I Kicked Hair's ***! You Can Too! Read...

[IKickedHairsAss]

Hey, I am a long time reader and a first time poster.

In my 20s I was balding. I started balding in the back of my head at age 18. I remember it wasn't very noticeable until I used hair gel. In the sun, I'll never forget the first time a girl said "Wow, you're balding." It shook me to the core. I remember asking my buddies "It's because I'm blonde right, it's just the sun light."

They looked at me and said "No dude, it looks pretty thin back there." So I stopped using hair gel and no one ever mentioned it again until I was about 20. I started working as a coach at Boys club. One of the kids said "You're looking kind of thin up there." I was getting a receding hairline. I started wearing a hat every day. I was a P.E. coach by age 22 and I just wore a hat all the time. One day, at age 24, I won Employee of the Year. I was voted by my peers, I was very gregarious and social. I had to give a speech. I wanted to wear my hat, but they said, "No, you can't wear a hat at a banquet." I remember some of the teachers had never seen me without a hat, I was so embarrassed. I remember a young Kindergarten teacher said, "Wow, you're too young." As if she were mourning me, as if I were dead. To hell with her.

One day, I was at a hotel and I happened to get a glance at the very top of my head in a mirror. At this point I was 28 and I would get a 2 guard on the side, fade it into the crown of my head, and have them scissor cut the top. I remember the lady cutting my hair was flirting with me when I had my ball cap on. When I removed it, she was saying mean things. I just laughed it off, I wanted to leave and not pay for my haircut. Anyway, I was at this hotel, and I saw my head. I remember thinking I looked like a 45 year old tax man or banker. I was a 28 year old kid.

I started becoming less social. You have to understand, I was a very social person. I became a recluse. I didn't want to go anywhere, do anything, see anyone. My confidence was so low. Then, one day I just decided to shave my head. I started working out, I started running, I gained muscle, lost fat, and just shaved my head. Then I grew a beard. It was like I had an epiphany at age 30. I wish I had done this in my early 20s.

I said "FU** OFF HAIR!" I made my scalp my little b**ch. I shave it, moisturize my scalp, I get adequate amount of sun (just a little every day, it tans over a period of time) using sunscreen. My profile pic is me.

I was reading about how only black or latin guys look good with a shaved head. Go FU** yourself you self righteous bastards who think that. I spent my 20s trying to hide who I was. I am 31 and for the last year, I have had more confidence than I did at 21. I am 6'4'' and in shape, I get tons of attention from females WITHOUT my hat. I'm here to tell you, don't worry about Hair Loss treatment or substances, or whatever. Be BALD and BEAUTIFUL my friends. Kick your hair's ***. Don't let that sh** control you.

Hell yeah!

 

[BaldyBalderBald]

Thx for your testimonial dude, glad it worked out for you
But you came to the wrong place for a "Just shave it and be confident bro !" advise

 

[IKickedHairsAss]

Thx for your testimonial dude, glad it worked out for you
But you came to the wrong place for a "Just shave it and be confident bro !" advise

I understand and empathize with everyone, I promise. I'm just telling you to HELL with people who make you less confident and just be bold. I feel free. I was shackled under that hat for almost 10 years. I just threw all my hats away except a few expensive ones I wear occasionally.

 

[Erland]

I understand and empathize with everyone, I promise. I'm just telling you to HELL with people who make you less confident and just be bold. I feel free. I was shackled under that hat for almost 10 years. I just threw all my hats away except a few expensive ones I wear occasionally.

...and to HELL with people who cares more about that your hair looks like sh*t than you. Balding is not fun but if people with issues themselves didn't seek salvation in pushing down others then we all would be happy.

 

[IKickedHairsAss]

...and to HELL with people who cares more about that your hair looks like sh*t than you. Balding is not fun but if people with issues themselves didn't seek salvation in pushing down others then we all would be happy.

Exactly! You need only to be happy with yourself. You can't please everyone. People who are assholes to you because of a balding head have their own issues on the inside.

 

[buckthorn]

I actually enjoy threads like this and I am glad you're happy... It's just for some people it's a lot different. They don't end up looking like you do. They look like frail, pale aliens with zero body mass. When they shave they go from a normal looking guy to just looking terrible. What advice would you have for them?

 

[DHTpolice]

I am 6'4'' and in shape, I get tons of attention from females WITHOUT my hat. I'm here to tell you, don't worry about Hair Loss treatment or substances, or whatever. Be BALD and BEAUTIFUL my friends. Kick your hair's ***. Don't let that sh** control you.

Hell yeah!

You deserve a dislike.

 

[IKickedHairsAss]

I actually enjoy threads like this and I am glad you're happy... It's just for some people it's a lot different. They don't end up looking like you do. They look like frail, pale aliens with zero body mass. When they shave they go from a normal looking guy to just looking terrible. What advice would you have for them?

I feel as if attraction is symmetry.

One of the things I learned in Post Graduate School (I went back to get my Masters Degree in Psychology) attraction is comprised a few key components.

