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Being a Teen with no hair...

Discussion in 'Alopecia Totalis and Universalis Support' started by Unorthodox Teen, Jul 27, 2009.

  1. Unorthodox Teen

    Unorthodox Teen New Member

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    I have alopecia and this is my story.

    i'm a teenager, soon to be senior, and i first started to lose my hair at the age of only 6 yrs old. I've had doctors tell my parents i was purposely pulling my hair out, which was definitely not the case. So i went into numerous treatments and went to numerous doctors to figure out what was going on and how this could be treated.

    Nothing ever work for me. I entered first grade with no hair what so ever and had to deal with all sorts of teasing, bullying, and torment. (And this bullying was mainly from kids in higher grades than I). I would come home crying everyday and have to tell my family about what had happened. I now think back on how hard it must have been for my mom, especially to see her only daughter cry everyday and not being able to do anything about it. She'd talked to the prinicipal about my bullies but the principal did nothing. So my family thought it best to try a different school that was a bit smaller. This school was much much better. My teacher told the kids in the class about me and what was happening and they stared a bit but finally got to know me and i finally felt accepted. there would be the odd remark from others about my hair but hey, it was better than the constant teasing i used to always get.
    And now i've just realized that i've rambled on sorry.
    So fast forwarding through, i made new friends who didnt care, but went to a new school because of some family reasons and had horrible teasing, but not as worse as when i was only in 1st grade. So i again moved to another school and i got stares but i made friends. i've had some ask if i had alopecia, but since it was still a sensitive topic i would just say "no', its definitely not their business. By this time i had been wearing a wig for 4-5 years.
    So i had no hair anywhere and what made me people stare was my no eyebrows or eyelashes. But through my years i've had hair regrow on my head...but then fall out again. But now i've had my eyebrows and eyelashes for maybe 2-3 yrs and im so proud of them, haha. In my years i've had people say "oooh, i just love your hair! its so gorgeous!!" and i smile and say thanks, which i think is hilarious since HA, its a wig :].

    My friends now are used to me, though i havent openly told them that i wear a wig, they've heard rumors but look past it and dont bring it up. But i do know that they probably have a feeling about it. Most days now its just a normal routine day and i dont think anything weird of it to have a wig. But i do break down a 1-3 times a year. I even have my doubts about whether any guy could like me if i wear a wig, because i mean come on its not exactly typical girlfriend material. However; I've learned to accept it and know that whatever happens, happens. And all i know is that life is hard, tough, and unpredictable........but no one makes it out alive, so do the best with what you have!

    It was hard to write this without crying a few times but it always makes me feel a bit better to remember all i've gone through.

    I'd love to hear your version of having to deal with alopecia, please post if you want!
    thanks for atleast reading this far! :]
     
  2. BodyDysmorphic

    BodyDysmorphic Senior Member

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    im sorry to hear about your alopecia

    welcome to HairLossTalk.com

    i think your very brave writing your story and expressing your feelings

     
  3. PersonGuy

    PersonGuy Established Member

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    Welcome to HairLossTalk.com,

    I'm truly sorry to hear about all you've been through. I'm sure even your earliest memories include life being a constant battle. This is something no person let alone a child should have to go through. I can only hope that at some point in the very near future they come up with something that works for those with your condition. You deserve better. I'm sure the loyal friends you have now help to ease the pain your past may have caused you even though it never fully goes away.

    Until the day when science claps its hands and makes this all better, feel free to come here and vent to people who at the very least understand your situation better than the average person.

    Good luck and thanks for posting.
     
  4. megsomea

    megsomea New Member

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    I'm touched by your story and your spirit. I can relate to some of your experiences with hair loss as well. I lost my hair while in school and have worked to overcome some of the same self-defeating thoughts and questions that you have posed. In many ways, this is a daily battle.. some days good and some days bad. One thing I'd like to say is that you are brave and couragious! You've reached out to talk about this and I am just now starting to do so. You are motivating me and I'd like to talk more about this with you and anyone else on here. I think this support system could be really helpful to us.

    I'm now 25 and a wig wearer who gets those.. "who does your hair... it's gorgeous". Talk about a buzz kill when I have to think of some dumb answer like... my mom since people want the number to my beautician. I feel like giving them the link to wigs.com ha. Really though, people take for granted simple things like going swimming with boys, riding rides at theme parks or even wreastling and flirting.. Because of fear, I've resisted telling potential bf's about my problem.. my wig passes for real hair and most the time it doesn't "come up". Then I try to find the "right time" and the "right time" doesn't come... I've been "dethroned" by a few partners and then woops it's time to talk about it! The truth is... when this has happened, men haven't rejected me. If anything, people are bothered that I didn't trust them. I'm trying to start opening up more and trusting because our fears lay a lot inside us... That seems hard to believe huh? I don't even believe it sometimes but the proof has shown itself when time and time again (since i've been dating now for like 5 years) my hair (or lack there of) wasn't the problem... often my insecurity turned out being more the problem ha. I wish I knew the cure to fighting back the negative self talk... I can tell you this... it's not humor and it's not self-loathing either. I don't think we can make light of this problem or discount all of our other strengths because of a surface level problem. I'm glad there are brave people like you willing to talk about what this is like... it helps us remember that this isn't something that we are having to learn how to cope with alone!!! :) I'm here if you want to continue to share... I know I will keep sharing :)
     
  5. wesleyBelgium

    wesleyBelgium Established Member

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    i would also seek into the option of a wig if my hair falls completly out
    and in schools , you know how it is there, looks are everything there...
     
