How do you deal with Anger?

[Smooth]

Lately i find myself angry due to my nw situation, i really dont like it and dont know how to cope, i find myself angry at people that look at me.. my hair i mean, or whats left of it, i feel the pressure building up inside and im afraid someone will trigger it, i see people with heads full of hair , and it never bothered me as it is now, i can feel the arrogance, i know its not aimed towards me nor to any other bald guy, its just the thought they have inside their minds "im so lucky, i hope ill never go bald", their fear itself of going bald (how ironically...) is what pisses me off!!! i think its inevitable, only a matter of time before something terrible will happen to a random nw1, i would rather be depressed then angry because enger, although not healthy, could lead me to alot of trouble, i tried talking about that with family for some abnormal reason they think i can just "ignore it and move on", this is not my type of handling things, i fix things, or accept them but since none of these work too well lately, im trying to figure ways dealing with the anger,
I guess its about time i hit the gym again, pump iron, start jugging or something, maybe join the UFC i cant go out clubbing aswell, people that do that are too superficial..too risky.. so ill have to pick-up in bars and school i guess :/ so i got the "girls thing" covered, now its all about the environment, i know someone will comment soon and ill snap, i just can feel it!! this really sucks, meh.... how do you handle this? (and plz, dont write me on nw3-, just dont do it, it will only get me more pissed, respect a balding guys request will you?)

thanks in advance, sorry for the rant, had to take it out...

[Petchsky]

Hey Smooth,

One thing that helped me when going through a similar thing to you was to shave my head, I really didn't want too, but it was the best thing I did as it takes your mind of it and your sending a message that yeah, i'm balding but **** it, I got nothing to hide!

I don't know what you're doing about your hairloss, but your right, no good really comes from anger, but I think your riding the rocky ride of learning to accept your hairloss, no easy feat! I believe it goes in stages akin to dealing with loss.

First comes denial, then anger, followed by depression and finally acceptance. How long these stages last for are down to you. This is a model I know psychiatrists follow, and I think it's relevant.

Hang in there boss

[Smooth]

Hey Petchsky, i appreciate the input, i know your words come from experience, im aware of the 5 stages of acceptance and also know its a something i have to go throw, but i thought i covered long time ago, seems im in a cycle, which includes acceptance back and forth, i wont hit a true acceptance, or atleast not anytime soon, it just that this stage that im in is not healthy and i admit i need some help or guidance to deal with it (hence the thread) i think ill give a try, shaving it all might work for a while, did you went back and forth after you shaved your hair with the anger thing ? (somedays its like i dont five a ****, and some i feel like ripping someones head off)

[Route66]

First comes denial, then anger, followed by depression and finally acceptance.

Or denial, then anger, followed by depression and finally a HT.

[thetodd]

I look at it this way.
Bald is in.
Look at all the shiny domes nowadays. Even guys who aren't really losing their hair are going to the slick look. If you can't deal with your hairloss with a concealer or just by having it cropped very short, buy yourself a headblade, some nice lube, and be done with it. If that doesn't help, try a little rum and coke...

[cuebald]

I'll agree, there are a lot of slick baldies on TV recently, it seems to be a really modern look.
I think it looks better without any facial hair too.

[qball01]

believe me man..I know how you feel. I'm one of like 5 people who shave their heads at my school and it can be tough. (and believe me..I know I may have a bit of stubble on top but for instance, last week a girl came up to me while we were drunk downtown waiting for a cab and gave me PROPS because "you have no hair," haha...so that is how I'm seen by the public...

First off...the gym helps a looot. Its hard to always be motivated to go, but when you do...you feel a lot better...lol, not the best example, but even reading the gym shooters diary...he said he felt a lot less anger and whatnot once he started working out...of course he went ahead with his plan anyways, but he was too far gone to begin with. Point is...going to the gym made even a guy like him feel less crazy...so for someobdoy normal like you with an understandable problem, it can help.

Secondly...one thing people especially on this site don't give enough credit to is a mans overall image, including how he presents himself and his personality, etc. Take care of yourself to the point that you look the best you can with the hair you've got...(going to the gym, tanning, etc. can all help) but once you've reached that point...don't think about it anymore. If you LOOK the best you can with everything you've got then be at peace with that fact and start focusing on the things that require your personality to take control.

Also...You've gotta be prepared for some comments..and rather than showing how insecure you are by breaking somebody's nose, just see it for what it is...a dumb comment made by a dumb person...the best thing to do is fire an insult back about the other person. NW 1's arent perfect either...and if one of them rips on your hair..well then ANY flaw they have, whether they be overweight, big nose, very skinny, just ugly in general, etc. is fair game for you to point out. That will show people that A) you're witty...and B) you're not just going to tolerate people acting superior to you because you have a physical trait that you can't control. You have to display dominant characteristics the best you can...there are plenty of bald alpha males on this planet and then there are plenty of sensitive, whiny bald people who let jokes made about their hairloss deeply affect them as a person (and other people see this). Which would you prefer to be? Point is...unless the person who makes fun of you looks like a male model and has an IQ of 150...he better be prepared for an insult back if he chooses to say something about your hair.

The best thing you can do is let these feelings drive you towards being superior...call it overcompensating if you will, but you have to get it out of your head that people with full heads of hair are better than you in any way...they have more hair than you...THATS it. They're not physically or mentally superior to you...unless they're very athletic, but thats something in your control entirely. Believe me...I know how much it ****ing sucks sometimes but you're either going to end up living with such anger and resentment like U-man and pretty much throw away the bulk of your young adult years...or you're going to do everything you can not to let it happen, no matter how tough it is.

To the real world...and not the people on this site...hair does not comprise the man. Take care of yourself and try to live your life the same way you would if you DID have a full head of hair...thats the best advice IMO and its easier said than done...but eventually you're just gonna have to let go of your resentment and instead let it drive you....I'm in the exact same boat as you buddy. I never imagined I would be this bald at 21 but at the same time I'm still living and I'm trying my best to make improvements too.

[uncomfortable man]

Right Q, tell him it's all in his head....you'd be doing him a real favor. And for smooth, it's hard isn't it? When your hairloss has progressed beyond just you noticing it to everyone else noticing it...and then commenting on it or just looking at you funny IT'S HARD NOT TO TAKE IT PERSONALLY WHEN IT IS HAPPENING TO YOU! Wait till it gets worse and the comments get worse and the stares become more obvious. Where will that inner strength be when someone just flat out laughs in your face and all you could think about is how you can hurt him/her back. It's hard...and it only gets harder my friend.

[dudemon]

I go to the gym!

No seriosly, working out helps me. Music is another avenue. I like to play some old heavy thrash tunes on my electric guitar to get out agression. Or, if I can't play them, I get in my car and blast the tunes while cruising around for a while. I just "go for rides" sometimes, and it really helps.

[Nashville Hairline]

It is in his head though..thats what anger management is about. There are a couple of reactions to someone giving you a 'look' and pure homicidal rage is only one of those. Admittedly its hard not to feel that way but management of it is about stopping and recognizing it for waht it is and changing the one thing that can be changed in that situation i.e. your thoughts (the guy giving the 'look' will always exist no matter how many of them you do beat up). Cos anger is a negative thing and when not properly expressed can lead to depression.

As above would also recommend sports as its a good way to get out that aggression positively. I always feel much calmer after a swim.