

Both "tragic" incredible and "awesome" incredible.

So it balances out I guess.
 

DoctorHouse

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Vince, nice post. Most people generally fall into the category of "insecurity" on this forum so its going to be the norm to compare yourself to your surroundings. It's "animal instinct" to compete for survival. Unfortunately, our society has "brainwashed" us all into believing the "peacock theory". Every thing comes your way if you are "beautiful". And we believe part of that definition is to have great genetic features all inclusive to hair, facial features, height, physique, huge genitalia for men and huge breasts for women. Who taught us to be like this? Our parents? Not really. The media? Yes!!. So if you don't "measure" up, will you fail in life? No!. However, some people think their life would be so much better if they were genetically perfect. Is that really a guarantee you will?

I know certain men and women that are considered genetically perfect that have severe mental depression. Does that make any sense? How can that be? Simple, as long as you compare yourself to anyone, you risk the consequence of disappointment and it will happen if you don't value your self. You need to value yourself more than anyone one else. And don't ever value yourself based on your looks because that is a variable that will always change throughout your life. You will never be able to control that variable. Happiness is always going to be based on your self worth. And if you have none, you will never be happy. And like I said before, each and every one of you get to define your own definition of happiness on your OWN terms.
 

WhitePolarBear

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Comparing yourself to others is not very useful, but it can motivate you to become better if it's achievable.

Now comparing myself to the NW1 out there and wishing to be like them is another story, it's not achievable and it will be damaging.
 

DoctorHouse

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Comparing yourself to others is not very useful, but it can motivate you to become better if it's achievable.

Now comparing myself to the NW1 out there and wishing to be like them is another story, it's not achievable and it will be damaging.
Fred, it IS achievable with a hair system. But it will be damaging to your scalp with all that glue. So its all about compromise but it definitely can be done.
 

DoctorHouse

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In my opinion it is the matter of perception. I had depression, panic attacks, derealization from high anxiety for three+ years and again it is the matter of how you look at it. You're only going to fuel it more when you look at it as tragic. I hardly even remember my depression and anxiety days. I've contracted chronic high pitched ringing in the ears (called tinnitus) from one gig where I played the guitar and it drives me insane and I can't sleep because if I don't play some background noise on my computer to mask the ringing and it is possible that I won't be able to play guitar live anymore because my ringing might worsen. This happened now when my band finally started being successful after 10 years and we got an invitation to go to London to play and I can't play anymore because of the ringing in my ears. Guitar and long hair was everything to me and I'm losing both now. Isn't that tragic? I don't think so, I still have million and one thing to do, even if you'd took everything from me I will still be happy because I choose not to be morose and resentful. You can't make be resentful if I don't want to. I'm the only one who can choose how I will feel. That's why I told you you should try therapy, it gives you knowledge on how to control your emotions.

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And the funny and interesting thing is, when I've stopped having negative emotions towards my tinnitus, I rarely hear it anymore, except when I go to sleep. I still can't play live but it goes to show how you can enhance some medical problem by fueling it with negative emotions when you focus on it obsessively.


There's so much power and freedom in the ability to choose how we feel you wouldn't believe.

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You should realize that all that resentment and bitterness isn't doing you any good and just let them go, it's natural to feel that but at some point you should just let go because they serve no function. You might get some attention and some comfort from people but ultimately nobody will want to hang out with you because you're focusing too much on the negative. I'm talking from my own experience.

You might not even be aware that the way you feel most of the time is not healthy for you. First step is to challenge those emotions by trying out some new ones. I sense you are very bitter and hurt because the way other people mistreated you, especially women. Your mistake in reasoning is the belief that their acceptance will make you happy. Sure, it feels good to be loved but if you substitute that for the lack of self love it leads to emotional codependency and addiction that is worse than drug addiction. It's a trap. Only you can make yourself happy. Everybody else is just the icing on the cake.

I was abused by schoolmates in my junior school when I moved to a new town with my parents. But you can't change the way somebody will feel or react towards you but you can change how you react to their reaction. You should realize that their actions have nothing to do with you personally, it speaks about them, not you. It doesn't have to do anything with you. That doesn't mean you shouldn't physically defend yourself, I'm talking about emotions and verbal communication. If you have a strong conviction on who you are and what's your self worth nobody can shake that with their vile comments and manipulations. If you don't like yourself and hate yourself for not being good enough and beautiful enough you will always put other's people opinion about you in front of yours. It's called using other's people opinion as a mirror of your self worth. And that's a vicious cycle that again leads to emotional codependency and emotional addiction from the opinions of others about you and their affection towards you.
Vince, thanks for sharing. Very powerful posting. You have my respect. If we all were in group therapy these are the things that would be expressed. Its amazing when people open up and share stuff like this how we find we are very much alike. I really think a higher power drew us all to this very forum for a reason. And when I read posts like from Vince, I know I am right.
 
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