bad hair transplants and signifcant others/suicidal thoughts

[recboi]

okay, this is just a hypothetical, as my problem has detroyed my confidence and I don't even bother trying to date. Beginning when I was 20-21 I got hair transplants by some guy who used the plug method. I knew it looked unnatural, so I kept on going back and telling him there are all these gaps, so he'd keep on doing it. I just figured hair would grow in between the gaps. After being seriously made fun of by some people, I went to MHR, and had two procedures done there, and apparently little if any of the transplants took. Several years go by, I constantly wear a hat because I'm so embarrassed by this, fortunately I was a student the entire time.. However it got really bothersome to me during my 3rd year of law school, so I went to Dr. Bernstein. He did 3 graft excisions, and so now it's kinda thin, there are gaps, but it doesn't look as pluggy. I was hoping he could do a procedure to fill in the gaps and hide any remaining plugginess. He said I have run out of donor hair, and no more procedures can be done. This was a tiny part of my head, maybe one inch deep, but the entire hairline area. So basically everthing beginning at the hairline to one inch behind it is transplanted.. I don't like the way it looks now, but I'm stuck.. Not only can I not get a decent hairline, but any future hairloss I can't do anything about, no more transplants...

This entire thing is very shameful for me. I have really bad scars on the back, I can't keep my hair short, and my hair looks really bad if it gets more than a few centimeteres. I'm so ashamed I can't go to get a haircut, I trim my hair myself. I think the last time I went was 1996. There's no way I'd ever tell anyone, and I'm guessing some or most people can't tell I had transplants, but if I told them I did, then they would know what to look for and say "oh yeah". This has totally killed my confidence. Some girls would go out with me, but unfortunately they weren't exactly the kindest females, and it would end, but it had nothing to do with my hair. But I'm thinking... For the rest of my life, this is the best it's going to look, and it's only going to get worse.

Just say in theory if I ever had a serious relationship again, or get married. I would have to tell. She'd see my propecia and minoxidil. And if we took a shower together my hair looks pretty damn bad. or if she ran her fingers through the back, she could see the punchgraft holes and the line scar. I'm so ashamed of having had transplants, and I honestly would avoid any relationships for this reason alone. I also though. What would happen if I got cancer and got chemo? I know, I should be worried about dying, but the only thing I can think of what I'll look like with know hair. They'll see the cobblestoning in the front, and the huge amount of scars on the back. I'd be too ashamed to leave home, so I wouldn't be able to work, wouldn't be able to function.

It got horrific today. I went to the bathroom at work today, and I could tell it still looks pluggy. I was seeing the individual plugs. I immediately started having a panic attack, and I swear if I were at home, and not at work, I would have killed myself. My problem is that bad. The only people who know are my parents, brother, and my shrink.

I'm going to bring this up to my shrink on Friday, but all she does is prescribe meds that don't work.. There's nothing that anyone would be able to say in psychotherapy that can make me feel better knowing my hair looks bad, and is only going to get worse. So it gets so bad that I become suicidal over it.

Sorry this is so long, but I really convinced myself that I have to die. The girlfriend/wife thing. I'd be humiliated if she realized or if she found out. She'd probably leave me anyways. I hate having my pic taken, so I wouldn't want to get married because of the pictures that would be taken. And it's going to get worse. I'm 30 now, what will I look like at 40, 50? I forget the rest of what I was thinking, but one hour at work today, I was very suicidal. I'm even ashamed to talk about it to my shrink, and she knows I've had them done..

Does anyone have experience with this issues?



------------ EDIT: This image hosting sucks... but oh well. Look at my shame. Note the massive forehead. I was screwed from birth on. God hates me.

 

[jeffsss]

well man.
I really understand how you feel. Hairloss sucks.. bad. trust me i know. read though all my posts.. especially from the begining of when i started losing my hair. I went balistic.

today i woke up in a cold sweat... I took xanax, and layed back down. i couldnt go back to sleep. I'm getting a little tired now.. so i may go try again real soon.

I understand about a g/f... wife situation. all i can offer is.. try not to let it affect you.

i mean.. i think all of us on this forum think we were delt a shitty hand.. but i mean.. what can we do?

I hate to talk about it.. but i had suicidal thoughts.. i'm young and was happy just like you.. then hair loss came and it seemed like my life was over...

and trust me.. i am still very very very unhappy... i'm on antianxiety/antidepressents.. and i take xanax as needed.. so.. as you can see, your not alone..

just be fourtunate that you have or will have an amazing career. when HM comes out (knock on wood) you'll have the means to get it.

i know how you feel brother.. trust me.

if you ever want a friend to talk to.. just PM me.

jeff

 

[Lopfraze]

I'm sorry you feel that way man.

