Learning to accept it

[Aplunk1]

I'm learning to accept and cope with my hairloss.

In fact, I'm honestly thinking about saying "f*** it," and shaving my head-- with a Clippers to a zero guard. I'll continue to use treatments, though.

My shedding has been slowly increasing. I've been shedding about 30 hairs daily, now. It sucks. I can't avoid it... They're mostly thin, wispy hairs, but I get terminal hairs every now and then.

I'm learning to accept my hairloss.

I'm learning to accept my lifestyle.

I'm learning to accept that God is punishing me.

I'm learning to accept that I was born to an angry and abusive father, and an emotional and often unmaneagable mother.

I'm learning to accept that I will not be able to afford college.

I'm learning to accept that people don't accept me on the basis of my character, but by the looks.

I'm learning to accept that I was born with bad skin.

I'm learning to accept that women truly are shallow, and that "good" women are too few and hard to find.

I'm learning to accept that I am a failure, and that I must do everything in my life ALONE, and without ANYBODY to help me.

I'm learning to accept that I'll be on anti-depressants for the rest of my life and still be unhappy.

I'm learning to accept that I've had a bad childhood, eating disorders, repressed memories, and trauma.

I'm learning to accept that I will no longer be of much value to society because of my life, lifestyle, psycholical conditions, and my looks.

I'm learning to accept that I will NOT be financially stable.

I'm learning to accept that nobody will love my unconditionally, and never has.

Throughout my entire life, I've been told over and over that I am guilty of one thing or another... I've listened to to many people about what I SHOULD be, or what I SHOULD do... I've always been put down by my father, and I no longer maintain communication with my extended family (and my father, for that matter), even though I TRY to communicate...

God, you have stabbed me and knifed out my heart... and I've bled into unhappy acceptance...

If you are out there, then please correct my life or kill me.


People hate me on the basis of WHO I AM.

People hate me... and I've always considered myself a kind, compassionate, and respected person...

I've been told how I'm wrong and always been wrong.

I've been WRONGED by society.

Well, f*** YOU, SOCIETY.

f*** ALL YOU SHALLOW BASTARDS out there.

f*** you for ruining other people's lives...

f*** you for all the trauma you've caused the youth.

f*** you for all the time you've spent destroying this young man's life.

f*** you.

 

[Goingat20]

hey bro, your still young. Life is just starting for you, before you know it things will start to change. I can tell your a smart person by the way you write. Maybe things havent gone to well so far, but things will change. I know its easy for me to say, but you have try be positive. Look at things differently. You wont be lonely for the rest of your hlife, mark my words on that. One day you will come to this forum and tell us how things have changed, just you wait and see. Cheer up man, be strong

 

[Solo]

you are a good guy that looks for something better, you should also accept this.


Stay away from alcohol and drugs for a long time, it´s quite boring and depressing at the beggining, but it´s worth the effort.


Try some sport related activitie with the money you save from drugs, to release some adrenaline.

The world has also a happy face.

 

[JayB]

take out a fcking loan and go to school. what is this self pity garbage. in a few weeks when ur shedding stops and suddenly you become optimistic again, youll look at yourself and wonder who the hell just typed that.

i think youre using all this as an excuse to be mediocre. perhaps u just fear being great. you dont have money? Get A LOAN and get an education and get a great paying job. Stop blaming everything else.

 

[Aplunk1]

I am now in debt.
f*****g great.

 

[jeffsss]

andy relax brother. hit me up on the AIM if you see me on.

 

[DaSand]

Aplunk1, I thought you were going to go to school. What happened?

I've been through similiar sh*t. I lost my dad at a young age before I graduated from high school, I had a nervous breakdown at school the year after, I realized people at my workplace didn't like me and I got assaulted at school at a young age that started my breakdown. I've talked about this to you before.

I learned you just have to suck things up. I decided to improve things like getting back to martial arts, my comic book drawings, reading classics like Les Miserables and The Art of War stuff that I like to do.

I've learned to accept my hairloss until something is found that can help me.

Believe me, there will be a woman for you. Just don't give up please, it's time to make something of yourself. Good women are hard to find, but they're still there. I've been in the same path, I feel like I've been cursed. All of the women I've been attracted to you never were interested and all the ones that liked me I was never interested in.

You can still PM me if you need someone to talk to. You need someone to talk to.

 

[btp11]

Aplunk1, I thought you were going to go to school. What happened?

I've been through similiar $#iT. I lost my dad at a young age before I graduated from high school, I had a nervous breakdown at school the year after, I realized people at my workplace didn't like me and I got assaulted at school at a young age that started my breakdown. I've talked about this to you before.

I learned you just have to suck things up. I decided to improve things like getting back to martial arts, my comic book drawings, reading classics like Les Miserables and The Art of War stuff that I like to do.

I've learned to accept my hairloss until something is found that can help me.

