A woman's take on hair loss

reverie

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Hi, I'm new here and I joined to ask questions about Avodart. I'm a woman, age 27, and thinning for a year and a half (it's obvious now), but I'm posting mostly from my pre-loss experience.

I've read many posts by guys who struggle with the emotional impact of Androgenetic Alopecia. I can only say that for me, hair didn't play a role for me in dating or attraction. Before I started losing, I was really attractive, had my pick of dates, and never discriminated based on hair. (You'll have to take my word for this because I'm not posting a picture of me NOW.)

When I was 24, I almost married a 27 year old NW6 or NW7 (he shaved his head). We split because he was/is a career-military man and our lifestyles weren't compatible. He instigated the split, and it had nothing, NOTHING, to do with hair. In fact, he cared (minimally) about his lack of hair WAY more than I did. Call me crazy, but before my loss, I honestly hardly ever noticed guys' hair. All I knew is that lots of guys went bald and to that end I thought "so what" (if even that).

At 25, right before my Androgenetic Alopecia began, I met and fell in love with another man, came close to marriage, but he left on account of my hair loss (the fact it is Androgenetic Alopecia, genetic, progressive and permanent and not some transient problem). He was 16 years older than me and had (still has) more hair than any human should reasonably be allowed to have, and before my loss, made (what he thought were "subtle") comments that he had more hair than most 20 year old men. That habit, which was so ingrained in his psyche it actually became a subconscious reflex, actually did not place him in a good light with me. I just found it conceited and a little bit ridiculous coming from an otherwise mature-presenting man. Anyway, I ask why on earth did that happen to me, as if Androgenetic Alopecia in a woman wasn't bad enough already, when I NEVER discriminated on a man based on his hair?

Bottom line, guys' hair doesn't matter to a lot of women. Before I ever conceived of Androgenetic Alopecia in a woman, I thought hair loss in a guy was no big deal. Sure, there are some women who place too much emphasis on it and that is not your loss...those women will experience hardships later in life and then they won't care about something as superficial as guys' hair anymore. I come from a place of understanding (there is little more devastating than Androgenetic Alopecia in a young woman. It's almost like losing a breast or a limb). But what they say about confidence, carriage, and success in a man being more important than hair is absolutely true.
 

IBM

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reverie i feel you! Before my hairloss i considered myself as a gorgeous teenager. Now i'm just a mix of dust with ashes!

I fell in love for a women one year and half! Today i realize that my hairloss just ruined my love life. Still i love her! Its unfair! I wish i turned into a robot without human feelings!
 

barcafan

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Comforting to hear. But take solace in the fact that for a woman, treating Androgenetic Alopecia *SHOULD* be much easier than for a man. The second man you dated obviously had a complex, i have a friend (Who's a good guy) but really for some reason always notices and makes comments on balding guys. It's really weird because he's usually not the type to talk $hit.

Are you European, by the way?
 

RaginDemon

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barcafan said:
Comforting to hear. But take solace in the fact that for a woman, treating Androgenetic Alopecia *SHOULD* be much easier than for a man. The second man you dated obviously had a complex, i have a friend (Who's a good guy) but really for some reason always notices and makes comments on balding guys. It's really weird because he's usually not the type to talk $hit.

Are you European, by the way?

is he himself thinning or balding? Before I started thinning, I honestly never paid attention to any guy's hair.
 
A

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barcafan said:
But take solace in the fact that for a woman, treating Androgenetic Alopecia *SHOULD* be much easier than for a man.
Howso? At least we know what is causing our hair loss. Women have all of our possible causes plus a whole sea of other possible causes to rule out. When you don't know what is causing your hair loss it is a hell of a lot harder to treat it. And if the cause is identical becuase the condition is identical, then at the very most, the difficulty treating it would be the same, not easier.

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barcafan

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I remember when i was first losing my hair going on a research frenzy and remember reading from multiple sources that womens hair loss is just much easier to reverse (although can be harder to figure the underlying cause) and that it very seldom ends up in actual fullon baldness.
 

ghg

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IBM said:
reverie i feel you! Before my hairloss i considered myself as a gorgeous teenager. Now i'm just a mix of dust with ashes!

I fell in love for a women one year and half! Today i realize that my hairloss just ruined my love life. Still i love her! Its unfair! I wish i turned into a robot without human feelings!