You shouldn't be "ashamed" of having had transplants. It was obviously a mistake, but its not your fault.

What you need to do is try to stop staring at your hairline so much - if only for a few days. This weekend go away somewhere, go out. Do something else so that you forget about hair.

I understand what you're saying about not wanting a future girlfriend/wife to know the truth about your hair. Now I know that plenty of women are b****s, but there are plenty that aren't.

You WILL find someone who isn't like that. You WILL find someone who you will be able to tell about your transplants. You don't think so now, but it does happen. There are some amazing women out there.

Relationships aren't perfect things that between two perfect people living their perfect lives. Relationships are imperfect. People are imperfect. Don't be ashamed of your hair. Feel sad, but dont' be ashamed. Look at the positives in you life.

Lopfraze

 

[Weepy]

I share your feelings of shame, as irrational as they may seem to others, and I have been suicidal as well. Hair loss has severely affected my judgement, and the way in which I deal with people, personally and professionally. I have been out a few times, but I am not myself at all. And I doubt I ever will be again. It is simply not possible.

What makes all this maddening is that this is a disfigurement, but with an unusual, unpredictable timescale. With finasteride and minoxidil, it is possible to buy some time. But for how long? The conclusion I draw is nothing better is going to come along in my lifetime. Thus, I can find no joy, no motivation... nothing... because the future, even with treatments, seems bleak. I have litle hope. And having little hope makes life very difficult to live.

 

[recboi]

After the age of about 14, there was always something wrong with my hair. I was made fun of because it was so curly. Then when I was a senior in high school, someone told me I had a receeding hairline. I only started noticing it my freshman year of college.

I'll PM you some time... I just stared at it for 5 minutes in my bathroom, it looks so bad, the right side is quite noticeable, the left side is okay. There is NOTHING I can do about it for the rest of my life.

I honestly envy my best friend who died this summer. He actually was using propecia, because he claimed he had a quarter size bald spot, but it grew back. He really did take propecia, but he had the coolest hair I had ever seen in my life. He will never go bald. He will never have bad hairtransplants. I wish I could switch places with him, let me die, and he live.

I'm afraid if I tell my shrink the truth, she'll have me locked up. And then I'll lose my job, my insurance, and my hair because I won't have access to any of my products, making the situation even worse. I just can't win.

well man.
I really understand how you feel. Hairloss sucks.. bad. trust me i know. read though all my posts.. especially from the begining of when i started losing my hair. I went balistic.

today i woke up in a cold sweat... I took xanax, and layed back down. i couldnt go back to sleep. I'm getting a little tired now.. so i may go try again real soon.

I understand about a g/f... wife situation. all i can offer is.. try not to let it affect you.

i mean.. i think all of us on this forum think we were delt a shitty hand.. but i mean.. what can we do?

I hate to talk about it.. but i had suicidal thoughts.. i'm young and was happy just like you.. then hair loss came and it seemed like my life was over...

and trust me.. i am still very very very unhappy... i'm on antianxiety/antidepressents.. and i take xanax as needed.. so.. as you can see, your not alone..

just be fourtunate that you have or will have an amazing career. when HM comes out (knock on wood) you'll have the means to get it.

i know how you feel brother.. trust me.

if you ever want a friend to talk to.. just PM me.

jeff

 

[recboi]

I have OCD, so it is impossible for me to stop staring at it.I just looked at it for 5 minutes, and notice that it still looks pluggy, despite 3 graft excisions. I NEED another procedure to camouflage, but I am apparently out of donor hair, and so I'm stuck like this, and it's only going to get worse. It's all I can think about right now. I was thinking of going to the gym tonight, but I don't even want to be out in public, and I'll certainly be wearing a hat. I went for about 2.5 years without being overly concerned with it. I stopped wearing hats. Now it's back with a vengeance... The right side is horrible, the left side is okay. Up close, there's no mistaking it. Bright lights, forget about it.

But I can tell where my natural hairline is, and I'd look absolutely hideous that way. I can't grow it long, it looks really pluggy, I can't keep it short, you can see the huge gaps.

I'm sorry you feel that way man.

You shouldn't be "ashamed" of having had transplants. It was obviously a mistake, but its not your fault.

What you need to do is try to stop staring at your hairline so much - if only for a few days. This weekend go away somewhere, go out. Do something else so that you forget about hair.

I understand what you're saying about not wanting a future girlfriend/wife to know the truth about your hair. Now I know that plenty of women are b****s, but there are plenty that aren't.

