Happier than ever

[TinSoldier]

Hi,

I used to peruse these forums often.. everyday I'd scrutinise my head of hair in the mirror and my heart would sink. It was killing me. You all know the feeling. It was an obsession and I was depressed. I spent probably over two thousand dollars on minoxidil, finasteride, spironolactone, etc etc.. over years.. they worked to some extent definitely, but they weren't stopping my problem, only delaying it. Making me grasp onto every pathetic hair that I had left. In the end I quite all hairloss meds, because even though they were helping me keep some of my hair, they were also making me care about my hair more than was healthy. Plus I think the finasteride was affecting my mental health badly.

I started dating a lot about two years ago (thanks Tinder). I went through many ups and downs but ultimately found an amazing girlfriend. My hair was pretty bad by the time we first met, as I had been off meds for about 2 months.. but she also happened to be the hottest girl I've ever dated... I didnt even think I was going to get a second date (a reflection of my own image problems). But, with the confidence I'd gained over the last years of dating, I was able to push through all that. She saw me for who I was, and I suprised to hear her tell me how attracted she was to me. Now she is my girlfriend who loves me very much and I know she doesn't care what happens to my hair. I wear it buzzed short now and it actually looks better than I expected. Of course I'd love a full head of hair, and I'm sure she would prefer that too, but life is full of compromises and in the scheme of things the hair on your head is so insigificant. Not caring is like a weight lifted off my shoulders..and its a free solution. I'm more confident and productive in my life and focus on things I want to, like work and being a good boyfriend. I look back on my days obsessing over hair as a dark time in my past and ashamed of who I was. It's hard to embrace it, but your mind, soul and wallet will be better off for it.

Anyway, that's my success story and I hope it can be inspirational to others in their hairloss journey.

Peace

 

[g.i joey]

inspirational.

 

[whatevr]

To each his own I guess.

 

[Bagels]

Would love to buzz it but I dont have the facial and head shape to pull it off. Glad you're feeling better.

 

[TinSoldier]

Whatever Fred. Enjoy fighting your battle. I've won mine and I'm glad it's over and I hope others can follow me, it's worth it.

 

[Bred Pittsburgh]

Great to hear that you are happy. Hope you will not have regrets as you age. Please think about it because Fred has a point here I guess.

@Fred: There must be some women for whom hair is rather secondary... of course every women cares about the hair of her boyfriend/husband but not to the degree that they would find so unattractive that they will go on searching for someone else for that reason.

 

[Wolf Pack]

Belgian strikes with the voice of doom

 

[Tumi1509]

Tin, don't give up on your fight man. Look at my thread. When you are young there is still hope at recovery.

 

[GodisnotBald]

The reality is that,

If you date a hot girl with a severe hairloss, and are quite happy; you would be way happier and date an even hotter & nicer girl if NW1

 

[HLT Bulllet Wake]

Can someone please tell me how to make my own post, for the life of me I cant find a button or tab to allow me to post in the introduction section. I looked through that FAQ and all it says is there is a reply to thread option which I see on other peoples posts but I cant find one to make my own post. I consider myself somewhat computer smart but this one is really throwing me for a loop. thx

:lost:

 

[Tumi1509]

Can someone please tell me how to make my own post, for the life of me I cant find a button or tab to allow me to post in the introduction section. I looked through that FAQ and all it says is there is a reply to thread option which I see on other peoples posts but I cant find one to make my own post. I consider myself somewhat computer smart but this one is really throwing me for a loop. thx

:lost:

You need 5 posts.

 

[HLT Bulllet Wake]

You need 5 posts.

Thank you very much! :salut:

 

[bugekubie]

Oh god. Congratulations, you've managed to be wrong about absolutely everything in this post.

Sometimes I wish I had taken the blue pill, so I could live in a world of pleasant illusions like you.

I almost forgot:

Wait until you're bald.

Let that man be happy bruh. not caring about your hair is better than caring. Its our own insecurities as to why we even care.

 

[big_head]

At first I thought Fred was being a real downer but I understand where he is coming from, and I still "have hair" in this sense that most women would not look at me as bald yet.

When you're receding and you're between a NW2-NW3, you still look like you have hair. Not as full as a 17 year old maybe, but you do. And you can style it, cut it short, buzz it. The option is there. Your girl might be fine with it.

But what happens if you get so thin or make it to a Norwood 5 like Fred said? Will your girlfriend still be "fine" with it? There is no way to know because women are completely fickle and can turn on a dime for something as seemingly unimportant as hair.

Another thing that Fred is pointing out is that maybe you did find one of the few girls who truly do not care about hair. She loves you for you, which is great. But if you honestly think there is no chance you two will ever break up, you are delusional. You have to be aware that either your or her could end the relationship at any time for any reason. And let's say you two break up in 4 years when you are much balder.