Believe me, there will be a woman for you. Just don't give up please, it's time to make something of yourself. Good women are hard to find, but they're still there. I've been in the same path, I feel like I've been cursed. All of the women I've been attracted to you never were interested and all the ones that liked me I was never interested in.

You can still PM me if you need someone to talk to. You need someone to talk to.

this man does speak the truth. you do have to suck it up and get a degree. as for the women....who the hell knows but think about it....go to school, and by the time you graduate, HM will be coming out, and youll have the $$$ to be one of the first ones to get it, and youll get all the b****s you dream of.

or, you can ignore school, be poor, and when HM comes out, you can watch everyone else get it but you. think about it man....25, a degree, full head of hair, beeatches.....what more do you need (besides a pro sports team in vegas)?

 

[Aplunk1]

Thanks DaSand and Btp11,

you guys really cheered me up. The thought of fulfilling my dream to go to school, have a decent job when getting out, and possibly getting HM, really encourages me.

DaSand,
thank you for your help. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to have a family death at such a young age. I suffered a divorce, and my parents largely put blame on myself and my brothers. What's happening to the married people of today?

I too, enjoy things like reading comic books (I laugh at how poor of an artist I am), reading classics (Hemingway, Orwell, Emerson, etc), and I enjoyed reading Sun Tzu's The Art of War.

It's tough when you don't have any unconditional love in your life. It's hard when you try to persevere throughout all these struggles, to finally get over these hurdles in life, when there is nobody standing there next to you... not even a call to tell you that they're proud of you or anything.

I have no doubt that I'll find a woman, but I'm scared that I will neglect the feelings of my wife, and eventually divorce her, neglect my kids, and move away, just as BOTH my father and my uncle DID.

But I try to put those feelings on the backburner.

Btp11,
I'm very encouraged by your words... You're right: If I don't get back into college, then my odds of being successful (with or without hair) are greatly diminished. (Funny how most know me on these forums by my LEGENDARY rants, huh?)

And to everyone else, I will update you on my success or failure of my college admissions (which I will receive this summer). I pray that I will get in and be able to afford schooling through loans and whatnot.

Thank you for your kind words, everyone.

I'm very fortunate to be able to communicate to such outstanding and wonderful people on these forums.

 

[btp11]

also - dont know how youre applying for your financial aid...do your parents claim you on their tax return? if they do, they might not want to next year....if you claim yourself and have low enough income, not only will you get a lot more financial aid, but they may give you grants instead of loans....you dont have to pay grants back.

ask how youre being claimed on your tax return. claiming you may save your parents some taxes, but it could hurt you for financial aid purposes.

 

[btp11]

Thanks DaSand and Btp11,

you guys really cheered me up. The thought of fulfilling my dream to go to school, have a decent job when getting out, and possibly getting HM, really encourages me.

DaSand,
thank you for your help. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to have a family death at such a young age. I suffered a divorce, and my parents largely put blame on myself and my brothers. What's happening to the married people of today?

I too, enjoy things like reading comic books (I laugh at how poor of an artist I am), reading classics (Hemingway, Orwell, Emerson, etc), and I enjoyed reading Sun Tzu's The Art of War.

It's tough when you don't have any unconditional love in your life. It's hard when you try to persevere throughout all these struggles, to finally get over these hurdles in life, when there is nobody standing there next to you... not even a call to tell you that they're proud of you or anything.

I have no doubt that I'll find a woman, but I'm scared that I will neglect the feelings of my wife, and eventually divorce her, neglect my kids, and move away, just as BOTH my father and my uncle DID.

But I try to put those feelings on the backburner.

Btp11,
I'm very encouraged by your words... You're right: If I don't get back into college, then my odds of being successful (with or without hair) are greatly diminished. (Funny how most know me on these forums by my LEGENDARY rants, huh?)

And to everyone else, I will update you on my success or failure of my college admissions (which I will receive this summer). I pray that I will get in and be able to afford schooling through loans and whatnot.

Thank you for your kind words, everyone.

I'm very fortunate to be able to communicate to such outstanding and wonderful people on these forums.

no problem, my man. you do a lot to help everyone out...you gotta get it thrown back at you every now and then.

and im on a few message boards...this one is by far the "kindest" one im on. compare it to this other one i frequent....right now, someone on there is pretending to be from a modeling agency and getting a girl who he met on myspace to take scantily clad pics of her for a "photo shoot"... :lol:

 

[Aplunk1]

I'll look into that.

It would be nice to get some grants.

The universities I've applied to aren't very expensive, though. Although, they are both in extremely expensive areas (NY area and Hawaii)

Thanks again

 

[Follically Challenged]

If you want a job that pays well enough, you could be a truck driver. That could allow you to make the money (rather quickly) to get hair transplants. I'm sure that would help you alot with your self-esteem. And would also allow you to bank some money, for whatever you choose to do, education or otherwise.