You WILL find someone who isn't like that. You WILL find someone who you will be able to tell about your transplants. You don't think so now, but it does happen. There are some amazing women out there.

Relationships aren't perfect things that between two perfect people living their perfect lives. Relationships are imperfect. People are imperfect. Don't be ashamed of your hair. Feel sad, but dont' be ashamed. Look at the positives in you life.

Lopfraze

 

[fast times]

Man I'm in the same boat as you about 12 years ago I had a transplant with the same results , pluggy with white circles and large scar at the back. I had another hair transplant with individual hairs at the front to camo the plugs but as with the first procedure most transplants died. My only saving grace is ball-caps and prothik concealer. I am married but even around my wife in my own home I always where a hat. I have rededicated 06 as trying to keep up a big three regimen and have added the amazing laser brush. Keep your chin up my man someday we'll win and have our hair a nd lives back. You are not alone! p.s. try out prothik go to their site and pick your colour order some, spray lightly and add firm hairspray afterwards, its the only way I will attend any function, without my ball cap.

 

[recboi]

Will that work on the hairline? I bet you have a larger area covered, but my transplants are only a small percentage of my scalp, maybe an inch behind the new hairline.. Using all of my possible donor hair :cry: I think I'll post some pics one day if I can figure out one of those image hosting sites. You'll all probably get pissed off at me, as from a distance, I look like a completely normal human, but when you get close, you can see the gaps, plugs and cobblestones, though Dr. Bernstein vastly improved the appearance with the graft excisions, but that's all he can do unfortunately.

I actually got the lasercomb too, but I can't see how that, or minoxidil, or propecia can work on these areas since they have been totally altered by transplantation, the original follicles must have been destroyed by the punch grafts...

I'm just frightened of the future. I can't stand it now, what happens when I start losing the rest of my hair propecia and minoxidil cannot maintain it? will look like a complete freak, won't be able to shave my head due to the scarring and cobblestoning. Man, this is like a nightmare. I'm expecting to wake up and be thankful it was only a dream, but it isn't!

Wow, I should have listened to the butcher when he tried to talk me out of it at first. Then I thought it looked bad, so he said you need more, and then again he said more.. I was expecting the entire area to fill in, but you can 't do that with huge grafts, it just makes rows... God I wish I had a time machine and the ability to modify my genes so that I wouldn't lose hair..

The funny thing is, I don't notice any hair falling out. It obviously does, but the only time hair fell out like crazy was when I used a hair relaxer because straightening my hair was the only way I could conceal my receeding hairline before I had transplants.. My hair started falling out like crazy.. My dad blames hair relaxers for his hairloss too... His mom hated curly hair.. I hated curly hair.. Man puberty was rough. When I was a kid, I had straight, blonde hair... Then puberty, it basically became an afro and brown...

I wish I could be optimistic like you are, but I can't. It's only going to get worse, and I'm going to look like a freak and no woman would want that.

Man I'm in the same boat as you about 12 years ago I had a transplant with the same results , pluggy with white circles and large scar at the back. I had another hair transplant with individual hairs at the front to camo the plugs but as with the first procedure most transplants died. My only saving grace is ball-caps and prothik concealer. I am married but even around my wife in my own home I always where a hat. I have rededicated 06 as trying to keep up a big three regimen and have added the amazing laser brush. Keep your chin up my man someday we'll win and have our hair a nd lives back. You are not alone! p.s. try out prothik go to their site and pick your colour order some, spray lightly and add firm hairspray afterwards, its the only way I will attend any function, without my ball cap.

:cry: :cry:

 

[Freestyle]

I normally wouldn't suggest such a thing, but I think you may be a lot happier wearing a hairpiece.

Before blowing off the suggestion, seriously look into it and research how effective a good piece can be these days. You don't have to look like Trump -- you can get a piece that is virtually undetectable; similar to the ones hair/make-up artists use in Hollywood.

It would give you a nice-looking head of hair for a while. Hell, if you only wear the piece for another 10 years, I'm pretty positive there will be much better options for you by then -- like advanced scar healing, hair multiplication etc.

I was a hairpiece bigot before I went into an appointment with a 'hair restoration' clinic a few years back. The guy giving me the hard-sell on their 'advanced laser therapy' program had a terriffic head of hair, perfectly groomed, and I was very skeptical about buying treatments from a guy with no signs of personal hair loss.

We talked about laser therapy, minoxidil, Propecia etc. and the course that I'd be on. I asked what would happen if I was one of the 2 in 10 guys who wasn't happy with the results, and he said they would move me to their 'strand by strand' program, where they sew a natural looking hairpiece into your real hair. I said I didn't want to wear a wig, because people can spot them a mile away. He asked if I spotted his hairpiece when I came in. He even pulled back his hair to show me his hairline, and I still couldn't pick it. It was only when he ran the microscope camera thingy over his hairline that I could see the lace of the hairpiece.

