dudemons story

[HairPieceMan]

hey dudemon, id like to know your full story.

i know you mentioned you were married then at 25 you were bald, wife divorced you and then got HTs.

my main question is i know you siad you ignored women from 25-42, so my question is how the hell did you manage to keep that up without going crazy or something.

i am having a hard time envisioning myself never having a girl form 25-40, 15 full years without females, sounds like a nightmare.

surely you must be on deaths door or something.

[HairPieceMan]

sorry, i didn't mean to be offensive to someones social life.

that phrase just blurted out.

mainly becuase i feel so **** now almost 26 and i dont see how i can function if im 30 and not with a woman, let alone being 40 and still like this.

my question is how has the lack of woman affected you thus far, how are you able to cope, what things do you do etc.

[Ori83]

At least he was married at 25.. HPM i thought you wrote somewhere you never had a girlfriend... anyway, not everything for everyone start and ends with girls... there is much more to life then that.

[monty1978]

[Beingbaldsucks]

At least he was married at 25.. HPM i thought you wrote somewhere you never had a girlfriend... anyway, not everything for everyone start and ends with girls... there is much more to life then that.

The there is not. Love is the most important thing

[dudemon]

My story is LOOOONG and complicated. I'll try to simplify it as much as possible. Here's the *condensed* version:

In short, I was a better than average looking guy when younger, and I've had my fair share of beautiful women, including my ex. All throughout highschool, and for 5-6 years after, I was a "party animal" and I had a major social life. I had tons of friends and I partied 7 days a week pretty much that whole time.

Despite the fact that my ex was VERY attractive, she was also very insecure and possessive. Over the course of our 8 year relationship, she forced me to dump almost ALL my friends and be with her ... and ONLY her ALL of the time. Because love is blind, and I was very naive, I let it happen despite "advice" I got from a few of my true friends who tried to set me straight at the time. I just didn't want to listen to them; I didn't want to face the facts and I pretended it wasn't so. In fact, although I didn't realize it at the time, the only friends I was allowed to have were the ones that she was BOINKING behind my back!

But, after several years of letting myself go, and some unfortunate mishaps (that were not my fault, BTW), I became less and less attractive. Since my relationship with my ex was based off of 90% lust (sex, sex, and ... more sex!) as I became less physically appealing, my ex began to lose interest in me. By the time we had been maried for 5 years or so, we were nothing more than roomates living separate lives under the same roof. She went out and did her thing with her friends, and me with mine (what friends I still had, which were very few and far between at that point).

When she finally dumped me in late 1995, I was 27 yeas old, and I was heartbroken and TOTALLY devastated. She meant literally EVERYTHING to me. Her reason was that she was just not physically attracted enough to me anymore. At first, I was 100% lost, and many times during the next 5 years, I came very close to just ending it all. For the first couple of years, I tried to go out and meet women, but all I got was 100% rejection across the board, no matter what. I tried EVERYTHING too. Then, it dawned on me: I had become "repulsive" to women and my ex was baiscally rihgt about me! I knew that, no matter what, I was going to continue to get rejected and there was nothing I could do about it. About 2 years after my divorce, I gave up on the dating scene COMPLETELY, and by that time, I would say that I had gotten rejected 500+ times or so ... enough to seriously bruise ANY guy's ego. I am not kidding!

At that time, I became a hardcore alcoholic, had a go-around with every illegal substance known to man, and lived like I just didn't care anymore. I developed a very hopeless outlook, and had a VERY negative attitude about life in general. I lived day in, and day out, as if I just didn't care anymore. Many times I came very close to just ending it all. During those 5 years, I was fired from umpteen jobs (couldn't hold a job down), became homeless, and lost everything more times than you can count with both hands. I was literally living out of my car.

Then, one day in my early 30's (about 10 years ago) I woke up. I did not want to continue on the path I was on, because I knew I'd be dead in less than 5 years. So, I tried to change. I had an HT in 2003, which was a complete botch job. I made the mistake of going to a local hack/butcher that decided to to "try his hand" at HT's and he used me for a guinea pig. I wound up getting a major infection, which cost me another $5,000 to get rid of.