A) Symmetry. The most attractive people in the world have a symmetrical look. One of the reasons a goatee or beard help is because it brings the focus of the eyes to where the hair is. If you trim your beard with angular lines that compliment your chin/jaw structure, then the focus of the eyes are on your lips, neck, and lower half of your face. When you shave your head completely, it looks planned, or groomed. It doesn't look unnatural or unruly. When things are patchy and not planned, your eyes directly go to the problem area.

B) Self confidence. Women since the cavemen times have looked for mates who they can procreate with that are strong. Strong can take on many meanings. Sex is biologically for pro-creation and attraction is natural selection. If you are unattractive, nature is saying "don't mate with this one." However, if you have self confidence, you are sending body language that says "I'm important. I like myself, others should like me too." It tricks them into being interested. Self conscious people give off the vibe, "I don't even like myself" therefore her brain is saying, "What is he hiding? Red flag! Something isn't right. He's hiding a flaw!" So she gets uncomfortable and wants to leave.

C) Personality. When I went through my depression between age 26-29, I wasn't fun to be around. People even said so. I didn't even like myself. When you have confidence, it bleeds over into your personality. Making a girl laugh, or showing you are intelligent are also 'mate-able' tools men have. It goes back to biology, girls want to procreate with men who are either 'Providers' (and that means intelligent or strong) and who will make good fathers/husbands (Nice, and makes them laugh) because women didn't want to have to raise a baby alone. This has nothing to do with getting a girl knocked up, it's just the way their brains are wired subconsciously and why they do or don't find you attractive.

Hair loss is considered unattractive because your brain has been taught 'age = can't get me pregnant" or "age = can't provide". So the reason a bald man with a beard, and in shape looks better is because it gives off the appearance that you can still provide. Look, you can't cure male pattern baldness. So if you really want to do something you can "control" then have the discipline to work out, get in shape, grow some facial hair to take the focus off your head and shave your balding scalp.

Just do what you have control over.

 

[IKickedHairsAss]

You deserve a dislike.

Why do you feel that way?

 

[Funkymonk1]

I actually enjoy threads like this and I am glad you're happy... It's just for some people it's a lot different. They don't end up looking like you do. They look like frail, pale aliens with zero body mass. When they shave they go from a normal looking guy to just looking terrible. What advice would you have for them?

The fact is the vast majority of guys look terrible with no hair or they at least lose a couple of points. I can tell you mean well @IKickedHairsAss but it's a bit naïve to say "just be more confident" when what people see in the mirror is precisely what's destroying their confidence in the first place. You can say this because you're one of the lucky ones who actually suits baldness and once you realised this, of course, you regained your confidence but for those who have genuinely lost their looks the only thing that will restore their confidence is getting their hair back.

 

[buckthorn]

You seem like a good dude, so I wouldn't personally dislike your post. I think I understand what the guy with the 12 year old girl avatar is saying though. You have to admit, it's very easy for YOU, being 6'4", ripped, with a perfect head shape and facial structure, to say these things. It's simple. Would you REALLY feel the same if you were 5'5", couldn't grow facial hair, were pale as f*** and had an alien head? No, you would NOT be this optimistic, at all. It's impossible to be legitimately happy in a shallow world when your ugly as f***.

sooo... your post just doesn't apply to or help many of the users here.

 

[IKickedHairsAss]

The fact is the vast majority of guys look terrible with no hair or they at least lose a couple of points. I can tell you mean well @IKickedHairsAss but it's a bit naïve to say "just be more confident" when what people see in the mirror is precisely what's destroying their confidence in the first place. You can say this because you're one of the lucky ones who actually suits baldness and once you realised this, of course, you regained your confidence but for those who have genuinely lost their looks the only thing that will restore their confidence is getting their hair back.

I'm sorry if I offended anyone. I genuinely wanted to share. I did struggle with that demon in my 20s. I got so depressed at age 26-29 I was having passive thoughts of death all the time "I wonder if I should die" but I wrangled that bull by his balls and took control of my life the best way I know how! I do hope baldness is cured one day, I really do.

 

[IKickedHairsAss]

You seem like a good dude, so I wouldn't personally dislike your post. I think I understand what the guy with the 12 year old girl avatar is saying though. You have to admit, it's very easy for YOU, being 6'4", ripped, with a perfect head shape and facial structure, to say these things. It's simple. Would you REALLY feel the same if you were 5'5", couldn't grow facial hair, were pale as f*** and had an alien head? No, you would NOT be this optimistic, at all. It's impossible to be legitimately happy in a shallow world when your ugly as f***.

sooo... your post just doesn't apply to or help many of the users here.

Well, I'm sorry if that is the way I came off. I just wanted to say I understand feeling helpless. It took me 3 years to gradually accept that I could shave my head. For that 3 years, I didn't think I could and I didn't have an answer. I'm not saying you haven't tried it and realized it's not for you, I'm just saying for me personally. That 3 years, when I got really depressed, I felt like there was no hope. So I can empathize with you.

