Buzzed Hair Down To 1mm And Stopped Visiting Hair Forums

[hairblues]

But according to some here, there's always a way. I don't believe that.

Like with hair loss, sometimes you have to admit that there's no solution, no way you're going to win.

For some people theirs is a way--Not for everyone and its' not based solely on looks or hair or genetics. A lot of things come into play.

Can you do it? No probably not or you would be doing it by now since you said you tried often to figure this out..its not about figuring sh*t out.

Its not solely based on your looks.

Can the kid who started this post who feels happy and upbeat do it? Possibly.

 

[hairblues]

Thank you.

I go to meetups from time to time and it led to some nights out with a group of people I formed there, but it didn't last long.

The relationships we try to form after university are extremely fragile.

Say "just go out there and meet people" when you're 27 years old is easier said than done.



What I said was not a matter of opinion.

Sometimes, there are problems with no solutions.

Situations you're not going to be able to 'make right' again.

Like when my girlfriend told me about her abortion. I thought:

"OK our relationship is definitely fucked."

I still did what I could within reason, but deep down, I already knew: there was no fixing that problem.

Yet you still have some of my relatives telling me: "Maybe if you had gone to her place unannounced a second time, and poured your heart out!"

People want to believe every problem has a solution, if you really put your hear in it. This is not true unfortunately.

Know which battles to pick, and know when you should give up.

Fred-- i truly believe you found what is working for you in dating and relationships. And you should stick with it..im not trying to talk you out of what is working for 'you'.

I do not think any woman will be able to hurt you like that again--not quite that badly.

You were smart not to keep pursuing her there really is no coming back from something like that.
There was nothing you could have done.
In a situation like that no one could have done anything to make that go different.

 

[AngrySam]

As far as Fred goes, he subscribes to a very extreme, pseudo-scientific notion of genetic deteterminism. He genuinely believes that people form friendships based on information encoded in our body odour and facial structure, and that certain people are destined to get along/not get along based on this. It makes sense if you view his thought process as being oriented around rationalizing his life outcomes. If someone does not like him he's not at fault; it was genes all along! I like him in general but many of his views are ludicrous if taken at face value.

That's the impression I got as well. Fred seems to be using hairloss and genetic looks as a blanket get out clause. This prevents him from having any power over whether people\women are attracted to him or not. Its all predestined - nothing he can do about it. It prevents him from having to look inwards, work on himself in a deeper way then just applying a hair tonic. I don't dispute looks are important, they clearly are. There is also nothing wrong with maximizing your looks - but in my opinion whats underneath matters every bit as much. If your looking for something serious and long term it matters more.

So I would simply advocate spending at least the same amount of time you work on the physical working on you - your personality, your approach with people, pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and learning to turn some of the weaknesses you identify in your personality into strengths. Being social, learning to connect with people in a fun and friendly way are all skills that will take you far in life - not just with women in the bedroom.

 

[AngrySam]

I have a few friends who are legit ugly, and one of them is an extremely funny (seriously, that guy could make me die laughing) and outgoing guy, yet people often give him sh*t for no reason, he's always the last to get invited to parties, and people say in front of him: "Yeah, we wanted to see if there was some room left, then we thought, let's invite him!"

So, is it deterministic craziness, or just the sad reality? Looking back, I've never really had to work on my social skills. If you had a hidden camera on my 5th date and on my 75th date, you would be able to see the girls both have an equally great time.

I don't think social skills can really be improved. I believe your value is predetermined and you just have to put yourself out there to gauge it, and then that's it.

So here is the case in point of what I just posted. This ^^^ is simply a get out clause. I don't think you truly believe it either. Its just a front to allow you to avoid having to confront and work on some of your shortcomings. Its much easier to blame it on hair - hoping a magic tonic will make you attractive to others rather then having to do any hard work. You can mold your body into something more attractive by going to the gym - you can do the same with your personality, social skills, ability to meet people, form friendships, dating skills, ability to pick up women, etc etc. You have a basic level of aptitude - but all these can be grown considerably with effort.