I'm not kidding here -- I was blown away. I couldn't have picked it even if I knew what I was looking for.

Look into it, man. It will be pretty cheap in comparison to your other options, and it may boost your confidence enough to alleviate the depression etc. Sure, it will be hard work maintaining, but it would be worth it to go out without a hat.

If you meet a girl who finds out, or you get to the point where you want to tell her, tell her you wear a hairpiece to hide scarring, and that it's temporary until your surgical options improve. I'm pretty certain anyone could understand that.

And this option is a lot better than doing yourself in.

 

[recboi]

Thanks, but absolutely no freaking way am I doing that.

I normally wouldn't suggest such a thing, but I think you may be a lot happier wearing a hairpiece.

Before blowing off the suggestion, seriously look into it and research how effective a good piece can be these days. You don't have to look like Trump -- you can get a piece that is virtually undetectable; similar to the ones hair/make-up artists use in Hollywood.

It would give you a nice-looking head of hair for a while. Hell, if you only wear the piece for another 10 years, I'm pretty positive there will be much better options for you by then -- like advanced scar healing, hair multiplication etc.

I was a hairpiece bigot before I went into an appointment with a 'hair restoration' clinic a few years back. The guy giving me the hard-sell on their 'advanced laser therapy' program had a terriffic head of hair, perfectly groomed, and I was very skeptical about buying treatments from a guy with no signs of personal hair loss.

We talked about laser therapy, minoxidil, Propecia etc. and the course that I'd be on. I asked what would happen if I was one of the 2 in 10 guys who wasn't happy with the results, and he said they would move me to their 'strand by strand' program, where they sew a natural looking hairpiece into your real hair. I said I didn't want to wear a wig, because people can spot them a mile away. He asked if I spotted his hairpiece when I came in. He even pulled back his hair to show me his hairline, and I still couldn't pick it. It was only when he ran the microscope camera thingy over his hairline that I could see the lace of the hairpiece.

I'm not kidding here -- I was blown away. I couldn't have picked it even if I knew what I was looking for.

Look into it, man. It will be pretty cheap in comparison to your other options, and it may boost your confidence enough to alleviate the depression etc. Sure, it will be hard work maintaining, but it would be worth it to go out without a hat.

If you meet a girl who finds out, or you get to the point where you want to tell her, tell her you wear a hairpiece to hide scarring, and that it's temporary until your surgical options improve. I'm pretty certain anyone could understand that.

And this option is a lot better than doing yourself in.

 

[hellohello]

Honestly now that ive seen the pix it doesn't look as bad as I thought it was from your description.
Have you tried keeping your hair short and brushing it forward...?

 

[recboi]

Impossible. The butcher put the grafts in the wrong direction, my hair grows up. and when you brush it down it looks even more hideous. Keeping it short emphasizes the plugginess, and you can really, really see the gaps between them.

Does anyone know of a surgeon that does body hair to head transplants? I have to at least make this presentable so I can at least have hope that something might prevent me from having the rest of my hair fall out.

Honestly now that ive seen the pix it doesn't look as bad as I thought it was from your description.
Have you tried keeping your hair short and brushing it forward...?

 

[jeffsss]

dude, your hair does not look that bad.

i'm only seeing 2 pics... looks liek there should be more.

if my hair stood up that'd be great.. i wouldnt have to use any hair styling gunk.

and your forehead isnt that big. mine is just as big.. only difference is that YOU have clearer skin.

yes there are places that do body hair transplant... look into them if your that concerned.. If i were you i wouldnt be. you look fine.

 

[recboi]

the problem is, the hairline looks unnatural, and one day, that will be all the hair I have. the rest behind it will fall out, and I have no more donor supply. it looks bad now, i'll look like a freak of nature later. i'll post some pics tonight assuming my shrink doesn't institutionalize me. i'm in her waiting room now...

 

[jeffsss]

the problem is, the hairline looks unnatural, and one day, that will be all the hair I have. the rest behind it will fall out, and I have no more donor supply. it looks bad now, i'll look like a freak of nature later. i'll post some pics tonight assuming my shrink doesn't institutionalize me. i'm in her waiting room now...

well you can't predict the future. 80%+ chance of keeping your hair if you use propecia.

dont know dude. try not to get instituionlaized.. THAT will ruin your life for sure... no job, no income, no home.