Then, I went to one of the "world's best" HT clinics. Not going to say which one, but they are truly awesome. Since then, I've had 2 VERY successful HT's, and I am planning on my 4th and final one for some time this summer. If I can get 3-4,000 grafts (strip+FUE+BHT) I think it may FINALLY look decent. (It ought to ... in the end I will have spent approx $75,000).

I returned to college in 2007, and I graduated last year with a 3.9 GPA with a bachelor's degree in accounting and minor in CIS (with a concentration in programming). But have yet to ge a job in my new career. I graduated more than a year ago.

However, my social life has never really quite gotten back to what it once was. I still have only very few friends. But I am always trying to find some of my old ones on facebook. Maybe I can get some of them back ... someday maybe? Maybe I can meet new friends, if and when In ever get my physical appearance to an "acceptable" level, so I don't feel like a freak wherever I go. Perhaps then people maybe accept me as an average guy, and maybe I can still have a few good years of social life left ... before I reach the "convalescent hospital" age .

Anyways, in school these last few years, I was not really able to "connect" with very many people. I know it was because my hair looks "weird" still, and not 100% normal, even for an "older balding" man. I met one girl who was my age back in 2010. But she lost interest in me, and has moved on. She is now engaged, and does not even want to be friends with me anymore.

But that's about it. I try to go out every now and then and socialize, but I am EXTREMELY limited as far as the tpye of people and women I am able to interact with. Even if they don't notice my hair being weird, I am still not able to socialize very well anymore. I just feel awkward and very uncomfortable looking the way I do. Also, I guess after so many years of being basically anti-social, you begin to lose your social skills. In fact, I don't even have basic conversation skills anymore, which has cost DEARLY me as far as job interview skills. As of now, I doubt that I am even going to get hired in my new career. I think I am going to have to go back into my old career for a while (auto mechanic).

But my hair is not my ONLY major problem, as far as my appearance is concerned. There's my face, which is ALSO MAJORLY f*cked up. My nasal cavity has collapsed completely on one side, and my nose is crooked. I have majorly f*cked up skin complexion on my face, and now, as I'm getting older, I have a few wrinkles as well as "raccoon eyes" which is caused by insomnia. I have insomnia becuase 2 years ago, I got an ear infection and developed a severe case of tinnitus (ringing in the ears) which has majorly screwed up my sleep patterns. As a result, I have becoome dependent on sleeping meds. I've also had a few "industrial accidents" which have left very nasty permanent scars on my face. In essence, I am a very ugly looking guy. I am in need of $10,000+ of cosmetic surgery on my face before it even looks remotely normal again.

But, still, no matter how things get, I never give up. 10 years ago I set out on a quest to improve myself. I have not abandoned that, becuase I know that if I do, I will wind up being dead in no time. I simply cannot go through another 5 years like I did before. It would literally be the end of me if I did. This is why I never give up, and try to be positive, no matter how bad things still are. I never lose faith.

[Ori83]

At least he was married at 25.. HPM i thought you wrote somewhere you never had a girlfriend... anyway, not everything for everyone start and ends with girls... there is much more to life then that.

The there is not. Love is the most important thing

Be happy, thats more important

[HairPieceMan]

lol im not trying to out alpha someone on a HL forum, i had 1 gf pre hairloss times.

in any case i just ignored girls 20-25 with the post-HL.

pre hairloss times and post HL times aren't the same, you are not the same person.

keep in mind im 5' 5", i think dudemons story would be different if he was 5 5 at the age of 16+

in any case, i was sondering more how it feels to be without females for so long, mainly becuase i am finding it hard to live this life.

so im more intesrtedin that rather than logical events of your life, but that's good to, but how does it feel emotionally, like how do you handle it, if u dont mind when did u start to get into hooker, how often you used them and such like, it migh be an option for myself later on, im 25 mind.

[slipy]

health is more important than bitches, both mental and physical. Unfortunately balding can impair your mental health severely.

[HairPieceMan]

well their is a hierchachy of needs for people.

so if ur in perfect health you wont care about health but more about chicks

think about it if you were drowning would you care if you had women or lots of freinds in your life

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow's_h ... y_of_needs

so yeah health is more important, but since 99.9% of people are healthy, we are more concerned about girls.