Been there, done that

[wahoofan22]

Hi guys, I was wasting time on the internet and stumbled across this site today. I'm 35 years old, pretty darn bald (I don't know the technical terms), but I have very thin hair on top, a far-back hairline and a shiny bald spot in the back. I shaved my head down to a buzz a few yeas ago. Anyway, I read some of these posts and it really made me think about what I went through when I started losing my hair around 22 years old or so. I wanted to let you younger guys know that it can, and probably will, get better. You get comfortable with yourself as life goes on.

I lost several great years of my life in my 20's when I was too ashamed to go out and enjoy life. I didn't want any of my friends to see me (especially the girls I went to school with). I broke up with a long term girlfriend that I really loved right before it started to boot. Life was grim. I wore hats all the time. I vividly remember hating getting out of the shower and seeing how it looked. I couldn't go to the pool out of fear of being laughed at. My good friends were always cool about it and never really gave me a hard time.

I was in great shape and worked out all the time. I never gave that up. I would reccomend that you don't either - or start working out. Being physically fit is something that most guys with hair don't have. Plus, chicks dig it.

At one of my lowest points, I met a girl at the bank one day. I couldn't believe she wanted to go out with me. I couldn't hardly bring myself to ask her. After dating for a few months or so, I asked her (and it took all my courage) if she would still love me if I lost all my hair. Her answer was 'of course, don't be silly'. and that did it for me. We've been married for almost 8 years now and have 2 great kids. Life is good.

I post this message for you young guys who think this will never get any better. It can, and probably will. Try not to waste some of your best years in hiding as I did. Age will catch up with everyone someday. I ran into a guy who I didn't like in high school the other day and he was WAY balder than me. I thought it was really hilarious as he was one of the people I didn't want to see when I was going through the rough times. His must have sucked worse than mine.

I would reccommend shaving your head. There are some benefits. You don't really need to dry your hair much and it cuts 5 minutes or so out of your morning routine...though I would really like to use a comb again..it's been years .

Keep your chins up fellas. Once you get older and settled, people don't care that much. Heck, half the guys on my block are bald, married, have kids....really normal lives. You can too. Just have some confidence in who you are and what you want to accomplish.

Best of luck

 

[dietcola]

thanks for the good thoughts man, trying hard to keep my head level on the topic of hair loss. i'm 21 so there are days when it feels like it's beating me down, but i think in the end my better sense is winning. i feel alright, my life is pretty much unchanged by hair loss.

there are however a few guys on here feeling the exact way you were, and not really enjoying life much at all.

 

[roki]

great post - thanks for sharing
but i must state few things:
i and i think also many others know this allready - i know that one day it will matter much less i know that most people will eventually go bald and be in one line with me but that dosent help that much now,im 23 and i want to look my age
i guess what im saying is that hairloss is exetremly hard for some people as it was for you and i dont think that knowing that it will be better in the future makes it much easier in the present

 

[Guest]

Well, how do we actually know that it gets better? wahoofan was lucky to find a nice wife but many of us will end up as frustrated singles. If you know that there will always be someone there for you it is much easier to deal with hairloss but if you don´t have a significant other it is very easy to become desperate....

Nevertheless good luck for you and thanks for sharing!

 

[dietcola]

Well, how do we actually know that it gets better? wahoofan was lucky to find a nice wife but many of us will end up as frustrated singles. If you know that there will always be someone there for you it is much easier to deal with hairloss but if you don´t have a significant other it is very easy to become desperate....

Nevertheless good luck for you and thanks for sharing!

there are women for all types of men, and i say women because i mean the plural of woman. every guy, fat, thin, bald, HIV infected, whatever, can find women.

 

[wahoofan22]

sorry if my message came across the wrong way. I know what it's like and I was just trying to offer some perspective that could possibly help just a little bit. I know there's nothing that is going to truly make you feel better right now.

Best of luck getting through this.

 

[Martaveli]

im only 19 and it ruined my life. thank you for the kind words wahoo.

 

[Skaff]

Thanks...great post!

 

[lilltoolate]

Great post woohoofan

I think i get a gist of what he is trying to say. I've had very aggressive hair loss for about the last 4 yrs and i know that things are only gonna get worse in the long run. Maybe i could slow it down with treatments but I'm a late starter to proven treatments and had lost lot of ground with unproven stuff. I feel like I'm starting to think more positive and confident as my acceptance about my baldness increases.

I use caps a lot since the last 2 to 3 yrs. I buzzed my hair recently and got some positive responses about it from a few people. My confidence definitely got a boost and I've decided to keep this look. Today i took a big 'step' and went for a big wedding party without my cap where i met a lot of my old pals. I usually try to avoid events like these as much as possible. It was nowhere near as bad as i expected. Apart from a few initial comments my pals didn't bother about it either. I actually felt pretty comfortable after some time. I even rode a bike in town without my cap after a long time. Felt great. Although I'm not planning to throw away my caps any soon, i think i'll stop using them a lot sooner than i was expecting.

 

[ginald]

Well, how do we actually know that it gets better? wahoofan was lucky to find a nice wife but many of us will end up as frustrated singles. If you know that there will always be someone there for you it is much easier to deal with hairloss but if you don´t have a significant other it is very easy to become desperate....

Nevertheless good luck for you and thanks for sharing!

there are women for all types of men, and i say women because i mean the plural of woman. every guy, fat, thin, bald, HIV infected, whatever, can find women.

you forgot, hookers

they dont care if you got 3 bald heads....just so long as you got the money.

get them to tell you that they love you while you doing it and you'll never know the difference. :lol:

 

[Knendell]

Thanks for the post. I totally agree but the time inbetween now and then is very painful. Once it gets so bad you can't hide it and everyone has seen it acceptance will soon follow. I kinda feel like that is where I am heading but until I buzz my head I am just torturing myself.
I have lost as much as you can in the front and still think you have a chance to save it. I am trying finasteride for a year and if I see no improvement off goes the hair. I need to accept myself and move on. Easier said than done though.

 

[klink]

You younger guys are a little too mental about losing hair. I know, it's hard not to be. But women notice whether you are in shape and dress nice just as much as they might notice your hair. So get the rest of your house in order. You can't mope around for the next 70 years of your life.

I'm 39, taking the big3, and good things are happening. I'll shave my head when I'm too old to hold the pills and Min foam in my shaky hands.