  6. megsomea

    megsomea New Member

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    I think it's interesting just how hard it is to place value on your other strengths when you feel so vulnerable about one particular thing... No one wants to be stared at and no one wants to feel different... If you can find the right wig you can look better than some people who have real hair lol I've actually met some people and thought, dang they should shave their head and get a wig! And another positive is that people are using extensions and fake hair pieces like crazy these days. It makes it feel "less different". There are a lot of ways to look at it other than, I suck cuz i'm bald ya know?
     
  7. bcapop

    bcapop Established Member

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    Great showing of character Unorthodox Teen.
     
  8. Unorthodox Teen

    Unorthodox Teen New Member

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    Thanks Megan and everyone else!
    It's very encouraging to hear from others about this.
    Reading all your comments really boosted my spirits!!
    Thanks :]
     
  9. hunterfoans

    hunterfoans New Member

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    when my son was in collage a team mate of his got cancer. His treatment left him bald. The whole team shaved their heads so he would not have to feel different. 10 years later I got au at age 53 I was a shave twice a day or have a beard person. My son calls me qtip my friends ask how they can catch it and do away with shaving. When the Doctor told me what I had and I looked at the web sites I thought why would I want to cure it. I live in Maine so I need a warmer hat in winter and had to go to a full face helmet snowmobiling. (no winter beard) I went from high hairline and full beard in April to hairless in Augest My wife of 30 years now says " you have a hair on your chin go shave" I have one of those hats that looks like a visor with hair and my wife keeps saying take that thing off when we go out to a public place. ( the hat keeps my head warm) Go bald and put 30.00 a month that you would spend in hair care in the bank. You will be laughing when you retire. Next watch the startreck movie I think it is voyage back or something with a boy friend and see him drool over the bald actress. Then show him you can look that good to. good luck.
     
  10. FSHGLD

    FSHGLD Established Member

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    I can't imagine caring if a girl had a wig if I still found her physically attractive, and I find most girls with nice bodies attractive....I can't imagine ever wearing a wig myself though..the situation is pretty different for a guy I guess...
     
  11. AUsufferer19

    AUsufferer19 New Member

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    I just want to let you know, ive been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and my hair fell out 9 months ago his completly fine with it, he helped me through it amazing and thought for sure he'd leave me but he didnt he loves me for me, so trust me you will find someone who will accept it because he still thinks your beautiful regarless. Even without my wig, no eyebrows, no fake eyelashes he still tells me im beautiful.

    Also a tip for fake eyelashes, i use revlon ones, they work really well, $10 a pack but so easy to use and the glue is realllly good. I buy them and they last me about a week, i just take them off at night and peel off all the excess glue and use them again the next morning. i put them on and use a light grey eye shadow and put eyeliner on the top and bottom eye, works a treat although sometimes its a bit sore and makes your eyelids dry and sore but not very often!
     
  12. hunterfoans

    hunterfoans New Member

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    hat was a baseball type hat that looked like a visor with the top a wild head of hair. new update on my problem. I have some hair growing. After 1 1/2 years of no hair I came to like it, now I have 1/2 a moustash at 5 pm. even a sideburn on only one side. I had grown to like the Ivory soap shampoo . I am only 54 maybe when I grow up I will worry more about who I am then who I look like. Good luck girl and realy watch the movie voyage home.
     
  13. Ninja_Girl_09

    Ninja_Girl_09 New Member

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    I understand completely Unorthodox Teen,

    When I was a child I lost both of my parents to cancer. I was already a reject in school, then I started to lose my hair. The few friends I did have left me. It was difficult being called names like "Baldy" and "Freak" but I had gotten used to it.
    I moved to Texas and I made friends who knew about my hair loss, but didn't care. I feel like a freak most days, even when they say I'm not.
    I feel I'll never have a boyfriend because the few I almost had left me as soon as they found out.
    I have Alopecia Universialas, I've lost all the hair over my entire body. My hair on my head is growing back, and so are my eyelashes. I also wear a wig. But oftentimes I still have kids, and other people look at me funny. I just feel like a freak to society.
    I just want to feel normal again, you know? Like I fit in. I just feel like such a burden to my friends.

    I try to look on the bright side of life, but it's so hard. I can't even go swimming, because I fear of what people will say.
     
  14. nrsgirl

    nrsgirl New Member

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    I am the mother of a 13 year old son that has not had hair in 5 years. He is so self conscience. It tends to run in my family. My mother, her sister and brother did not have hair. Their mother's brother did not have any hair.

    I don't know how old you are Unorthodox Teen and Ninja_Girl_09 but I hope my son one day has the bravery you have. He is a great boy but does not like to talk about his hair loss. I think it is a little easier for a boy but he feels like he has a blinking sign above him letting everybody know.

    He has decided not to wear a wig. He wears a ball cap. I am a cancer survivor and went 9 months without hair because of chemo so I do understand how you feel, at least short term. It is hard but you can, when you are ready, help so many children that are dealing with the same issue.

    :bravo:
     

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