Now you are back in the dating game. Tinder, OK Cupid, wherever. You're now a completely bald guy. Can you find another attractive woman who will overlook your lack of hair? Maybe. But that's just another huge obstacle you put in front of your self. You're now a bit older, much balder, and hotter younger women don't want that. You find yourself chasing someone as least as hot as your last chick and you can't get anyone you find remotely attractive, and then you regret "letting it go".

I don't get it myself. For a while I had the hormone worries about finasteride but I am finally taking the plunge in the coming weeks. I waited close to 3 years longer than I should have. Debating whether or not I was balding. Convincing myself it was my diet or that it wasn't getting worse. That it was not worth breaking my dick over. But I never understood "accepting" it. Or "embracing" it. When I can treat it.

Now, like most of us, I wish I could go back to when I first noticed it and jump on finasteride immediately. My hair is considerably thinner.

Anyway, just try to think about that. And think about the fact that even your current girlfriend might find you more attractive if she knows that you're at least halting the progression of your balding. It's great you have accepted yourself, many of us can't even do that, even the ones who can salvage most of our hair. But reality is reality.

 

[ryan82]

Hi,

I used to peruse these forums often.. everyday I'd scrutinise my head of hair in the mirror and my heart would sink. It was killing me. You all know the feeling. It was an obsession and I was depressed. I spent probably over two thousand dollars on minoxidil, finasteride, spironolactone, etc etc.. over years.. they worked to some extent definitely, but they weren't stopping my problem, only delaying it. Making me grasp onto every pathetic hair that I had left. In the end I quite all hairloss meds, because even though they were helping me keep some of my hair, they were also making me care about my hair more than was healthy. Plus I think the finasteride was affecting my mental health badly.

I started dating a lot about two years ago (thanks Tinder). I went through many ups and downs but ultimately found an amazing girlfriend. My hair was pretty bad by the time we first met, as I had been off meds for about 2 months.. but she also happened to be the hottest girl I've ever dated... I didnt even think I was going to get a second date (a reflection of my own image problems). But, with the confidence I'd gained over the last years of dating, I was able to push through all that. She saw me for who I was, and I suprised to hear her tell me how attracted she was to me. Now she is my girlfriend who loves me very much and I know she doesn't care what happens to my hair. I wear it buzzed short now and it actually looks better than I expected. Of course I'd love a full head of hair, and I'm sure she would prefer that too, but life is full of compromises and in the scheme of things the hair on your head is so insigificant. Not caring is like a weight lifted off my shoulders..and its a free solution. I'm more confident and productive in my life and focus on things I want to, like work and being a good boyfriend. I look back on my days obsessing over hair as a dark time in my past and ashamed of who I was. It's hard to embrace it, but your mind, soul and wallet will be better off for it.

Anyway, that's my success story and I hope it can be inspirational to others in their hairloss journey.

Peace

Same happend to me! Its best to love yourself and going forward with your life. Thinking about how bad your hair is will not give a solution. Maybe more hair loss. Great post, i hope more people will realize it.

 

[Ramzii]

My dating life doesn't affect me really, Im so relaxed on these things guys. Im new to this forum, i have alopecia too!!!

 

[Moment]

nice

nice

 

[JaySizzle]

Wow Fred, you never cease being the Debbie Downer of the forums eh? I guess it's a common thing on this forum.. Instead of being Hairlosstalk, this forum should be called "suicidalbaldguys". Just because YOU are miserable and hate life, doesn't men everyone else will. With your outlook, 50% of men should jump off a bridge just because they are follicularly challenged.

 

[hellouser]

I'm not miserable, and I love life. Why does being a realist necessarily means that you're miserable and that you hate life?



Wrong. In fact, studies have clearly shown that looks and personality are the same thing, because of the halo effect.

In a survey, girls were asked to rate looks and personality separately:

The girls thought the guys who were the most handsome had the best personality.

And that the guys who were the ugliest must have had a horrible personality.

In short: looks = personality. You're welcome.

And with that comment, this thread has reached a level of 'case closed'.

 

[big_head]

I think it's important that people keep in mind that I, at least, am not saying bald men can't look great or that no woman will want you if you are bald.

What I (and I think the others) are saying is that it matters. It's a handicap. Why on earth as an average looking man would you want to make it even harder for you to get laid or find a girlfriend? Is it that consoling to you that a woman will settle for you as a long term partner because you are stable and make good money? Sorry to break it to you but once you are married, the sex will slow down. If she isn't physically attracted to you, she is not going to to WANT to have sex with you even if you are husband.

And yes, I work out and groom myself and dress decent. My thinning hair is STILL A NEGATIVE. In the Tinder era it matters even more than it ever has. It's a big negative that will make getting a girl for sex or a relationship that much harder. There is nothing noble in making things much harder for no reason.

So again, is it impossible to get women while bald? No. But it's much harder and I have no clue why you would "embrace" that. If you have NO CHOICE then you must ACCEPT it. But that is a much much different story than giving up when you still have hair and believing the BS society feeds to you. You gotta stop believing the fairy tale.