I have a number of good friends who would be considered "Average - to ugly looking guys". Most of them bat way above their average with women based on physical appearance alone because they are seriously cool guys who developed themselves in other ways. I have a couple of others who are good looking - but bat below their average.

Think about it, if you became a NW5, would your social skills still matter that much?

My best friend is a completely slick bald guy. Hes been that way since early 20's. He had to work a bit harder then some with women initially but he still got more then his fair share because he's one of the legit coolest, friendliest, down to earth good guys you will ever meet. He's engaged to a hot german fashion designer ..... an industry where appearances are important. I'm going to be a groomsman at his wedding next year. Your current view of the world and the way it works will completely limit the possibilities for your life.

 

[AngrySam]

So think having a good social life should be the product of hard work? That's quite sad. People who have good social lives didn't work their *** off to get it. It just came to them.

Haha your outlook is very odd - but hey if that's what you truly believe go with it. Everyone was born with a fixed set of attributes which can't be improved on, trained or honed into something better. Funny thing is you advocated further up the thread for "science" and "evidence" and there are entire scientific fields that show this view to be completely false.

I mean the first time you tried to ride a bike it was really easy right - just felt natural? No effort required? It wasn't the process of actively learning the task and repetitively practicing it that made it eventually feel very easy and natural was it ? I'd suggest you do some reading on cognitive neuro science and how learning works. Through repetitively activating neural pathways a task or activity we initially have difficulty with goes from requiring manual effort to becoming subconscious, automatic and natural. Its called neural-plasticity and this is how humans learn new skills and make them become second nature. Practice and repetition. That's how footballers like messi become stars - thats how great actors hone their craft - thats how business men become successful CEO's. That's how guys who are great with women learn to be that way. You start with an inherrint baseline and how much you improve from there is up to you.

They have good self-esteem, they're confident in their abilities, they like the way they look (mostly because they have hair) and then everything comes naturally. I don't see why they should 'work hard' for something that's supposed to be natural. We're social animals after all, no need to reinvent the wheel.

For some yes maybe its completely natural just like for some people growing hair is completely natural. I don't see why others should put so much hard work into trying to grow hair. We are biological animals no need to interfere with growing hair and reinvent the wheel

If an attribute has value - it makes sense for us to dedicate an appropriate amount of time into developing it. Hair whilst requiring time - is relatively easy because it doesn't really ask much of us. Take these pills, use this hair product. Get this surgery.

The other skills like learning to be social require us to perhaps face some of our fears head on. Fear of rejection, being shy, being awkward, being vunerable. Having to feel those emotions we normally try to avoid and overcome them to master the skill and make it natural. Not quite so easy for some. Some would prefer to completely avoid these and focus only on areas that require minimal effort.

Thats not how exceptional people are made though which is something you seem to be intent on becoming....

You won't find a job if you're average. No way. Well, some people win the lottery.

You need to be exceptional in some way to find a job, otherwise, no employer is ever going to take a second look at you..

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Genetics and phenotype are not the same thing.

Whether genes express themselves is a function of environment.

 

[Jimbo5]

And holy does it make you not care as much anymore about what people think about you. I used to visit this place everyday and always get a sense of dread about my hair. I hardly come here now, keep my hair super short, and it feels so much better. I do not know why it took me so long to realize forums like this has just a bunch of negative people that are so alluded to blame hairloss to all their problems. It really brings people down. Just wanted to let you guys know there is such a brighter side if you stop caring. Byee

Edit: I want to say that I learned a lot on this forum and there are a few people on this forum that spoke with reason and had a positive outlook on things. Dench, Buckthorn, and Roberto come to mind. I probably will come here for the next few days just to see if anyone comments on this post, then very rarely come back.

Wow, you must have a pretty weak mind if you can't handle a bunch of anonymous opinions without having to completely shut off the board...

 

[alexpie2]

Wow, you must have a pretty weak mind if you can't handle a bunch of anonymous opinions without having to completely shut off the board...

I'd say the opposite; majority of people on here are too afraid to buzz/shave their head. Also to clarify, my peace of mind came mainly from buzzing my head, not from the absence of this forum.