 

[PappinAce]

Why do you feel that way?

i think it’s because not everybody has the luxury of being 6”4 with a naturally handsome face. your advice is good for a select few and i’m glad it worked out for you. but you can’t expect it to apply to everyone. i know you wish it could, but the world is actually quite a bit darker than that.

this is reminiscent of the american philosophy of “pull yourself up by the bootstraps (as long as you fall into the correct demographic)”

it’s unfortunate but some of us need to learn to be okay with the idea of being alone until death. there are other ways to make a positive impact on this world, but this life will not involve a romantic partner for me. better to learn to adjust to that realistic expectation and focus on what i CAN do, instead of chasing phantoms.

 

[IKickedHairsAss]

i think it’s because not everybody has the luxury of being 6”4 with a naturally handsome face. your advice is good for a select few and i’m glad it worked out for you. but you can’t expect it to apply to everyone. i know you wish it could, but the world is actually quite a bit darker than that.

this is reminiscent of the american philosophy of “pull yourself up by the bootstraps (as long as you fall into the correct demographic)”

it’s unfortunate but some of us need to learn to be okay with the idea of being alone until death. there are other ways to make a positive impact on this world, but this life will not involve a romantic partner for me. better to learn to adjust to that realistic expectation and focus on what i CAN do, instead of chasing phantoms.

Well said. There are more things important in this crazy world than relationships anyway. The people with the most impact in history aren't always the most handsome or good looking. There are people starving, dying, mental health issues, being mistreated, abused, etc... there is so much good we can all do.

I volunteer at Ronald McDonald house to help cook for families that cannot leave their children in the ICU and NICU. We prepare free meals and they can stay with their terminally ill children and not have to afford food or leave to eat.

 

[bluemoon1212]

I've never had trouble picking up women, but here's my take.
I feel like confidence in anything is gained through constructive conditioning and positive feedback from an action or task. It isn't just something that can be mustered from within without some foundation to base it on. It's also not some blanket terminology that can be attributed to all things equally, especially something as variable as human interaction.
People who attempt to force what they believe "confidence" to be in the eyes of others end up looking foolish and contrived. It either seems way too calculated or pales in comparison to someone who is honestly confident in the manner of their social interactions.

The problem is, a lot of the people on this site, and in life, aren't socially equipped to present themselves like this. If they use some tactic to appear confident, it just seems like an out of tune broken record, repeating some one dimensional, vague interpretation of what they believe humans to be like; kind of like an alien trying to mimic a person.
The facade may work once or twice, but it depletes pretty rapidly after that, because socializing is a fluid, dynamic experience, and repeatedly playing the same hand of cards amounts to jack sh*t once everyone knows you're bluffing. No one thing fits the bill, and it's foolish to expect anyone to be confident in such a task without having any reason to be.

 

[DHTpolice]

You seem like a good dude, so I wouldn't personally dislike your post. I think I understand what the guy with the 12 year old girl avatar is saying though. You have to admit, it's very easy for YOU, being 6'4", ripped, with a perfect head shape and facial structure, to say these things. It's simple. Would you REALLY feel the same if you were 5'5", couldn't grow facial hair, were pale as f*** and had an alien head? No, you would NOT be this optimistic, at all. It's impossible to be legitimately happy in a shallow world when your ugly as f***.

sooo... your post just doesn't apply to or help many of the users here.

Actually, she was 17-19 y. o. I am not a pedophile.
UPD: 19-20 y. o.

 

[bluemoon1212]

Also, a lot of the people come here to soak in a tub of pity with like-minded individuals. They perceive any positive attempt at bettering yourself as "coping" and attach the word "cel" to any given term to reiterate the futility of action vs. reward, which, apparently, is inherently derived only from sexual interactions with females. They lack this, so they demonize others.

It's pervasive. Every forum believes its issue to be the bane of a fruitful existence and they'd rather wallow in the dysfunction it causes, rather than better themselves in any way.

 

[tomJ]

I like the guys intentions here for sure! However, I have to point out that he has other tools to access that many of us simply were never born with. His post picks up people who have tools to work with and kind of throw gas on those that dont. He does have great intentions however. Maybe he could offer to have people message him with their situation (what tools they have) and he could offer his advice on how they could improve their lives. He is intelligent so why not.

 

[PappinAce]

Also, a lot of the people come here to soak in a tub of pity with like-minded individuals. They perceive any positive attempt at bettering yourself as "coping" and attach the word "cel" to any given term to reiterate the futility of action vs. reward, which, apparently, is inherently derived only from sexual interactions with females. They lack this, so they demonize others.

It's pervasive. Every forum believes its issue to be the bane of a fruitful existence and they'd rather wallow in the dysfunction it causes, rather than better themselves in any way.

Ghandi was just civil rights-celling to compensate for his NW6. The independence movement was the cope of the century to make up for the fact that he couldn't get laid!