Haha, I couldn't stop laughing at this post! You're so funny without intending to be.
 

RaginDemon

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ghg said:
IBM said:
reverie i feel you! Before my hairloss i considered myself as a gorgeous teenager. Now i'm just a mix of dust with ashes!

I fell in love for a women one year and half! Today i realize that my hairloss just ruined my love life. Still i love her! Its unfair! I wish i turned into a robot without human feelings!

Haha, I couldn't stop laughing at this post! You're so funny without intending to be.

IBM is quite a character, isnt he?
 

Nathaniel

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Hairloss is freaking devastating, no matter if you're male or female. Some days I feel like I don't have it that bad but certain days I feel like I look ridiculous. Today is a great example.
 

RaginDemon

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Nathaniel said:
Hairloss is freaking devastating, no matter if you're male or female. Some days I feel like I don't have it that bad but certain days I feel like I look ridiculous. Today is a great example.

I know exactly what you mean... I feel happier more energetic when I am having a great hair day.
 

reverie

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Hmm, it's weird how many guys point out other guys' hair loss. One of my closest friends is a guy (we grew up together) and he's a pretty decent guy at that, but before I started losing, he pointed out EVERY combover he saw with disgust. I really didn't like that habit. To be honest, most of the time I didn't even SEE the so-called loss he would point out. And no, he wasn't and still isn't losing, so it's not heightened sensitivity to a shared problem, but when *I* started losing he felt so badly for me he stopped that wretched habit. 10 years I tried to get him to stop making fun of other guys for something that can't be controlled or helped, and it took MY hair loss for him to actually put it to action!

The older guy I dated, he was just in love with himself, I guess...he wouldn't just make comments about his bountiful hair and other guys' loss, but also how rare (special) his blood type is, how tall he is, how he is regularly mistaken for 10+ years younger...he once asked me for a prescription for Retin-A so he could keep his skin looking 20 years old, because he didn't want to go to his hot female dermatologist for it. All that just made me feel worse about myself.

It is so ridiculous for a guy to make fun of male hair loss...I don't know why some guys do this. If a woman does it she just has no class, but for a man to is almost absurd since many (most in fact?) men suffer from it to some degree at some point. Hell, even my own brother makes fun of other guys' loss...and right in front of me too! (he knows I'm losing, he came with me to my dermatology appointments)
 

RaginDemon

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reverie said:
Hmm, it's weird how many guys point out other guys' hair loss. One of my closest friends is a guy (we grew up together) and he's a pretty decent guy at that, but before I started losing, he pointed out EVERY combover he saw with disgust. I really didn't like that habit. To be honest, most of the time I didn't even SEE the so-called loss he would point out. And no, he wasn't and still isn't losing, so it's not heightened sensitivity to a shared problem, but when *I* started losing he felt so badly for me he stopped that wretched habit. 10 years I tried to get him to stop making fun of other guys for something that can't be controlled or helped, and it took MY hair loss for him to actually put it to action!

The older guy I dated, he was just in love with himself, I guess...he wouldn't just make comments about his bountiful hair and other guys' loss, but also how rare (special) his blood type is, how tall he is, how he is regularly mistaken for 10+ years younger...he once asked me for a prescription for Retin-A so he could keep his skin looking 20 years old, because he didn't want to go to his hot female dermatologist for it. All that just made me feel worse about myself.

It is so ridiculous for a guy to make fun of male hair loss...I don't know why some guys do this. If a woman does it she just has no class, but for a man to is almost absurd since many (most in fact?) men suffer from it to some degree at some point. Hell, even my own brother makes fun of other guys' loss...and right in front of me too! (he knows I'm losing, he came with me to my dermatology appointments)

haha that older dude sounds like a major f**...excuse my language, I am a senior financial analyst I don't normally talk like that.

I have no respects for a dude like that. I have seen fellas with hair problems doing very well at work, at the gym and in the dating scenes.

He can be full of himself, one day he will trip and fall hard on the ground. Karma is a biatch. :)
 

Nathaniel

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Theres this girl in one of my classes who was pissed off at some guy and once he left and we were left alone she started talking about him and was quick to point out his lack of hair. I am still at the point where my hair situation is not that noticeable or bad specially when concealed well, so she probably hasn't noticed, but man I felt awful listening to how she felt about bald guys. I mean, she is my friend....But oh well.....
 
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