There are alot of companies that will pay for your training. The lifestyle isn't the greatest but I put alot of money into the stocks, and one day plan to be something. Just a thought.

 

[techprof]

seriously man, get a degree no matter what. I don't give a f***, if you shave, grow your hair, use a combover, do drugs, alcohol, go to pimps.

I was born in a low-income family in India and I can tell you one thing. There is only one person who could stop you from becoming successful. That is you. This country respects people based on their work irrespective of how they look. Or else why would I be in this country (Asian Indian) and be in a position to fund american students? You are still young and think that look is the onlything that matters. If you are good , and do a good job you will be recognized for your work. That is why America is the number 1 country in the world today.

I know of students who were raised by single moms who go to 10 different houses and clean dishes and make a living out of it. These students have no house to live, just sleep on patios of various houses on rotation. They could get a college degree and are able to do well (this is in a third world country).

There are lot of scholarships, lottery money and loans available. You had a good gpa in high school. You will do very well.

To be honest, I am slick bald (was a NW2 when I got married), but I am confident that with my current job position, I can have a better looking girl if I am not married now. (Unfortunately [or fortunately for us baldies] to some extent who you end up as life-partner depends on your social status).

 

[Follically Challenged]

If you get a degree, make sure it's something worthwhile. Philosophy majors should be shot.

 

[Felk]

If you get a degree, make sure it's something worthwhile. Philosophy majors should be shot.

...why? Is it because the ones you've met are pretentious or something?

Because, philosophy is perhaps the most useful thing anyone can ever learn.

 

[Aplunk1]

I took a philosophy course, and it's definitely a career of which I will not pursue.

I'm trying to get into several colleges....

Really, pray for me, guys, that this college situation works out.

If not, I can always wait tables out here in Las Vegas... something that I'd really hate to do for a living.

I'm also considering saving up for a hairline transplant at Armani or H&W, which might be a short-term cure for my self-esteem.

 

[Follically Challenged]

I'm getting a hairline transplant in about a month from Alvi Armani. He says he's giving me a reduced rate at 7700 Cdn. (That's more than 7000 US)

Taking philosphy in university is retarded. The idea of going to school is to get a good job. You cna read some Kierkegard on your own time if philosphy is important to you. Or take a class at university. But a degree in it will get you nowhere, unless you want to become a teacher or something.

 

[Follically Challenged]

Aplunk,

Ever thought about being a postal carrier? I like the idea of easy, decent paying jobs where you are on your own the great majority of the time.

 

[mu0325]

I'm learning to accept and cope with my hairloss.

In fact, I'm honestly thinking about saying "f*** it," and shaving my head-- with a Clippers to a zero guard. I'll continue to use treatments, though.

My shedding has been slowly increasing. I've been shedding about 30 hairs daily, now. It sucks. I can't avoid it... They're mostly thin, wispy hairs, but I get terminal hairs every now and then.

I'm learning to accept my hairloss.

I'm learning to accept my lifestyle.

I'm learning to accept that God is punishing me.

I'm learning to accept that I was born to an angry and abusive father, and an emotional and often unmaneagable mother.

I'm learning to accept that I will not be able to afford college.

I'm learning to accept that people don't accept me on the basis of my character, but by the looks.

I'm learning to accept that I was born with bad skin.

I'm learning to accept that women truly are shallow, and that "good" women are too few and hard to find.

I'm learning to accept that I am a failure, and that I must do everything in my life ALONE, and without ANYBODY to help me.

I'm learning to accept that I'll be on anti-depressants for the rest of my life and still be unhappy.

I'm learning to accept that I've had a bad childhood, eating disorders, repressed memories, and trauma.

I'm learning to accept that I will no longer be of much value to society because of my life, lifestyle, psycholical conditions, and my looks.

I'm learning to accept that I will NOT be financially stable.

I'm learning to accept that nobody will love my unconditionally, and never has.

Throughout my entire life, I've been told over and over that I am guilty of one thing or another... I've listened to to many people about what I SHOULD be, or what I SHOULD do... I've always been put down by my father, and I no longer maintain communication with my extended family (and my father, for that matter), even though I TRY to communicate...

God, you have stabbed me and knifed out my heart... and I've bled into unhappy acceptance...

If you are out there, then please correct my life or kill me.


People hate me on the basis of WHO I AM.

People hate me... and I've always considered myself a kind, compassionate, and respected person...

I've been told how I'm wrong and always been wrong.

I've been WRONGED by society.

Well, f*** YOU, SOCIETY.

f*** ALL YOU SHALLOW BASTARDS out there.

f*** you for ruining other people's lives...

f*** you for all the trauma you've caused the youth.

f*** you for all the time you've spent destroying this young man's life.

f*** you.

This is kinda guy you wanna avoid because most likely he got human bodies in the basement...

hey dude its not good to say that about yourself...
you are the one who decides who you are or who are going to be so suck it up and face it like a MAN