 

[Freestyle]

From the pictures I've seen, there are a great many people here who would KILL to have the amount of hair you guys still have.

Just as, you know, a little perspective...

 

[recboi]

okay, wasn't institutionalized... had I told her about tuesday, she would have though. she patronized me, saying it looks natural... whatever.... oh, I assure you, my forehead is twice the size of yours in area... think width. I have virtually no hair on the sides, and you do.

the problem is, the hairline looks unnatural, and one day, that will be all the hair I have. the rest behind it will fall out, and I have no more donor supply. it looks bad now, i'll look like a freak of nature later. i'll post some pics tonight assuming my shrink doesn't institutionalize me. i'm in her waiting room now...

well you can't predict the future. 80%+ chance of keeping your hair if you use propecia.

dont know dude. try not to get instituionlaized.. THAT will ruin your life for sure... no job, no income, no home.

 

[hairwegoagain]

Recboi - so what? You may have tons more hair on your top than I do. Look at my pics - I don't have enough to bother. I go out all the time. Without a hat. I have fun. I am normal. You are too - if you'd just cool your jets.

Let's see. I'm also a tad overweight. You may not be. I don't have an Infiniti G35. Someone here does (is it Gardener?). Jeff might have a crotch rocket. I don't. C&M knows how to play several instruments and sing. I'm doing well to play chopsticks...and if I tried to sing in front of audience, well then, friend, is when the laughing would begin. We could go on and on.

Stop comparing yourself to others - it's just not relevant!

okay, wasn't institutionalized... had I told her about tuesday, she would have though. she patronized me, saying it looks natural... whatever.... oh, I assure you, my forehead is twice the size of yours in area... think width. I have virtually no hair on the sides, and you do.

the problem is, the hairline looks unnatural, and one day, that will be all the hair I have. the rest behind it will fall out, and I have no more donor supply. it looks bad now, i'll look like a freak of nature later. i'll post some pics tonight assuming my shrink doesn't institutionalize me. i'm in her waiting room now...

well you can't predict the future. 80%+ chance of keeping your hair if you use propecia.

dont know dude. try not to get instituionlaized.. THAT will ruin your life for sure... no job, no income, no home.

 

[recboi]

I'm an amateur at this, so I couldn't find your pics unfortunately. I'm presuming you don't have hair transplants. I saw a regular bald buy on th e metro today, and I envied him, despite me having way more hair. Why? Because he doesn't look like a freak.

Please look at pics of bad transplants on the internet, and you're looking at my future. It's already pluggy looking now. And again, my donor hair was ALL used up on a tiny portion of my head, and even that area has terrible coverage. There is NOTHING I can do anymore.

How can you possibly not care, or not worry or whatever, when you KNOW something really bad is happening. It's similar to knowing the exact day you'll die..

THe freakitude is limited now, but it will get worse. And jeffsss, I will lose all my hair because I started losing my hair at 16 I believe. That's a long time to have been losing hair. THe propecia and minoxidil may work for a while, but it probably won't work forever.

I'm in shape, I go to the gym (last night I ran out because wet with sweat hair looked really pluggy.. I had never noticed or paid attention before. I'm going to have to start wearing hats to the gym if I continue going, which I'm not sure the point of going anymore is.

Recboi - so what? You may have tons more hair on your top than I do. Look at my pics - I don't have enough to bother. I go out all the time. Without a hat. I have fun. I am normal. You are too - if you'd just cool your jets.

Let's see. I'm also a tad overweight. You may not be. I don't have an Infiniti G35. Someone here does (is it Gardener?). Jeff might have a crotch rocket. I don't. C&M knows how to play several instruments and sing. I'm doing well to play chopsticks...and if I tried to sing in front of audience, well then, friend, is when the laughing would begin. We could go on and on.

Stop comparing yourself to others - it's just not relevant!

okay, wasn't institutionalized... had I told her about tuesday, she would have though. she patronized me, saying it looks natural... whatever.... oh, I assure you, my forehead is twice the size of yours in area... think width. I have virtually no hair on the sides, and you do.

the problem is, the hairline looks unnatural, and one day, that will be all the hair I have. the rest behind it will fall out, and I have no more donor supply. it looks bad now, i'll look like a freak of nature later. i'll post some pics tonight assuming my shrink doesn't institutionalize me. i'm in her waiting room now...

well you can't predict the future. 80%+ chance of keeping your hair if you use propecia.

dont know dude. try not to get instituionlaized.. THAT will ruin your life for sure... no job, no income, no home.

 

[Freestyle]

Well, now it just seems like you WANT to feel like a social freak. Like you're looking for excuses to wallow in self pity.

If so, then that's your perogative.